FIC: Your Whole World Now Is an Open Door (SGA, John/Rodney, NC-17)
Your Whole World Now Is an Open Door
Author: telesilla
Fandom/Pairing: SGA, John/Rodney
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 6100
Disclaimer: The SGA characters do not belong to me. Duh.
Summary: John may not know what he needs, but Rodney does.
Notes: A Sweet Charity fic for the fabulous geeklite, who has been incredibly patient with my slowness on this one. She said: "I like John a little submissive and needy." Hopefully this fits the bill. Many thanks to helens78 for yet another excellent beta.
You go through your whole life waiting
But you don't know what you're waiting for
One day you'll meet somebody
And your whole world now is an open door
Count On My Love -- Liz Phair
John Sheppard was not a talker.
This was hardly news to Rodney; he'd known the man for over two years before they finally started this thing of theirs, and John had never been a talker. Which, in a way, was fine; Rodney had once had a boyfriend who thought it was important to share his feelings on just about everything and it hadn't gone over well when Rodney had finally snapped "and you think I care because...?"
The downside was that it was really, really hard to figure out what John wanted or even what he'd done before. Somehow a laconic, mumbled, "Yeah, I've fooled around with guys a few times before, McKay," didn't give Rodney much to work with.
It was, however, not enough to stop Rodney from trying to figure John out. Being a fairly well-organized person, he made a mental list neatly divided into columns--"What John has done/What John will do/What John wants to do." He had one for himself, of course, and for a man who could play chess without a board, it wasn't that difficult to lay one list over the other and see where things matched up. He suspected each column of his would be longer than John's even if he had all of the data to complete John's.
Although Rodney liked to think of himself as an experienced man of the world, he knew that basically, he was just easy. The real question was: was John?
* * *
Well, I already knew that handjobs were on the has done/will do list, Rodney thought as John pushed him against the wall of a supply closet near the gear room and stuck a hand down his pants.
"Oh, yeah," John breathed, working Rodney's dick nice and hard.
"Wait," Rodney said, although it wasn't easy. "Stop." He put a hand on John's chest and pushed a little.
"Why?"
"Because there's a perfectly good bed two corridors and one transporter hop away."
"Okay, fine." John sounded a little surprised, which only confirmed Rodney's belief that most of John's gay experiences had been furtive, hasty things.
Well, that's about to change.
When they reached Rodney's room, he pulled his shirt off and looked over at John. "We spent a lot of time wandering around in yet another forest today and I need a shower. And so do you. Join me."
"Jeeze, McKay, all I wanted to do was jerk you off."
"Fine," Rodney said with a grin. "We'll keep to nothing but handjobs, but in the shower. It's not like we have anything else to do today." John rolled his eyes, but he also stripped off his shirt and started in on his boots, so Rodney just smiled a little and finished undressing.
One of the few luxuries in Atlantis were the showers and Rodney gave a happy sigh as the hot water pounded over them. "Dual shower heads," he said. "At least the Ancients got something right."
"Oh, yeah." John leaned back and closed his eyes, a genuine smile of pleasure on his face. For a moment, he looked relaxed and oddly young, and Rodney felt something catch in his chest. Telling himself that it was just that he appreciated John's good looks, he grabbed the soap.
"You just stay there," he said as he washed himself quickly. John raised an eyebrow but leaned against the tiled wall and watched, his cock at half mast.
Soaping up his hands, Rodney moved in, taking his time. John's skin felt good under his hands, slick and smooth in places, slightly rougher where he was more hairy. Rodney found a ticklish spot high on John's ribs and another behind his knees.
"Don't make me kick you," John said the second time, and Rodney looked up at him. John was harder now and Rodney was tempted to just kneel up a little and take that nice big cock into his mouth.
Hands only, he reminded himself. This time.
He got to his feet and rested one hand on John's hip. "Turn around."
"You know," John said, giving Rodney an odd look. "If you ever stop being bossy, we'll know you're a Replicator."
"Ha ha ha. Turn around."
John did so, and Rodney was presented with a whole new expanse of skin to touch and wash. John's back was long and slim, and Rodney took his time with it, pressing his thumbs into the knots he found. When John moaned and leaned forward against the wall, Rodney found himself facing temptation again.
"Oh, wait," he muttered. "Sometimes I forget that I'm a genius."
"I doubt that," John said as Rodney's hands moved over his ass. He tensed up a little and Rodney bit back a sigh.
Might as well have "stay the hell away from my ass" tattooed on the back of his neck.
Saying nothing, Rodney kept his touch brief and impersonal before standing out of the way and letting the shower rinse John's back off. When he leaned in close, pressing up against John's warm, wet skin, John tensed again, but Rodney just reached up and put the soap back in its dish before pumping some conditioner into his palm.
"Relax," he murmured. "Just hand jobs, remember?"
"Yeah...I...." It was possible that John was going to explain or apologize for his sudden tension, but then Rodney's slick hand closed around his dick and he shivered and went silent.
"Mmmmm," Rodney hummed, kissing and licking the back of John's neck as he slowly stroked him. He took his time here, too, enjoying the feel of John's skin as he got hard. John's breathing picked up as well, and his hips moved just a little as he tried to thrust into Rodney's hand.
Reaching down with his other hand, Rodney gripped John's hip lightly. "Stop it and let me do the work here." Instead of complaining or coming back with a snarky remark, John moaned and leaned forward a little, resting his arms against the tiles and his forehead against his forearms. Rodney shifted a little so that his own hard-on pressed against one of John's cheeks instead of the tempting cleft of his ass.
He kept his strokes slow and easy, wanting to give John something that was a lot different than a buddy helping a buddy out, or an anonymous encounter in a gay bar somewhere off base. And John seemed to appreciate it if the amount of noise he was making was any indication. He wasn't loud--Rodney would have been shocked if he had been--but his soft moans were continuous and Rodney found them more than a little distracting.
Finally, as Rodney hoped he would, John took a deep, almost hitched breath and muttered, "Rodney...c'mon."
"Yeah?" Rodney asked, but he didn't hold back or tease. Tightening his grip, he sped up a little, giving a little twist on each upstroke.
"Oh fuck...oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah," John chanted quietly, and now he was pushing into Rodney's fist and back against Rodney's cock. Rodney gritted his teeth and kept working John's dick, bringing his other hand around to give John's balls a careful fondle.
That was apparently enough; John bucked forward into Rodney's hand and came with a muffled grunt. Something about the sound sent Rodney over the edge and he came a moment later, pressed up hard against John's ass.
"Jesus fucking Christ," John muttered, still breathing hard. "I...yeah...that was...."
Rodney slid his arms up and around John's waist. "Don't feed my ego too much, there."
"Fuck you," John muttered, but he remained still for a moment before pulling away. "Are you always this articulate after sex?"
"Usually." Rodney stepped back and they both rinsed off.
"Oh, hey," John said as they toweled off. "I owe you a...." He yawned and then laughed a little. "Sorry. Was saying I owed you a hand job."
"Later," Rodney said, steering John toward the bed. He half expected John to balk, to get back into his clothes and take off, but John just yawned again and settled down. He dropped off to sleep quickly and Rodney leaned up on one elbow and watched him.
He'd seen a whole different side of John this afternoon, a side he really enjoyed seeing. And, more importantly, he'd learned a lot. As he settled in for a bit of a nap, he put himself to sleep by organizing his mental lists.
