D.E.Y.T
my body is burned out. my mind is on its way. my temper is getting worse. my patience has worn out. my tolerance is obsolete. my dedication is gone. my comments are more hostile than ever. i am not understanding or merciful with any situation. i've let down one of the only people i care about.
i'm sorrounded by so many people, but have never felt so alone.
i want to beat everything thats around me and at the same time just fall to the floor in tears.
i want to be reliable, but everything i do goes to shit.
ive surprised myself as to how dumb i can really be.
every little " you're useless" has this ring of honesty to it that is inescapable.
today was my first day of work, and what was i doing? well, not going.<---and this is the least of my worries.
i wish it was 2001 again. as i am now, but 2001. i dont think anyone understands what im thinking or ever will.
everytime i open my mouth im verbally attacked by a close friend, and seriously its getting to me. im just about ready to crack.its been years, but i feel it.
yes im human and im emo. get the fuck over it.
i really have to grow out of the state of mind that im made of stone and i can make everything slide off.
i cant go to anyone who wont judge me, lecture me, or ignore me.
i want saturday to come faster. i want to drink everything away and feel numb and not have a single solitary worry constantly popping up in my mind.
and i dont anyone to agree with me or follow me around acting like my very own personal chaperone. i can make decisions for my own, its my problem whether or not they are the right ones.
the momentary sparks of pity, understanding, or the urge to undermine or challenge me can be spared.