(no subject)
Before you jump into this, I suggest you read my brother's blog (http://nodrumlins.blogspot.com/). We just spent six hours live blogging Super Tuesday, and since all the results are not yet in, I thought I'd keep going a little while longer.
1:30 -- They just brought back Maria Teresa Peterson, whom we last saw at 7:25. I wonder what she's been doing for the past six hours. You would think she spent that time crunching the Hispanic numbers, since they only ask her about the Latino vote. However, it seems she also spent some time working on her cleavage, as it no longer appears to go nearly to her chin. I'm going to guess two hours on the Latino vote and four hours fixing the cleavage.
1:32 -- A gentleman by the name of Bob Herbert, of the New York Times, is speaking very insightfully about the Obama movement. And he also looks like a black Frankenstein. This may be more distracting than Ms. Peterson's out of control chest chasm.
1:37 -- Blackenstein was standing in front of one of those giant studio photos of the city the guy is supposed to be in -- in this case San Francisco. I love those things. It's always blatantly obvious that the people are in a studio, but they insist on having a fake background as though they were getting some 8x10 photos at a Sears Studio. This just in -- I'm not at a farm or in front of a covered bridge. Hell, it's not even autumn! I have to admit, though, if I had a giant panorama of Boston in my room, I'd pose in front of it all the time.
1:42 -- And once again, we go to the panel of "experts", and in this case "experts" means "dipshits". Now that I am on my blog, I can let down my hair and start dropping some serious profanities, George Carlin style. Shit, balls, cunnilingus. That's not really profanity, but it's a great word. Anyhow. These four talking monkeys have been sitting in those chairs for nearly eight hours, just waiting for a chance to spout their party lines. Just think about how grubby those chairs are by this point -- eight hours of Pat Buchanan's sweaty ass farting into the cushion while he pounds back sausages between takes.
1:46 -- Pat Buchanan just went on a rant blaming Democrats for the social ills of the 1960's and praising the resulting conservative backlash that brought us Nixon. I shit you not.
1:47 -- New Mexico, the final undeclared Democratic state, is "too early to call", with the candidates tied at 48% with about a third of the vote counted. Is it just me, or does New Mexico always take forever to tally their votes? Hey guys -- less time harvesting peyote and more time counting ballots, please. Who am I kidding; they're all probably out in the desert growing Bill Richardson beards in preparation for Burning Man.
1:52 -- A flare of trumpets heralds the reappearance of Harold Fineman, who is here to talk about Super Delegates, which once again begins a deep stirring of righteous anger within my soul.
1:56 -- The delegate guy just came out to say that even though Obama is behind in Super Delegates, since he has some caucuses coming up, he could very well make up the entire difference by this time next week.
1:57 -- And the gang from MSNBC is packing it in. Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann just signed off abruptly; the rank odor coming from Buchanan's chair probably forced them off their set. So what have we learned? Well, McCain is the clear favorite in the Republican campaign, because even though he only won a couple more states than Romney and Huckabee, he got way more delegates thanks to the winner take all formats in some states. Similarly, Romney somehow ends up looking like a giant loser and Huckabee a huge winner even though Romney ended up winning more states. So it's looking like McCain in the lead, Huckabee becoming a viable conservative alternative and Romney going right in the Diaper Genie just like he deserves.
Over on the Democratic side, Obama won more states and might end up with more delegates and clearly has the momentum. Clinton was able to hold on to her giant leads in California, New Jersey and Massachusetts and somehow that gives her campaign reason to call it a momentum builder and a win -- which are both blatant bullcrap. At best this is a tie for her, at worst it can be seen as a loss, especially when you consider he outgained her in fundraising by a count of 3-1 this month.
I also want to take a moment to mention that Clinton put out a press release saying that her victory in Massachusetts was a "surprise" victory based on the MA endorsements. This is preposterous, as Clinton has been up by something like 30% in the polls for months.
2:01 -- Someone named Chris Jansing just took over the coverage. She's kind of hot, actually, especially considering she's 51, except her hands look like they are made out of rubber.