* * *
As if to make up for their afternoon off, the next week was frantic.
First the weird little cleaning machines that kept up the public spaces of Atlantis decided to go haywire, thanks to some faulty programming. At one point it was dangerous to walk certain hallways without being mobbed by Ancient roombas trying to attack your feet, and while it was kind of funny in an "only in Atlantis" sort of way, it also wreaked havoc with everyone's work.
After Rodney indulged in a fairly impressive bit of yelling at Erickson for his abysmal lack of programming skills--he later heard that Simpson had given him a 9.5 and since she was pretty much the Russian judge of the science staff, he was rather flattered--he and Radek managed to get the things reprogrammed.
He'd hoped for enough time to rest and maybe fool around with John more, but they had a scheduled mission to M98-X72, where there was supposed to be an Ancient research outpost. They never found out because it turned out that the gate was in the middle of a nesting ground for what looked like the most adorable bluebirds ever seen outside a Disney film.
Unfortunately, the birds tended to crap a lot when they were startled and, even more unfortunately, their crap was not only extremely smelly, but it was also incredibly acidic; team SGA-1 had stumbled into the gate room reeking to high heaven and with blotchy burns on their exposed skin.
John, who'd been burned on his right cheek, was ill-tempered for the few days before the blotch faded, and he stomped around the city making his Marines run extra miles and glaring at anyone who mentioned birds. Rodney was more than a little amused to discover this show of vanity on John's part, but, as he wasn't exactly stupid, kept his amusement to himself.
He also kept his distance; by the time John all but ambushed Rodney on his way from the lab to his room, it had been about ten days since they'd last had any time alone together. A little flattered by John's eagerness, Rodney just relaxed once the door shut behind them and let John do his thing. Blowjobs...well, of course, blowjobs are on all three lists, he thought as John pinned him to the wall and then slid to his knees.
And honestly, Rodney wasn't going to complain; John sucked cock like it was both his last meal and the best thing he'd ever had. As John took him in deep, Rodney panted and looked down at him. John's eyes were closed and he looked totally caught up in what he was doing; when Rodney reached down and rested his hand on John's head, John opened his eyes, looked up and nodded carefully.
Encouraged, Rodney slid his fingers through John's absurdly soft hair and tightened them just a little. John moaned and went still, his eyes still locked with Rodney's. "God," Rodney muttered as he began to move his hips. As much as he didn't like the idea of John in the back rooms of sleazy bars, he couldn't help taking advantage of the things John had learned there and he consoled himself with the knowledge that John didn't have to stay down there and let Rodney fuck his face. The fact that he did, that he moaned and looked utterly blissed out, was all the permission Rodney needed.
When Rodney came with a shout, John swallowed it all, and then, Rodney's hand still in his hair, leaned in and rested his head against Rodney's thigh, panting. "Jesus fucking Christ," Rodney gasped. "That was...are you okay?"
"Yeah," John said, his voice rough and husky. He smiled. "I'm good here." As Rodney continued to stare down at him, John's shoulder moved and Rodney heard him dealing with his gun belt.
"No, wait," Rodney said, a little more sharply than he'd intended. John looked up, his face slack for a moment. Before Rodney could say anything more, John caught his breath and let his hand fall away from his belt.
Oh, really? Rodney thought, adding it all up. I should have figured that out sooner than this.
"Go ahead and get naked," he said briskly. "I want to blow you but I want to be on the bed for it."
"Okay, yeah." John stripped off quickly and Rodney followed, taking it a little more slowly. By the time he was naked and approaching the bed, John was sprawled out on his back, his dick hard and leaking against his belly.
"Scoot up and get some pillows behind your head." As John did so, Rodney settled in between his legs and smiled. "Better get comfortable; I'm gonna be here for a while."
"Rodney," John began and then he caught his breath as Rodney bent down and nuzzled his balls. "Do that and it'll be a lot less time than a 'while,'" he said, his voice shaky.
"Yeah, I remember." Moving up a little, he licked around the head of John's dick and John groaned.
"You're doing it again."
Rodney went up on his elbows. "Doing what?"
"Dragging it out," John said with a faint pout. He shivered when Rodney licked him again.
"Want me to stop?"
"No!"
Rodney rewarded him by moving his mouth down and down and down, taking all of John's dick in with one impressive swoop. John's hips bucked just a little and he whined in the back of his throat when Rodney lifted up again. "Rodney...."
"I'm just getting started," Rodney murmured. "And keep your hips still." And then he went down on John again, determined to prove that he didn't ask John to be still because he couldn't take it, but more because he wanted John to do as he was told.
And John did, although it had to be difficult with Rodney working him over. Rodney licked and sucked and took John in deep, and after a few minutes, John's hands landed on the bed. If he could have, Rodney would have smiled at the way that John clawed at the sheet, as if he knew not to grab onto Rodney's head or shoulders. Since he couldn't smile, he rewarded John with a little fancy tongue work that had John moaning continuously.
Rodney could, he realized, get used to that sound all too quickly.
"Rodney," John groaned. "Rodney...oh fuck, oh fuck...c'mon."
Rodney lifted his head. "What? Tell me what you want, John."
And, as if he'd been waiting for the chance, John closed his eyes and opened his mouth. "Please, oh please Rodney...please, please...lemme come, please?"
Speaking of sounds I could get used to....
Rodney didn't relent right away; he circled the base of John's dick with his fingers and then went down deep again and again and then once more before he let go and swallowed around the head of John's cock. Bringing a hand up to his mouth, John covered it and then moaned as he came, the sound muffled by his hand.
"Next time," Rodney said a few moments later. "I want to hear you make more noise."
John, still panting, gave him an odd look. "Yeah," he said, a little flatly. "Next time."
* * *
Four days later, Rodney wasn't sure there was going to be a next time; John was avoiding him. They hadn't had a mission and, yes, that tended to mean they saw less of each other, but Rodney hadn't even seen John in the mess.
"Did you run with Sheppard this morning?" he asked Ronon, who scowled.
"Yeah. You two fighting?"
Rodney narrowed his eyes. "Why? What's he saying about me? And where is he anyway?"
"He's being a real dick," Ronon said.
"Joy," Rodney said, staring morosely at his corn flakes. "I'll track him down later and figure out what his deal is."
"Good." Ronon went back to his oatmeal, leaving Rodney to brood.
It was pretty obvious what the problem was, and Rodney felt like an idiot for not having anticipated it. You can't make a guy like John beg and then expect everything to carry on as normal.
Doing his best to put the matter aside, Rodney took off for his labs. He was massively unsuccessful at concentrating on much of anything and, because he believed in the trickle-down theory as it applied to his own mood, made life miserable for everyone who worked for him.
In spite of that, his day dragged.
Finally it came to an end and he headed to John's room, ignoring the chime and just barreling in.
"What the hell is your deal?"
John looked up from his book and glared at Rodney. "In case you've forgotten, McKay, the doors have chimes." As Rodney opened his mouth to remind John that the door had opened for him, John continued. "And whatever it is, I'm not in the mood."
"Okay," Rodney said and smiled at John just to put him off guard. "Never figured you for a coward, Sheppard, but why don't you look me up when you've pulled your head out of your ass."
He stomped back to his room, glowering at the security detail he passed in the hall. He'd taken a big chance and now he needed to wait to see if it was going to pay off. And while patience wasn't normally his strong suit, this--John--was worth waiting for.
