three dot journaling
I'm trying to stave off a migraine and it's kind of weird, because all of a sudden I have two choices in meds but I supposedly can't take both in the same 24 hour period. There's the over-the-counter stuff (acetaminophen, aspirin and caffeine) and then there's the per scription stuff (acetaminophen, muscle relaxant and mild sedative). And of course, too much acetaminophen is hell on your liver, even if you have, as I do, a liver of steel. I think what I need to do is make sure that I always have some diet-whayhaveyou--nadab's term for diet cola, because she, like me, isn't a brand fanatic--on hand, because I suspect that that's the part that really works for me.
* * *
I'm also typing one-handed at the moment and am finding it to be really frustrating. It's not for any perverted reason or because I hurt myself, but rather because Teh Belleh plopped down next to me and demanded petting. He rolls over on his back and then, when I rest my forearm on his tum and scritch around his chest and neck, rolls sideways a little, totally trapping my arm. It's painfully cute and I really need to get darkrosetiger to snap a pic sometime.
And now he's buggered off, which is just as well as my shoulder and neck were feeling the strain.
* * *
Speaking of things that would make you type one handed, I ended up coming up with yet another euphemism for wanking the other night. We're in a bit of a Neverwinter Nights phase around here and I was playing a wizard whose familiar is a pixie, chosen because pixies can disarm traps and unlock things. One of the interactions you can do with your familiar is to pet it. Sometimes it coos--which is pretty funny if your familiar is a hell hound--and sometimes you hit a ticklish spot and it giggles and squirms away. So for some reason I said something about "tickling my pixie" and realized just how obscene that sounded. "When correctly viewed/everything is lewd."
* * *
Burning Man is on and every year I get this little jolt when I read about it. I've never been, although The Viscount--my ex-husband--started going after we split and had a blast. He may still be going for all I know. But the jolt has nothing to do with him and everything to do with the fact that the idea appeals to me on a lot of levels.
Yes I know that it's a bunch of latter-day hippies, half of whom probably have fairly mundane jobs back home, and pretentious performance artists. Here in NoCal it's easy, and fairly common, to sneer about Burning Man and its earnestness and the way it's pretty damn white and oh-so-PC and so on. And yet...there's something about it that you see in the eyes and read in the words of people who have been that speaks to me, something about anarchy and the intersection of art and life and tribal living and renewal and modern rituals for a society painfully lacking in them. People talk about using it both to let go of their inhibitions and the burdens of those mundane jobs, and to recharge their spiritual/emotional/artistic batteries. And I could use something like that once a year; I really could.
On the other hand, it also means camping in the late summer in the Nevada desert with no running water or anything even vaguely resembling mod cons. It's massive winds and sandstorms--*in MST3K mode* Deep Huuuurting-- and heat and tent camping and porta-potties, and frankly, I'm a fat, massively out-of-shape, very pale, 43 year old woman with sinus and migraine issues. I'd have to freaking train for it and while that might not be a bad thing for me, there's also the whole money factor--basically, I'd have to spend all of my birthday money and then some--and the fact that, even if I weren't so fat and out-of-shape, I'd still have the sinus and migraine issues and be pale enough that no matter how much sunscreen I used, I'd miss a spot and get painfully burned. I'd probably be laid up for a week afterward. And finally, I'd have to either go it alone, or find like minded friends to go with because Nancy? Doesn't do things involving tents and no showers or indoor plumbing. Not to mention that sandstorms--Deeeeep Huuuurting--are damn dangerous for people with asthma.
I'll undoubtedly never go and for the most part, I'm OK with that. But a part of me, maybe the part I draw on when I write Viggo as a wild hippie/artist type, really wants to go at least once in my life.
* * *
The ETA on my post of the pic of Viggo and Elana last night was brought about by running into a very ugly bit of Kate bashing in comments to a post made elsewhere by someone else. And yes, I know, how coy of me, but tough, deal with it. Every time I run into something like that, it infuriates me. I've often said that everyone in fandom has it in them to be wanky; there's always something you feel strongly enough about that you fling yourself into the argument/debate/discussion with angry passion, not caring if it makes you come off as a total wanker. Girlfriend bashing is one of those things for me.
There's a lot mixed up in it. Primarily there's the fact that it embodies one of the major things the anti-RPS crowd holds against those of us who do write RPS: that we supposedly can't tell the difference between our fiction and reality. Plus there's the whole issue of how it smacks of jealousy where the person is hating on Kate or Evi or Pam or Georgina or whoever because they want to be in her place, and that's so foreign to me that I really don't get it. I mean really, see above where I describe myself. Whoever the media object de lust is at the moment, I know one thing for sure about him: he's not going to sleep with me. And frankly, while I'd love to sit and chat with most of these people; I don't WANT to sleep with them, a sentiment that goes above and beyond the whole icky boy parts issue and into the place where I like my fantasies to remain where they are: in my head.
