You an' me were the mountains, fallin' into the sea
Why is it that every time I go to write an entry, I get halfway down the page, decide it's complete shit, and start over?
And then, why is it, after having started over, that I fall into the same snare repeatedly until I either give up, or write something about hating people?
Hello, welcome to my journal.
Would it matter if no one read it?
Would I magically stop caring about what I write if I was the only one I was writing it to?
Would I have anything to write if I wasn't trying to preach?
A few weeks ago I got out my notebook and started writing about what I believe.
I wrote out some basic principles for what, and why, I believe.
There, in black and white, is my religion.
I don't know how I feel about it. I've always had opinions - and I certainly still do - about this, and that, and all those other things, but I've never really solidly attached myself to a specific set of views.
How should I feel now that I can say 'I believe X for Y specific reason.'
Now that I have something so concrete.. what next?
These things I believe, I don't hold close to my heart. I take them for truths, yes, but they are cold truths. I understand them like I understand gravity. It's like a cold, thick lump in the bottom of a pool of disgust and here, me, on my happy little raft trolling around, eyes up, loving the sky and the sunny ignorance.
Am I the creature I fear?
And then, why is it, after having started over, that I fall into the same snare repeatedly until I either give up, or write something about hating people?
Hello, welcome to my journal.
Would it matter if no one read it?
Would I magically stop caring about what I write if I was the only one I was writing it to?
Would I have anything to write if I wasn't trying to preach?
A few weeks ago I got out my notebook and started writing about what I believe.
I wrote out some basic principles for what, and why, I believe.
There, in black and white, is my religion.
I don't know how I feel about it. I've always had opinions - and I certainly still do - about this, and that, and all those other things, but I've never really solidly attached myself to a specific set of views.
How should I feel now that I can say 'I believe X for Y specific reason.'
Now that I have something so concrete.. what next?
These things I believe, I don't hold close to my heart. I take them for truths, yes, but they are cold truths. I understand them like I understand gravity. It's like a cold, thick lump in the bottom of a pool of disgust and here, me, on my happy little raft trolling around, eyes up, loving the sky and the sunny ignorance.
Am I the creature I fear?