And maybe even worth apologizing for, he thought as he played his fifteenth game of solitaire. If he doesn't come around tonight.... They had a mission in two days, and as Rodney started his sixteenth game, he decided that if John didn't come around before then, he'd try to figure out how you apologized for giving someone exactly what he wanted.
By the time he won game thirty-four, Rodney hadn't solved that problem and he was starting to think that he was too tired to really give it the time it needed. He was about to turn in when his door opened.
"You're right," John said, letting the door close behind him. It wasn't easy but Rodney bit back the automatic response and remained silent. John gave him a slight smile, as if he knew the sacrifice Rodney was making and then looked down at the floor. "I'm not used to...." He shrugged.
"That much is obvious," Rodney finally said, letting John off the hook. He gestured at the bed and was actually a little surprised--and encouraged--when John sat down. "Look, as much as I know you're loath to talk about things like this...I need to ask some questions."
"Can't we just...can't you just," John said and then trailed off again.
"Just?"
"Oh, this is stupid; I don't even know what to ask." John buried his head in his hands and muttered something. All Rodney caught was the word "complicated."
"I think of it more as a challenge myself," Rodney said, leaving his desk chair to sit next to John on the bed. "And when you think about it, all I've been asking of you is that you let me do you slow."
"You're asking more than that and you know it."
"Oh, yes, that's me. Forcing orgasms on you." He tilted his head and looked at John. "That's it, isn't it? Not the orgasms, but the fact that you're a control freak and you feel like I'm not letting you do anything but lie there and take it?"
"Uh, yeah, something like that."
"So what you want is to go back to supply room quickies?"
"No," John said quickly. Rodney hid his smile. "I...can't you just, you know...be upfront about it? Just...."
"Take over?" Rodney looked at John seriously. "I'm not going to pretend to force you. Not to say that that isn't a game we can play, but not now and not soon." He took a deep breath. "The thing is, you need to be upfront about it too; you've got to accept that you like what's happening here and that you consent to it."
"What is happening here?"
Rodney blinked and then frowned. "Don't be deliberately obtuse when it's painfully obvious that you're a sub."
"Uh...." John rubbed the back of his neck. "I just never...shouldn't I have figured it out by now?"
"You probably have, subconsciously at least. You give amazing blowjobs; have you always liked it when you're on your knees and someone's got their hands in your hair? Liked it when it all narrows down to a hard dick riding your mouth?"
"Jesus, Rodney!" The tip of John's ear was pink, but he was also breathing harder than he had been moments ago.
"Have you ever let anyone fuck you?" John shook his head, and Rodney had to catch his breath a little at the idea that he'd be John's first, even though he wasn't all that surprised. "But you think about it, don't you? And when you think about it, with your hand on your cock, you think about being taken, being on your knees begging for it...."
"Rodney," John muttered, shifting on the bed.
"Lean back on your hands, John."
John caught his breath and Rodney waited, not sure that John would obey. Then, with an almost invisible nod, he leaned back, his erection tenting the loose workout pants he wore.
"Good." Rodney scooted around behind him, pulling John back against his chest and resting his hands on John's. "Don't worry, I'm not going to fuck you tonight; it's too soon. I'm going to wait until you really want it, until you know you can't go another night without it." He nipped at the back of John's neck and felt John shiver.
"I won't fuck you until you're desperate enough to beg for it, until you've got your face on the bed and your ass in the air and you can hardly breathe because you need it that much."
"God...Rodney...." John's hips were twisting and he was panting.
"What do you want?"
"Touch me...please?"
"Good," Rodney murmured, letting go of John's hands. "Lift up and pull your pants down. No shorts? What a surprise." John huffed a little at that, but then he moaned just a little as Rodney put on hand on his stomach. "Talk to me."
"You must be kidding," John said, his voice down in that husky range Rodney liked so much.
Rodney moved his hand lower, his fingertips moving through the thatch of hair at the base of John's cock. "Do you think about getting fucked when you jerk off?"
"Yeah. About you...."
While it wasn't a surprise, Rodney still felt a warm little glow in his chest. He circled the base of John's cock with his fingers. "What else?"
But that was a little too much; John just shook his head and shifted his hips. "Do you want me to tell you what I think about?" Rodney asked.
"Please?"
"Here's the thing: I was going to jerk you off while listening to you, so it's only fair that you jerk yourself off while listening to me." He paused and nuzzled the back of John's neck and then let his voice get a little firmer. "Do it, John."
John licked the palm of his hand and then reached down and took his cock in hand. "Yeah, that's it," Rodney said. "Go slowly.
"I think about fucking you up against a wall," he said as John began to stroke his cock. "Like in the shower the other day when you were so afraid that I might fuck you and make you like it. I want to see you leaning forward with your legs spread wide enough that I can see my fingers go in you when I prep you."
John moaned softly and tilted his head back until it rested on Rodney's shoulder. "You can be loud," Rodney said. "In fact, I want to hear you this time."
"It's hard...habit, you know?"
"I know," Rodney said, sliding his hand up John's chest. He ran his thumb across a nipple and John gasped. "But you're safe here; no one will hear you but me.
"So where was I?" he asked, rubbing John's nipple again. "Oh, right, getting ready to fuck you. Sometimes I'll go slow and make you wait for it, watch you twist and moan, but when I've got you up against a wall, I want to do it hard and fast."
Hooking his chin over John's shoulder, Rodney watched John's hand speed up. "Don't go any faster," he said. "Now me fucking you, yeah, once I have you prepped, I'm gonna push in hard and fuck you so fast you'll feel it in the back of your throat."
He was walking a fine line here and he knew it; John had never been fucked and was, in fact, afraid of it. Given that, it might not be such a good idea to talk him through something rough. On the other hand, he had a feeling this was the kind of fantasy John had when he allowed himself to think about it and Rodney wasn't looking for reality here; he was looking to give John jerk off material.
"You're going to love it," he said, still toying with John's nipple. "You're going to brace your hands on the wall and hang your head down a little and just let me go for it, let me grab your hips and just pound into your ass. Aren't you, John?"
John, who'd been doing that incredibly hot moaning thing, sucked in a big gulp of air and managed to get out a "yeah, oh fuck yeah...."
"Louder," Rodney said into his ear. He gripped John's wrist, preventing him from moving his hand.
"Rodney...c'mon," John groaned.
Rodney grinned; John's voice was already a little louder. "Better," he said, but he didn't let go of John's wrist.
"Bastard," John said. Rodney bit his earlobe, a move that earned him a sharp gasp from John. "Rodney, please?" John said, and now Rodney really could hear him. "Please...please...please?"
"Oh, yeah," Rodney said. "You're so good," he added, releasing John's wrist. Reaching down, he slid his fingers across John's balls at the same time John started up again.
"Fuck," John grunted. "Rodney...I'm gonna...."
"No," Rodney said. "Not yet." John moaned desperately. "You can do it...just another second or two...." His hand moved just a little lower and he pressed his finger against John's hole, just a little pressure. "Now, John."
John's strangled shout was loud and his body curled in Rodney's arms as he thrust up into his hand and came hard. Rodney bit his lip and managed to keep himself from just rubbing off against John's lower back. It wasn't easy; John moaned and shivered even after he'd finished coming, and Rodney knew he could probably get away with just about anything right now.
