I'm so bored....
There is no work going on...all I do is sit here and wait for the phone to ring occasionally, and book appointments, if that's what the person needs. Check in a pt, now and then..file a few pages of paperwork and records. LORD..I have still a month and half to go of this shit! This is what I mean...for a whole day, and the day is more than half way over, we only have 2 patients booked for THE WHOLE DAY!!! UGH! And I don't get off work till 430pm. Seriously, it blows! Plus it's freakin hot today and we have no air conditioning. We have 4 fans in this one office, all going! But fans only blow the air that is in here...BLAH! HOT AIR! And tomorrow is supposed to be hotter.
So, since I broke up with Martin, I've been pretty down. Actually, I don't feel down that much during the day, but at night when I goto bed, I really start to think about him. Why is that? I mean it's not like he was here every night staying with me. He lived 3 hours from me, and since January we only saw each other 6 weekends, and a few of those were long weekends, consisting of 3-5 days. That's not a whole hell of a lot, for just being 3 hours from each other. I talked to this one friend of mine the other day amnd he said to me that any time he's been into a girl, and if they lived far apart, he was there every weekend. But Martin would always give me some sort of excuse...he's busy..helping out a friend..going to his mothers...band practice. This is a man who told me that he wanted to know what life was like with me. Told me, that if he says he's going to do something, he does it. Told me that he never wanted to hurt me or disappoint me. What happened to that guy...the guy who used to text my cell all the time just to say hello and that he was thinking of me? This was the guy who told me after only knowing me for a month that he loved me. Even when I asked him if he falls in love that easily and he said sometimes..I should've known right then and there. I can't help but think that he got back together with his ex-girlfriend. Why? Because she was still contacting him...gave him gifts..made him a cake for his birthday. And she was beautiful, and really really skinny. But I don't know for sure. I don't want to know. And I know that I did the right thing by telling him that I didn't want to be with someone that only thought of themself. I was very cool with him..I never went off on him, so I know for a fact he can never say that I was a psycho bitch! =)
So, am I heart broken..yes, but he broke my heart a few months ago when all this began..the not calling or texting or coming to see me. My heart was broken when he was still accepting gifts from his ex.
Seriously, I know it's one of those things that people roll their eyes at, but I do think I wasn't thin enough for him. So many times I caught him looking at other woman, and they were a lot thinner than me. He just didn't look at me. Is that too much to ask..to have someone that not only likes the way I look, but loves the way I look. And can't get enough of seeing me?! I'm 27 years old and still haven't had a real meaningful intimate relationship. I'm that worried about it, really..but it would be nice.
I really need to put my energy into working on my house...sorting through things to get rid of stuff. I have so many clothes that I don't wear anymore..and even though I keep saying that I'm going to lose weight and fit into it again one day...but why the hell for...it's all out of style, I'm sure! So yeah...time to get rid of everything that doesn't fit me any more. And I mean everything. Especially if it's older than 5 years.
Well, it's now 1:20pm...everyone else is back from lunch, and I'm still bored. So, I guess maybe I'll try to strike up a conversation.
So, since I broke up with Martin, I've been pretty down. Actually, I don't feel down that much during the day, but at night when I goto bed, I really start to think about him. Why is that? I mean it's not like he was here every night staying with me. He lived 3 hours from me, and since January we only saw each other 6 weekends, and a few of those were long weekends, consisting of 3-5 days. That's not a whole hell of a lot, for just being 3 hours from each other. I talked to this one friend of mine the other day amnd he said to me that any time he's been into a girl, and if they lived far apart, he was there every weekend. But Martin would always give me some sort of excuse...he's busy..helping out a friend..going to his mothers...band practice. This is a man who told me that he wanted to know what life was like with me. Told me, that if he says he's going to do something, he does it. Told me that he never wanted to hurt me or disappoint me. What happened to that guy...the guy who used to text my cell all the time just to say hello and that he was thinking of me? This was the guy who told me after only knowing me for a month that he loved me. Even when I asked him if he falls in love that easily and he said sometimes..I should've known right then and there. I can't help but think that he got back together with his ex-girlfriend. Why? Because she was still contacting him...gave him gifts..made him a cake for his birthday. And she was beautiful, and really really skinny. But I don't know for sure. I don't want to know. And I know that I did the right thing by telling him that I didn't want to be with someone that only thought of themself. I was very cool with him..I never went off on him, so I know for a fact he can never say that I was a psycho bitch! =)
So, am I heart broken..yes, but he broke my heart a few months ago when all this began..the not calling or texting or coming to see me. My heart was broken when he was still accepting gifts from his ex.
Seriously, I know it's one of those things that people roll their eyes at, but I do think I wasn't thin enough for him. So many times I caught him looking at other woman, and they were a lot thinner than me. He just didn't look at me. Is that too much to ask..to have someone that not only likes the way I look, but loves the way I look. And can't get enough of seeing me?! I'm 27 years old and still haven't had a real meaningful intimate relationship. I'm that worried about it, really..but it would be nice.
I really need to put my energy into working on my house...sorting through things to get rid of stuff. I have so many clothes that I don't wear anymore..and even though I keep saying that I'm going to lose weight and fit into it again one day...but why the hell for...it's all out of style, I'm sure! So yeah...time to get rid of everything that doesn't fit me any more. And I mean everything. Especially if it's older than 5 years.
Well, it's now 1:20pm...everyone else is back from lunch, and I'm still bored. So, I guess maybe I'll try to strike up a conversation.