And finally, while I don't always buy into the "we're all women and all sisters and I must love every last female on the planet" thing, I really feel weird and uncomfortable when I see that kind of concentrated hatred aimed at a woman by another woman. It's one thing to do the Go Fug thing and mock her clothes if she wears something hid ious, or to say that she's not much of an actress, or even admit that your evil fantasy about Kate B is to tie her down and force her to eat fettucine Alfredo with tiramsu for afters. It's another to spend huge amounts of energy hating--with a real, genuine hatered--on her simply because she's the girlfriend/spouse of your favorite actor.
So yeah, I got pretty upset last night/this morning. I'd like to apologize to flawench for coming down on her comment like a bag of rocks; I can usually guess when people I know are being facetious, not so much with people I don't know as well. So sorry about that, buttons were pushed.
* * *
The RAM situation with my computer has finally been dealt with; I have a gig now, and so far--*crosses fingers*--it's all good. I actually don't notice the difference, but then I haven't been playing any games that are new enough where I would notice the difference. I probably will if we end up getting NWN 2 this winter or maybe when I load up Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind that my former housemate loaned me. I'm at the bare minimum for Oblivion but I want to see if I like the set up in the third one before I go paying for the fourth. I was looking at Sacred, which is an older RPG and therefore affordable, but then padawanhilary had all kinds of issues with it and so I'm not sure if I'll pick it up or not.
Occasionally, I worry because while I love the gaming, it cuts horribly into my writing time. But then I realize that when I need to write, the games sit there collecting dust, so there you have it.
* * *
After finally winning one in Atlanta last night, the Giants lost to the Cubs this afternoon, which is kind of insulting when you get right down to it. I mean, come on, the Cubs? Everyone is doing a good job of pretending that we have a shot at the playoffs, but really? I'm not so sure. I love my team a lot, but they haven't been playing very well this year and I don't really think they're playoff material. I'll be more than happy to dine on crow if I'm wrong. Whatever my feelings about their chances this year, I am bound and determined to see a live game next year. I have yet to go to AT&T Park and I really need to, as it's a beautiful park regardless of the dumbass corporate name.
* * *
I kind of hate to admit it, because so many people are grumpy about LJ changes, but I actually rather like the Horizon site navigation scheme. I think it's user friendly and not unattractive as that sort of thing goes.
* * *
My LotR New EEs shipped today. Pisses me off seeing as this is Friday and they came out on Tuesday and I ordered them three weeks ago. The savings was excellent, plus there was an Amazon gift cert involved, but the lateness annoys me. When I ordered the RotK EE a few years ago, it was on my doorstep the same day it appeared in the stores. I figure if you preorder, they should do that. At the very least, it should ship on the release date and not three days later. With Monday being a holiday, that means it's coming Tuesday at the earliest. *grumbles*
ETA: I still have three Vox invites if anyone wants one.
* * *
I'm also typing one-handed at the moment and am finding it to be really frustrating. It's not for any perverted reason or because I hurt myself, but rather because Teh Belleh plopped down next to me and demanded petting. He rolls over on his back and then, when I rest my forearm on his tum and scritch around his chest and neck, rolls sideways a little, totally trapping my arm. It's painfully cute and I really need to get darkrosetiger to snap a pic sometime.
And now he's buggered off, which is just as well as my shoulder and neck were feeling the strain.
* * *
Speaking of things that would make you type one handed, I ended up coming up with yet another euphemism for wanking the other night. We're in a bit of a Neverwinter Nights phase around here and I was playing a wizard whose familiar is a pixie, chosen because pixies can disarm traps and unlock things. One of the interactions you can do with your familiar is to pet it. Sometimes it coos--which is pretty funny if your familiar is a hell hound--and sometimes you hit a ticklish spot and it giggles and squirms away. So for some reason I said something about "tickling my pixie" and realized just how obscene that sounded. "When correctly viewed/everything is lewd."
* * *
Burning Man is on and every year I get this little jolt when I read about it. I've never been, although The Viscount--my ex-husband--started going after we split and had a blast. He may still be going for all I know. But the jolt has nothing to do with him and everything to do with the fact that the idea appeals to me on a lot of levels.
Yes I know that it's a bunch of latter-day hippies, half of whom probably have fairly mundane jobs back home, and pretentious performance artists. Here in NoCal it's easy, and fairly common, to sneer about Burning Man and its earnestness and the way it's pretty damn white and oh-so-PC and so on. And yet...there's something about it that you see in the eyes and read in the words of people who have been that speaks to me, something about anarchy and the intersection of art and life and tribal living and renewal and modern rituals for a society painfully lacking in them. People talk about using it both to let go of their inhibitions and the burdens of those mundane jobs, and to recharge their spiritual/emotional/artistic batteries. And I could use something like that once a year; I really could.