"So, I'm guessing you hated that?" he asked as John slumped back against him.
"Jesus," John muttered, his breath still a little shaky. "I think I got it in my hair."
Rodney chuckled and leaned back to take off his shirt. John sort of slid sideways to lie on the bed and Rodney rested a hand on his hip as he undid his pants.
"Does it hurt?"
"It can," Rodney said, not bothering to pretend he didn't know what John was asking about. "But sometimes a little burn's not a bad thing." He paused. "I won't do it like that the first time."
"Oh..." John rolled onto his back. "I mean, yeah, I figured, but...."
Rodney sighed and stood up long enough to get his pants and shorts off. Sitting back down, he put his hand back on John's hip again. "Okay, I'm gonna say this once and have done with it. I am not one of the guys you fooled around with in off base bars. I'll dominate you if that's what you want; hell, I'll be as bossy as all fuck and I'll even do role play if you're interested, but I'm not going to treat you like a quick, cheap fuck or someone I'm ashamed to be with."
For a moment, during which Rodney's heart pounded in his chest, John just looked at him blankly. "Oh," John finally said with a slightly shy smile that was totally unlike his usual smirk. "Oh, okay."
"Yeah," Rodney said. He smacked John's hip lightly before reaching up and cupping his hand around the back of John's neck. "Now get down here and blow me."
* * *
Rodney wasn't thinking of anything in particular as he made his way back to his rooms after dinner. John hadn't joined him in the mess, but that wasn't anything unexpected; he'd said something about catching up on his paperwork, which meant he'd probably spent half his afternoon faffing around in his office before finally getting around to working. Rodney guessed that John would probably finish up around midnight and head to his room to get some sleep. And so it was no surprise that Rodney damn near jumped out of his skin as his door closed behind him and he caught sight of his bed.
"Holy fuck," he murmured.
John was sprawled naked on his bed, face down and with one leg bent. It was a position that showed him off well, his long back and neck gleaming in the low light, his ass presented nicely....
"I've been thinking about what you said," John said, his voice a little soft but still audible. He looked over his shoulder at Rodney. "And I think...yeah, I think I'm about where you wanted me to be."
"Oh, are you?" Rodney was proud of how level and even his voice was. He stripped off his jacket and tossed it aside and then bent to undo his shoes. "I'm not sure; it's only been a couple of months."
"I am." Rodney heard movement on the bed and when he looked up, John had brought his other knee up under himself and turned his face to the pillow. Arching his back a little to show off his ass, he went on. "I'm ready for more than just your damn fingers, Rodney. I want you to fuck me."
"Doesn't sound like begging to me," Rodney said, kicking his shoes off. He moved closer to the bed, hands on his fly. "I could just stand here and jerk off on you."
"Jesus," John said, and Rodney added yet another thing to the "what John wants to do" list.
"Please," John said, his voice getting hoarser. "Rodney, damnit, I can't think of anything else lately. It's driving me crazy."
"Oh?" Rodney reached out and ran a hand over John's ass and John pushed up into the caress. "You know what I want to hear."
"Rodney, please, please fuck me." Rodney knew that if he could see it, John's face would be beet red right now, but John wasn't whispering and he wasn't pretending that he was only doing this for Rodney's sake. "I need it...need you to fuck me." He took a deep breath and Rodney knew that whatever was coming next was something that John hoped would surprise him.
"I slicked myself up," he said, and Rodney swallowed hard. "I got three fingers up in me, just like you did the other night...felt so fucking good but not as good as it's gonna feel when you fuck me."
"Nowhere near as good," Rodney said, damn near tearing his pants in order to get them and his boxers off as soon as he could. There was a condom sitting out on the nightstand and he grabbed it, trying to keep his hands from shaking as he ripped the package open and then rolled the thing on.
"Please," John moaned. "I'm so fucking ready...want it, Rodney...need it...please, please...fuck me!"
He went silent as Rodney's fingers slid between his cheeks; never mind what John had said about prep, Rodney wasn't going to do this until he was sure John really was ready. Two fingers went in easily and he had to grab John's hip to keep him from pushing back hard.
"Please? Not your fingers...I want your dick in me. I need you to fuck me, Rodney. Need it so much, please?"
Prepped or not, John was still tight when Rodney slowly started to push his way in. His shoulders tensed for a minute and then he relaxed a little. "Okay?" Rodney asked, stroking John's hip.
"Yeah...it's kind of intense." John pushed back a little. "More? Please?"
Gritting his teeth because it would be all too easy to come right now, Rodney moved again and John moaned and moved with him. "God, Rodney, that's...yeah...oh, yeah."
Although John kept trying to make him go faster, Rodney insisted on a slow steady rhythm. "Don't rush it," he said, gripping John's hips tightly. "You should know by now that I'm just going to make you slow down and feel it."
"Rodney, oh God," John panted.
"Shhhh," Rodney said. "I've got you...."
John shuddered once and then.... Rodney could see as well as feel the moment John relaxed and gave in, his whole body going easy and pliant. "Good," he murmured. "God, John...so good."
In spite of his desire to make things good for John, it wasn't easy to keep the pace slow and steady. Now that John was accepting it, taking it so easily, moaning those moans that Rodney liked so much, all Rodney wanted to do was grab him and fuck him into next week.
He got a better idea and paused, buried deep inside John. "I'm going to sit back," he gasped. "Move with me."
"Oh, God," John muttered. "Don't know if I can take...."
"You can," Rodney said, pulling John with him as he sat up and back until John was straddling his lap. "Just like any other night, don't come until I tell you to."
"God," John said again and Rodney smiled before leaning in to nip at the back of John's neck. "Please, Rodney, don't make me wait."
He could still string a sentence together, and as much as Rodney liked that John felt comfortable talking, he wanted to hear him fall apart. "You love it," he said, thrusting up hard and steady. "You love having to wait for it, having to beg for it...."
"Rodney," John panted. "Please, this is...please...."
"That's it," Rodney said. He bit at John's shoulder and kept fucking him. "Give it to me...all of it."
And John did, his voice getting louder as he begged and groaned and moved with Rodney until they were both panting and sweating and Rodney knew he couldn't hold back too much longer. "Please," John moaned, his voice rough. "Please...please...need...Rodney, please."
Rodney moved his hand from John's sweat slick hip to his hard cock and he gave it a rough stroke. "That's it...come now, John."
The sound John made as he came hard--a rough, broken, growled out word that might have been Rodney's name--was more than enough to send Rodney right after him. He thrust up into John as John was still coming and it was so good that, for a moment, he thought he was going to black out.
He didn't, but only because he was worried about John, who was all but limp in Rodney's arms. "Nnnghhh," John groaned and Rodney relaxed just a little.
"Yeah," he panted, easing John off his lap. "What you said."
Heedless of the come all over his stomach and chest, and yeah, it looked like he'd gotten some in his hair yet again, John sprawled on his stomach. Rodney stripped off and disposed of the condom as quickly as he could, before settling down next to him, one hand in its usual position on John's hip.
"You okay?"
"Better'n okay," John said, his voice still slurred. "God, if I'd known...I'd have begged for it a long time ago."
Rodney had to chuckle at that. "Sure you would have."
"Yeah, well...." John rested quietly for a long moment and Rodney felt his own eyes beginning to close. "So," John finally murmured. "What's next?"