2:05 -- Time for Poker After Dark, which I will be live blogging, beginning.... NOW! Er, sorry, I meant, which I will be live blogging beginning... never! Good night, everyone.
1:30 -- They just brought back Maria Teresa Peterson, whom we last saw at 7:25. I wonder what she's been doing for the past six hours. You would think she spent that time crunching the Hispanic numbers, since they only ask her about the Latino vote. However, it seems she also spent some time working on her cleavage, as it no longer appears to go nearly to her chin. I'm going to guess two hours on the Latino vote and four hours fixing the cleavage.
1:32 -- A gentleman by the name of Bob Herbert, of the New York Times, is speaking very insightfully about the Obama movement. And he also looks like a black Frankenstein. This may be more distracting than Ms. Peterson's out of control chest chasm.
1:37 -- Blackenstein was standing in front of one of those giant studio photos of the city the guy is supposed to be in -- in this case San Francisco. I love those things. It's always blatantly obvious that the people are in a studio, but they insist on having a fake background as though they were getting some 8x10 photos at a Sears Studio. This just in -- I'm not at a farm or in front of a covered bridge. Hell, it's not even autumn! I have to admit, though, if I had a giant panorama of Boston in my room, I'd pose in front of it all the time.
1:42 -- And once again, we go to the panel of "experts", and in this case "experts" means "dipshits". Now that I am on my blog, I can let down my hair and start dropping some serious profanities, George Carlin style. Shit, balls, cunnilingus. That's not really profanity, but it's a great word. Anyhow. These four talking monkeys have been sitting in those chairs for nearly eight hours, just waiting for a chance to spout their party lines. Just think about how grubby those chairs are by this point -- eight hours of Pat Buchanan's sweaty ass farting into the cushion while he pounds back sausages between takes.
1:46 -- Pat Buchanan just went on a rant blaming Democrats for the social ills of the 1960's and praising the resulting conservative backlash that brought us Nixon. I shit you not.
1:47 -- New Mexico, the final undeclared Democratic state, is "too early to call", with the candidates tied at 48% with about a third of the vote counted. Is it just me, or does New Mexico always take forever to tally their votes? Hey guys -- less time harvesting peyote and more time counting ballots, please. Who am I kidding; they're all probably out in the desert growing Bill Richardson beards in preparation for Burning Man.
1:52 -- A flare of trumpets heralds the reappearance of Harold Fineman, who is here to talk about Super Delegates, which once again begins a deep stirring of righteous anger within my soul.
1:56 -- The delegate guy just came out to say that even though Obama is behind in Super Delegates, since he has some caucuses coming up, he could very well make up the entire difference by this time next week.
1:57 -- And the gang from MSNBC is packing it in. Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann just signed off abruptly; the rank odor coming from Buchanan's chair probably forced them off their set. So what have we learned? Well, McCain is the clear favorite in the Republican campaign, because even though he only won a couple more states than Romney and Huckabee, he got way more delegates thanks to the winner take all formats in some states. Similarly, Romney somehow ends up looking like a giant loser and Huckabee a huge winner even though Romney ended up winning more states. So it's looking like McCain in the lead, Huckabee becoming a viable conservative alternative and Romney going right in the Diaper Genie just like he deserves.
Over on the Democratic side, Obama won more states and might end up with more delegates and clearly has the momentum. Clinton was able to hold on to her giant leads in California, New Jersey and Massachusetts and somehow that gives her campaign reason to call it a momentum builder and a win -- which are both blatant bullcrap. At best this is a tie for her, at worst it can be seen as a loss, especially when you consider he outgained her in fundraising by a count of 3-1 this month.
I also want to take a moment to mention that Clinton put out a press release saying that her victory in Massachusetts was a "surprise" victory based on the MA endorsements. This is preposterous, as Clinton has been up by something like 30% in the polls for months.
2:01 -- Someone named Chris Jansing just took over the coverage. She's kind of hot, actually, especially considering she's 51, except her hands look like they are made out of rubber.
2:05 -- Time for Poker After Dark, which I will be live blogging, beginning.... NOW! Er, sorry, I meant, which I will be live blogging beginning... never! Good night, everyone.