On the other hand, it also means camping in the late summer in the Nevada desert with no running water or anything even vaguely resembling mod cons. It's massive winds and sandstorms--*in MST3K mode* Deep Huuuurting-- and heat and tent camping and porta-potties, and frankly, I'm a fat, massively out-of-shape, very pale, 43 year old woman with sinus and migraine issues. I'd have to freaking train for it and while that might not be a bad thing for me, there's also the whole money factor--basically, I'd have to spend all of my birthday money and then some--and the fact that, even if I weren't so fat and out-of-shape, I'd still have the sinus and migraine issues and be pale enough that no matter how much sunscreen I used, I'd miss a spot and get painfully burned. I'd probably be laid up for a week afterward. And finally, I'd have to either go it alone, or find like minded friends to go with because Nancy? Doesn't do things involving tents and no showers or indoor plumbing. Not to mention that sandstorms--Deeeeep Huuuurting--are damn dangerous for people with asthma.
I'll undoubtedly never go and for the most part, I'm OK with that. But a part of me, maybe the part I draw on when I write Viggo as a wild hippie/artist type, really wants to go at least once in my life.
* * *
The ETA on my post of the pic of Viggo and Elana last night was brought about by running into a very ugly bit of Kate bashing in comments to a post made elsewhere by someone else. And yes, I know, how coy of me, but tough, deal with it. Every time I run into something like that, it infuriates me. I've often said that everyone in fandom has it in them to be wanky; there's always something you feel strongly enough about that you fling yourself into the argument/debate/discussion with angry passion, not caring if it makes you come off as a total wanker. Girlfriend bashing is one of those things for me.
There's a lot mixed up in it. Primarily there's the fact that it embodies one of the major things the anti-RPS crowd holds against those of us who do write RPS: that we supposedly can't tell the difference between our fiction and reality. Plus there's the whole issue of how it smacks of jealousy where the person is hating on Kate or Evi or Pam or Georgina or whoever because they want to be in her place, and that's so foreign to me that I really don't get it. I mean really, see above where I describe myself. Whoever the media object de lust is at the moment, I know one thing for sure about him: he's not going to sleep with me. And frankly, while I'd love to sit and chat with most of these people; I don't WANT to sleep with them, a sentiment that goes above and beyond the whole icky boy parts issue and into the place where I like my fantasies to remain where they are: in my head.
And finally, while I don't always buy into the "we're all women and all sisters and I must love every last female on the planet" thing, I really feel weird and uncomfortable when I see that kind of concentrated hatred aimed at a woman by another woman. It's one thing to do the Go Fug thing and mock her clothes if she wears something hid ious, or to say that she's not much of an actress, or even admit that your evil fantasy about Kate B is to tie her down and force her to eat fettucine Alfredo with tiramsu for afters. It's another to spend huge amounts of energy hating--with a real, genuine hatered--on her simply because she's the girlfriend/spouse of your favorite actor.
So yeah, I got pretty upset last night/this morning. I'd like to apologize to flawench for coming down on her comment like a bag of rocks; I can usually guess when people I know are being facetious, not so much with people I don't know as well. So sorry about that, buttons were pushed.
* * *
The RAM situation with my computer has finally been dealt with; I have a gig now, and so far--*crosses fingers*--it's all good. I actually don't notice the difference, but then I haven't been playing any games that are new enough where I would notice the difference. I probably will if we end up getting NWN 2 this winter or maybe when I load up Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind that my former housemate loaned me. I'm at the bare minimum for Oblivion but I want to see if I like the set up in the third one before I go paying for the fourth. I was looking at Sacred, which is an older RPG and therefore affordable, but then padawanhilary had all kinds of issues with it and so I'm not sure if I'll pick it up or not.
Occasionally, I worry because while I love the gaming, it cuts horribly into my writing time. But then I realize that when I need to write, the games sit there collecting dust, so there you have it.
* * *
After finally winning one in Atlanta last night, the Giants lost to the Cubs this afternoon, which is kind of insulting when you get right down to it. I mean, come on, the Cubs? Everyone is doing a good job of pretending that we have a shot at the playoffs, but really? I'm not so sure. I love my team a lot, but they haven't been playing very well this year and I don't really think they're playoff material. I'll be more than happy to dine on crow if I'm wrong. Whatever my feelings about their chances this year, I am bound and determined to see a live game next year. I have yet to go to AT&T Park and I really need to, as it's a beautiful park regardless of the dumbass corporate name.
* * *
I kind of hate to admit it, because so many people are grumpy about LJ changes, but I actually rather like the Horizon site navigation scheme. I think it's user friendly and not unattractive as that sort of thing goes.
* * *
My LotR New EEs shipped today. Pisses me off seeing as this is Friday and they came out on Tuesday and I ordered them three weeks ago. The savings was excellent, plus there was an Amazon gift cert involved, but the lateness annoys me. When I ordered the RotK EE a few years ago, it was on my doorstep the same day it appeared in the stores. I figure if you preorder, they should do that. At the very least, it should ship on the release date and not three days later. With Monday being a holiday, that means it's coming Tuesday at the earliest. *grumbles*
ETA: I still have three Vox invites if anyone wants one.