Rodney's eyes opened. "It just so happens," he said, squeezing John's hip, "that I have this list...."
-end-
Author: telesilla
Fandom/Pairing: SGA, John/Rodney
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 6100
Disclaimer: The SGA characters do not belong to me. Duh.
Summary: John may not know what he needs, but Rodney does.
Notes: A Sweet Charity fic for the fabulous geeklite, who has been incredibly patient with my slowness on this one. She said: "I like John a little submissive and needy." Hopefully this fits the bill. Many thanks to helens78 for yet another excellent beta.
You go through your whole life waiting
But you don't know what you're waiting for
One day you'll meet somebody
And your whole world now is an open door
Count On My Love -- Liz Phair
John Sheppard was not a talker.
This was hardly news to Rodney; he'd known the man for over two years before they finally started this thing of theirs, and John had never been a talker. Which, in a way, was fine; Rodney had once had a boyfriend who thought it was important to share his feelings on just about everything and it hadn't gone over well when Rodney had finally snapped "and you think I care because...?"
The downside was that it was really, really hard to figure out what John wanted or even what he'd done before. Somehow a laconic, mumbled, "Yeah, I've fooled around with guys a few times before, McKay," didn't give Rodney much to work with.
It was, however, not enough to stop Rodney from trying to figure John out. Being a fairly well-organized person, he made a mental list neatly divided into columns--"What John has done/What John will do/What John wants to do." He had one for himself, of course, and for a man who could play chess without a board, it wasn't that difficult to lay one list over the other and see where things matched up. He suspected each column of his would be longer than John's even if he had all of the data to complete John's.
Although Rodney liked to think of himself as an experienced man of the world, he knew that basically, he was just easy. The real question was: was John?
* * *
Well, I already knew that handjobs were on the has done/will do list, Rodney thought as John pushed him against the wall of a supply closet near the gear room and stuck a hand down his pants.
"Oh, yeah," John breathed, working Rodney's dick nice and hard.
"Wait," Rodney said, although it wasn't easy. "Stop." He put a hand on John's chest and pushed a little.
"Why?"
"Because there's a perfectly good bed two corridors and one transporter hop away."
"Okay, fine." John sounded a little surprised, which only confirmed Rodney's belief that most of John's gay experiences had been furtive, hasty things.
Well, that's about to change.
When they reached Rodney's room, he pulled his shirt off and looked over at John. "We spent a lot of time wandering around in yet another forest today and I need a shower. And so do you. Join me."
"Jeeze, McKay, all I wanted to do was jerk you off."
"Fine," Rodney said with a grin. "We'll keep to nothing but handjobs, but in the shower. It's not like we have anything else to do today." John rolled his eyes, but he also stripped off his shirt and started in on his boots, so Rodney just smiled a little and finished undressing.
One of the few luxuries in Atlantis were the showers and Rodney gave a happy sigh as the hot water pounded over them. "Dual shower heads," he said. "At least the Ancients got something right."
"Oh, yeah." John leaned back and closed his eyes, a genuine smile of pleasure on his face. For a moment, he looked relaxed and oddly young, and Rodney felt something catch in his chest. Telling himself that it was just that he appreciated John's good looks, he grabbed the soap.
"You just stay there," he said as he washed himself quickly. John raised an eyebrow but leaned against the tiled wall and watched, his cock at half mast.
Soaping up his hands, Rodney moved in, taking his time. John's skin felt good under his hands, slick and smooth in places, slightly rougher where he was more hairy. Rodney found a ticklish spot high on John's ribs and another behind his knees.
"Don't make me kick you," John said the second time, and Rodney looked up at him. John was harder now and Rodney was tempted to just kneel up a little and take that nice big cock into his mouth.
Hands only, he reminded himself. This time.
He got to his feet and rested one hand on John's hip. "Turn around."
"You know," John said, giving Rodney an odd look. "If you ever stop being bossy, we'll know you're a Replicator."
"Ha ha ha. Turn around."
John did so, and Rodney was presented with a whole new expanse of skin to touch and wash. John's back was long and slim, and Rodney took his time with it, pressing his thumbs into the knots he found. When John moaned and leaned forward against the wall, Rodney found himself facing temptation again.
"Oh, wait," he muttered. "Sometimes I forget that I'm a genius."
"I doubt that," John said as Rodney's hands moved over his ass. He tensed up a little and Rodney bit back a sigh.
Might as well have "stay the hell away from my ass" tattooed on the back of his neck.
Saying nothing, Rodney kept his touch brief and impersonal before standing out of the way and letting the shower rinse John's back off. When he leaned in close, pressing up against John's warm, wet skin, John tensed again, but Rodney just reached up and put the soap back in its dish before pumping some conditioner into his palm.
"Relax," he murmured. "Just hand jobs, remember?"
"Yeah...I...." It was possible that John was going to explain or apologize for his sudden tension, but then Rodney's slick hand closed around his dick and he shivered and went silent.
"Mmmmm," Rodney hummed, kissing and licking the back of John's neck as he slowly stroked him. He took his time here, too, enjoying the feel of John's skin as he got hard. John's breathing picked up as well, and his hips moved just a little as he tried to thrust into Rodney's hand.
Reaching down with his other hand, Rodney gripped John's hip lightly. "Stop it and let me do the work here." Instead of complaining or coming back with a snarky remark, John moaned and leaned forward a little, resting his arms against the tiles and his forehead against his forearms. Rodney shifted a little so that his own hard-on pressed against one of John's cheeks instead of the tempting cleft of his ass.
He kept his strokes slow and easy, wanting to give John something that was a lot different than a buddy helping a buddy out, or an anonymous encounter in a gay bar somewhere off base. And John seemed to appreciate it if the amount of noise he was making was any indication. He wasn't loud--Rodney would have been shocked if he had been--but his soft moans were continuous and Rodney found them more than a little distracting.
Finally, as Rodney hoped he would, John took a deep, almost hitched breath and muttered, "Rodney...c'mon."
"Yeah?" Rodney asked, but he didn't hold back or tease. Tightening his grip, he sped up a little, giving a little twist on each upstroke.
"Oh fuck...oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah," John chanted quietly, and now he was pushing into Rodney's fist and back against Rodney's cock. Rodney gritted his teeth and kept working John's dick, bringing his other hand around to give John's balls a careful fondle.
That was apparently enough; John bucked forward into Rodney's hand and came with a muffled grunt. Something about the sound sent Rodney over the edge and he came a moment later, pressed up hard against John's ass.
"Jesus fucking Christ," John muttered, still breathing hard. "I...yeah...that was...."
Rodney slid his arms up and around John's waist. "Don't feed my ego too much, there."
"Fuck you," John muttered, but he remained still for a moment before pulling away. "Are you always this articulate after sex?"
"Usually." Rodney stepped back and they both rinsed off.
"Oh, hey," John said as they toweled off. "I owe you a...." He yawned and then laughed a little. "Sorry. Was saying I owed you a hand job."
"Later," Rodney said, steering John toward the bed. He half expected John to balk, to get back into his clothes and take off, but John just yawned again and settled down. He dropped off to sleep quickly and Rodney leaned up on one elbow and watched him.
He'd seen a whole different side of John this afternoon, a side he really enjoyed seeing. And, more importantly, he'd learned a lot. As he settled in for a bit of a nap, he put himself to sleep by organizing his mental lists.
* * *
As if to make up for their afternoon off, the next week was frantic.
First the weird little cleaning machines that kept up the public spaces of Atlantis decided to go haywire, thanks to some faulty programming. At one point it was dangerous to walk certain hallways without being mobbed by Ancient roombas trying to attack your feet, and while it was kind of funny in an "only in Atlantis" sort of way, it also wreaked havoc with everyone's work.
After Rodney indulged in a fairly impressive bit of yelling at Erickson for his abysmal lack of programming skills--he later heard that Simpson had given him a 9.5 and since she was pretty much the Russian judge of the science staff, he was rather flattered--he and Radek managed to get the things reprogrammed.
He'd hoped for enough time to rest and maybe fool around with John more, but they had a scheduled mission to M98-X72, where there was supposed to be an Ancient research outpost. They never found out because it turned out that the gate was in the middle of a nesting ground for what looked like the most adorable bluebirds ever seen outside a Disney film.
Unfortunately, the birds tended to crap a lot when they were startled and, even more unfortunately, their crap was not only extremely smelly, but it was also incredibly acidic; team SGA-1 had stumbled into the gate room reeking to high heaven and with blotchy burns on their exposed skin.
John, who'd been burned on his right cheek, was ill-tempered for the few days before the blotch faded, and he stomped around the city making his Marines run extra miles and glaring at anyone who mentioned birds. Rodney was more than a little amused to discover this show of vanity on John's part, but, as he wasn't exactly stupid, kept his amusement to himself.
He also kept his distance; by the time John all but ambushed Rodney on his way from the lab to his room, it had been about ten days since they'd last had any time alone together. A little flattered by John's eagerness, Rodney just relaxed once the door shut behind them and let John do his thing. Blowjobs...well, of course, blowjobs are on all three lists, he thought as John pinned him to the wall and then slid to his knees.
And honestly, Rodney wasn't going to complain; John sucked cock like it was both his last meal and the best thing he'd ever had. As John took him in deep, Rodney panted and looked down at him. John's eyes were closed and he looked totally caught up in what he was doing; when Rodney reached down and rested his hand on John's head, John opened his eyes, looked up and nodded carefully.
Encouraged, Rodney slid his fingers through John's absurdly soft hair and tightened them just a little. John moaned and went still, his eyes still locked with Rodney's. "God," Rodney muttered as he began to move his hips. As much as he didn't like the idea of John in the back rooms of sleazy bars, he couldn't help taking advantage of the things John had learned there and he consoled himself with the knowledge that John didn't have to stay down there and let Rodney fuck his face. The fact that he did, that he moaned and looked utterly blissed out, was all the permission Rodney needed.
When Rodney came with a shout, John swallowed it all, and then, Rodney's hand still in his hair, leaned in and rested his head against Rodney's thigh, panting. "Jesus fucking Christ," Rodney gasped. "That was...are you okay?"
"Yeah," John said, his voice rough and husky. He smiled. "I'm good here." As Rodney continued to stare down at him, John's shoulder moved and Rodney heard him dealing with his gun belt.
"No, wait," Rodney said, a little more sharply than he'd intended. John looked up, his face slack for a moment. Before Rodney could say anything more, John caught his breath and let his hand fall away from his belt.
Oh, really? Rodney thought, adding it all up. I should have figured that out sooner than this.
"Go ahead and get naked," he said briskly. "I want to blow you but I want to be on the bed for it."
"Okay, yeah." John stripped off quickly and Rodney followed, taking it a little more slowly. By the time he was naked and approaching the bed, John was sprawled out on his back, his dick hard and leaking against his belly.
"Scoot up and get some pillows behind your head." As John did so, Rodney settled in between his legs and smiled. "Better get comfortable; I'm gonna be here for a while."
"Rodney," John began and then he caught his breath as Rodney bent down and nuzzled his balls. "Do that and it'll be a lot less time than a 'while,'" he said, his voice shaky.
"Yeah, I remember." Moving up a little, he licked around the head of John's dick and John groaned.
"You're doing it again."
Rodney went up on his elbows. "Doing what?"
"Dragging it out," John said with a faint pout. He shivered when Rodney licked him again.
"Want me to stop?"
"No!"
Rodney rewarded him by moving his mouth down and down and down, taking all of John's dick in with one impressive swoop. John's hips bucked just a little and he whined in the back of his throat when Rodney lifted up again. "Rodney...."
"I'm just getting started," Rodney murmured. "And keep your hips still." And then he went down on John again, determined to prove that he didn't ask John to be still because he couldn't take it, but more because he wanted John to do as he was told.
And John did, although it had to be difficult with Rodney working him over. Rodney licked and sucked and took John in deep, and after a few minutes, John's hands landed on the bed. If he could have, Rodney would have smiled at the way that John clawed at the sheet, as if he knew not to grab onto Rodney's head or shoulders. Since he couldn't smile, he rewarded John with a little fancy tongue work that had John moaning continuously.
Rodney could, he realized, get used to that sound all too quickly.
"Rodney," John groaned. "Rodney...oh fuck, oh fuck...c'mon."
Rodney lifted his head. "What? Tell me what you want, John."
And, as if he'd been waiting for the chance, John closed his eyes and opened his mouth. "Please, oh please Rodney...please, please...lemme come, please?"
Speaking of sounds I could get used to....
Rodney didn't relent right away; he circled the base of John's dick with his fingers and then went down deep again and again and then once more before he let go and swallowed around the head of John's cock. Bringing a hand up to his mouth, John covered it and then moaned as he came, the sound muffled by his hand.
"Next time," Rodney said a few moments later. "I want to hear you make more noise."
John, still panting, gave him an odd look. "Yeah," he said, a little flatly. "Next time."
* * *
Four days later, Rodney wasn't sure there was going to be a next time; John was avoiding him. They hadn't had a mission and, yes, that tended to mean they saw less of each other, but Rodney hadn't even seen John in the mess.
"Did you run with Sheppard this morning?" he asked Ronon, who scowled.
"Yeah. You two fighting?"
Rodney narrowed his eyes. "Why? What's he saying about me? And where is he anyway?"
"He's being a real dick," Ronon said.
"Joy," Rodney said, staring morosely at his corn flakes. "I'll track him down later and figure out what his deal is."
"Good." Ronon went back to his oatmeal, leaving Rodney to brood.
It was pretty obvious what the problem was, and Rodney felt like an idiot for not having anticipated it. You can't make a guy like John beg and then expect everything to carry on as normal.
Doing his best to put the matter aside, Rodney took off for his labs. He was massively unsuccessful at concentrating on much of anything and, because he believed in the trickle-down theory as it applied to his own mood, made life miserable for everyone who worked for him.
In spite of that, his day dragged.
Finally it came to an end and he headed to John's room, ignoring the chime and just barreling in.
"What the hell is your deal?"
John looked up from his book and glared at Rodney. "In case you've forgotten, McKay, the doors have chimes." As Rodney opened his mouth to remind John that the door had opened for him, John continued. "And whatever it is, I'm not in the mood."
"Okay," Rodney said and smiled at John just to put him off guard. "Never figured you for a coward, Sheppard, but why don't you look me up when you've pulled your head out of your ass."
He stomped back to his room, glowering at the security detail he passed in the hall. He'd taken a big chance and now he needed to wait to see if it was going to pay off. And while patience wasn't normally his strong suit, this--John--was worth waiting for.
And maybe even worth apologizing for, he thought as he played his fifteenth game of solitaire. If he doesn't come around tonight.... They had a mission in two days, and as Rodney started his sixteenth game, he decided that if John didn't come around before then, he'd try to figure out how you apologized for giving someone exactly what he wanted.
By the time he won game thirty-four, Rodney hadn't solved that problem and he was starting to think that he was too tired to really give it the time it needed. He was about to turn in when his door opened.
"You're right," John said, letting the door close behind him. It wasn't easy but Rodney bit back the automatic response and remained silent. John gave him a slight smile, as if he knew the sacrifice Rodney was making and then looked down at the floor. "I'm not used to...." He shrugged.
"That much is obvious," Rodney finally said, letting John off the hook. He gestured at the bed and was actually a little surprised--and encouraged--when John sat down. "Look, as much as I know you're loath to talk about things like this...I need to ask some questions."
"Can't we just...can't you just," John said and then trailed off again.
"Just?"
"Oh, this is stupid; I don't even know what to ask." John buried his head in his hands and muttered something. All Rodney caught was the word "complicated."
"I think of it more as a challenge myself," Rodney said, leaving his desk chair to sit next to John on the bed. "And when you think about it, all I've been asking of you is that you let me do you slow."
"You're asking more than that and you know it."
"Oh, yes, that's me. Forcing orgasms on you." He tilted his head and looked at John. "That's it, isn't it? Not the orgasms, but the fact that you're a control freak and you feel like I'm not letting you do anything but lie there and take it?"
"Uh, yeah, something like that."
"So what you want is to go back to supply room quickies?"
"No," John said quickly. Rodney hid his smile. "I...can't you just, you know...be upfront about it? Just...."
"Take over?" Rodney looked at John seriously. "I'm not going to pretend to force you. Not to say that that isn't a game we can play, but not now and not soon." He took a deep breath. "The thing is, you need to be upfront about it too; you've got to accept that you like what's happening here and that you consent to it."
"What is happening here?"
Rodney blinked and then frowned. "Don't be deliberately obtuse when it's painfully obvious that you're a sub."
"Uh...." John rubbed the back of his neck. "I just never...shouldn't I have figured it out by now?"
"You probably have, subconsciously at least. You give amazing blowjobs; have you always liked it when you're on your knees and someone's got their hands in your hair? Liked it when it all narrows down to a hard dick riding your mouth?"
"Jesus, Rodney!" The tip of John's ear was pink, but he was also breathing harder than he had been moments ago.
"Have you ever let anyone fuck you?" John shook his head, and Rodney had to catch his breath a little at the idea that he'd be John's first, even though he wasn't all that surprised. "But you think about it, don't you? And when you think about it, with your hand on your cock, you think about being taken, being on your knees begging for it...."
"Rodney," John muttered, shifting on the bed.
"Lean back on your hands, John."
John caught his breath and Rodney waited, not sure that John would obey. Then, with an almost invisible nod, he leaned back, his erection tenting the loose workout pants he wore.
"Good." Rodney scooted around behind him, pulling John back against his chest and resting his hands on John's. "Don't worry, I'm not going to fuck you tonight; it's too soon. I'm going to wait until you really want it, until you know you can't go another night without it." He nipped at the back of John's neck and felt John shiver.
"I won't fuck you until you're desperate enough to beg for it, until you've got your face on the bed and your ass in the air and you can hardly breathe because you need it that much."
"God...Rodney...." John's hips were twisting and he was panting.
"What do you want?"
"Touch me...please?"
"Good," Rodney murmured, letting go of John's hands. "Lift up and pull your pants down. No shorts? What a surprise." John huffed a little at that, but then he moaned just a little as Rodney put on hand on his stomach. "Talk to me."
"You must be kidding," John said, his voice down in that husky range Rodney liked so much.
Rodney moved his hand lower, his fingertips moving through the thatch of hair at the base of John's cock. "Do you think about getting fucked when you jerk off?"
"Yeah. About you...."
While it wasn't a surprise, Rodney still felt a warm little glow in his chest. He circled the base of John's cock with his fingers. "What else?"
But that was a little too much; John just shook his head and shifted his hips. "Do you want me to tell you what I think about?" Rodney asked.
"Please?"
"Here's the thing: I was going to jerk you off while listening to you, so it's only fair that you jerk yourself off while listening to me." He paused and nuzzled the back of John's neck and then let his voice get a little firmer. "Do it, John."
John licked the palm of his hand and then reached down and took his cock in hand. "Yeah, that's it," Rodney said. "Go slowly.
"I think about fucking you up against a wall," he said as John began to stroke his cock. "Like in the shower the other day when you were so afraid that I might fuck you and make you like it. I want to see you leaning forward with your legs spread wide enough that I can see my fingers go in you when I prep you."
John moaned softly and tilted his head back until it rested on Rodney's shoulder. "You can be loud," Rodney said. "In fact, I want to hear you this time."
"It's hard...habit, you know?"
"I know," Rodney said, sliding his hand up John's chest. He ran his thumb across a nipple and John gasped. "But you're safe here; no one will hear you but me.
"So where was I?" he asked, rubbing John's nipple again. "Oh, right, getting ready to fuck you. Sometimes I'll go slow and make you wait for it, watch you twist and moan, but when I've got you up against a wall, I want to do it hard and fast."
Hooking his chin over John's shoulder, Rodney watched John's hand speed up. "Don't go any faster," he said. "Now me fucking you, yeah, once I have you prepped, I'm gonna push in hard and fuck you so fast you'll feel it in the back of your throat."
He was walking a fine line here and he knew it; John had never been fucked and was, in fact, afraid of it. Given that, it might not be such a good idea to talk him through something rough. On the other hand, he had a feeling this was the kind of fantasy John had when he allowed himself to think about it and Rodney wasn't looking for reality here; he was looking to give John jerk off material.
"You're going to love it," he said, still toying with John's nipple. "You're going to brace your hands on the wall and hang your head down a little and just let me go for it, let me grab your hips and just pound into your ass. Aren't you, John?"
John, who'd been doing that incredibly hot moaning thing, sucked in a big gulp of air and managed to get out a "yeah, oh fuck yeah...."
"Louder," Rodney said into his ear. He gripped John's wrist, preventing him from moving his hand.
"Rodney...c'mon," John groaned.
Rodney grinned; John's voice was already a little louder. "Better," he said, but he didn't let go of John's wrist.
"Bastard," John said. Rodney bit his earlobe, a move that earned him a sharp gasp from John. "Rodney, please?" John said, and now Rodney really could hear him. "Please...please...please?"
"Oh, yeah," Rodney said. "You're so good," he added, releasing John's wrist. Reaching down, he slid his fingers across John's balls at the same time John started up again.
"Fuck," John grunted. "Rodney...I'm gonna...."
"No," Rodney said. "Not yet." John moaned desperately. "You can do it...just another second or two...." His hand moved just a little lower and he pressed his finger against John's hole, just a little pressure. "Now, John."
John's strangled shout was loud and his body curled in Rodney's arms as he thrust up into his hand and came hard. Rodney bit his lip and managed to keep himself from just rubbing off against John's lower back. It wasn't easy; John moaned and shivered even after he'd finished coming, and Rodney knew he could probably get away with just about anything right now.
"So, I'm guessing you hated that?" he asked as John slumped back against him.
"Jesus," John muttered, his breath still a little shaky. "I think I got it in my hair."
Rodney chuckled and leaned back to take off his shirt. John sort of slid sideways to lie on the bed and Rodney rested a hand on his hip as he undid his pants.
"Does it hurt?"
"It can," Rodney said, not bothering to pretend he didn't know what John was asking about. "But sometimes a little burn's not a bad thing." He paused. "I won't do it like that the first time."
"Oh..." John rolled onto his back. "I mean, yeah, I figured, but...."
Rodney sighed and stood up long enough to get his pants and shorts off. Sitting back down, he put his hand back on John's hip again. "Okay, I'm gonna say this once and have done with it. I am not one of the guys you fooled around with in off base bars. I'll dominate you if that's what you want; hell, I'll be as bossy as all fuck and I'll even do role play if you're interested, but I'm not going to treat you like a quick, cheap fuck or someone I'm ashamed to be with."
For a moment, during which Rodney's heart pounded in his chest, John just looked at him blankly. "Oh," John finally said with a slightly shy smile that was totally unlike his usual smirk. "Oh, okay."
"Yeah," Rodney said. He smacked John's hip lightly before reaching up and cupping his hand around the back of John's neck. "Now get down here and blow me."
* * *
Rodney wasn't thinking of anything in particular as he made his way back to his rooms after dinner. John hadn't joined him in the mess, but that wasn't anything unexpected; he'd said something about catching up on his paperwork, which meant he'd probably spent half his afternoon faffing around in his office before finally getting around to working. Rodney guessed that John would probably finish up around midnight and head to his room to get some sleep. And so it was no surprise that Rodney damn near jumped out of his skin as his door closed behind him and he caught sight of his bed.
"Holy fuck," he murmured.
John was sprawled naked on his bed, face down and with one leg bent. It was a position that showed him off well, his long back and neck gleaming in the low light, his ass presented nicely....
"I've been thinking about what you said," John said, his voice a little soft but still audible. He looked over his shoulder at Rodney. "And I think...yeah, I think I'm about where you wanted me to be."
"Oh, are you?" Rodney was proud of how level and even his voice was. He stripped off his jacket and tossed it aside and then bent to undo his shoes. "I'm not sure; it's only been a couple of months."
"I am." Rodney heard movement on the bed and when he looked up, John had brought his other knee up under himself and turned his face to the pillow. Arching his back a little to show off his ass, he went on. "I'm ready for more than just your damn fingers, Rodney. I want you to fuck me."
"Doesn't sound like begging to me," Rodney said, kicking his shoes off. He moved closer to the bed, hands on his fly. "I could just stand here and jerk off on you."
"Jesus," John said, and Rodney added yet another thing to the "what John wants to do" list.
"Please," John said, his voice getting hoarser. "Rodney, damnit, I can't think of anything else lately. It's driving me crazy."
"Oh?" Rodney reached out and ran a hand over John's ass and John pushed up into the caress. "You know what I want to hear."
"Rodney, please, please fuck me." Rodney knew that if he could see it, John's face would be beet red right now, but John wasn't whispering and he wasn't pretending that he was only doing this for Rodney's sake. "I need it...need you to fuck me." He took a deep breath and Rodney knew that whatever was coming next was something that John hoped would surprise him.
"I slicked myself up," he said, and Rodney swallowed hard. "I got three fingers up in me, just like you did the other night...felt so fucking good but not as good as it's gonna feel when you fuck me."
"Nowhere near as good," Rodney said, damn near tearing his pants in order to get them and his boxers off as soon as he could. There was a condom sitting out on the nightstand and he grabbed it, trying to keep his hands from shaking as he ripped the package open and then rolled the thing on.
"Please," John moaned. "I'm so fucking ready...want it, Rodney...need it...please, please...fuck me!"
He went silent as Rodney's fingers slid between his cheeks; never mind what John had said about prep, Rodney wasn't going to do this until he was sure John really was ready. Two fingers went in easily and he had to grab John's hip to keep him from pushing back hard.
"Please? Not your fingers...I want your dick in me. I need you to fuck me, Rodney. Need it so much, please?"
Prepped or not, John was still tight when Rodney slowly started to push his way in. His shoulders tensed for a minute and then he relaxed a little. "Okay?" Rodney asked, stroking John's hip.
"Yeah...it's kind of intense." John pushed back a little. "More? Please?"
Gritting his teeth because it would be all too easy to come right now, Rodney moved again and John moaned and moved with him. "God, Rodney, that's...yeah...oh, yeah."
Although John kept trying to make him go faster, Rodney insisted on a slow steady rhythm. "Don't rush it," he said, gripping John's hips tightly. "You should know by now that I'm just going to make you slow down and feel it."
"Rodney, oh God," John panted.
"Shhhh," Rodney said. "I've got you...."
John shuddered once and then.... Rodney could see as well as feel the moment John relaxed and gave in, his whole body going easy and pliant. "Good," he murmured. "God, John...so good."
In spite of his desire to make things good for John, it wasn't easy to keep the pace slow and steady. Now that John was accepting it, taking it so easily, moaning those moans that Rodney liked so much, all Rodney wanted to do was grab him and fuck him into next week.
He got a better idea and paused, buried deep inside John. "I'm going to sit back," he gasped. "Move with me."
"Oh, God," John muttered. "Don't know if I can take...."
"You can," Rodney said, pulling John with him as he sat up and back until John was straddling his lap. "Just like any other night, don't come until I tell you to."
"God," John said again and Rodney smiled before leaning in to nip at the back of John's neck. "Please, Rodney, don't make me wait."
He could still string a sentence together, and as much as Rodney liked that John felt comfortable talking, he wanted to hear him fall apart. "You love it," he said, thrusting up hard and steady. "You love having to wait for it, having to beg for it...."
"Rodney," John panted. "Please, this is...please...."
"That's it," Rodney said. He bit at John's shoulder and kept fucking him. "Give it to me...all of it."
And John did, his voice getting louder as he begged and groaned and moved with Rodney until they were both panting and sweating and Rodney knew he couldn't hold back too much longer. "Please," John moaned, his voice rough. "Please...please...need...Rodney, please."
Rodney moved his hand from John's sweat slick hip to his hard cock and he gave it a rough stroke. "That's it...come now, John."
The sound John made as he came hard--a rough, broken, growled out word that might have been Rodney's name--was more than enough to send Rodney right after him. He thrust up into John as John was still coming and it was so good that, for a moment, he thought he was going to black out.
He didn't, but only because he was worried about John, who was all but limp in Rodney's arms. "Nnnghhh," John groaned and Rodney relaxed just a little.
"Yeah," he panted, easing John off his lap. "What you said."
Heedless of the come all over his stomach and chest, and yeah, it looked like he'd gotten some in his hair yet again, John sprawled on his stomach. Rodney stripped off and disposed of the condom as quickly as he could, before settling down next to him, one hand in its usual position on John's hip.
"You okay?"
"Better'n okay," John said, his voice still slurred. "God, if I'd known...I'd have begged for it a long time ago."
Rodney had to chuckle at that. "Sure you would have."
"Yeah, well...." John rested quietly for a long moment and Rodney felt his own eyes beginning to close. "So," John finally murmured. "What's next?"
Rodney's eyes opened. "It just so happens," he said, squeezing John's hip, "that I have this list...."
-end-