(no subject)
My locker wont open... I cannot complete homework since my locker wont open with all my homework in it... I got about 8 people to try... it isnt opening. I vote it is just trying to add to my shittastic day.
Pat is leaving tomorrow... early. He has to get on a long plane trip. That makes me nerous. I dont like people flying a long distance. Like with my dad it doesnt bother me. And I am on a plane at least 6 times a year but just I am nervous. Like the plane could crash or somthing. Then he is going on a 2 week long cruise to Alaska. Cruise. oh what fun for relationships. 2 weeks.. god that will kill me. Oh well it will give me time to get undepressed.
Lately I have been depressed and pushing people away and people think it is all personal which then builds to an even more shittastic day. I dont mean to it is just when i am really depressed just people seem to be more annoying.. even hearing my own voice is so i just dont talk. And people are taking it personally which I understand I suppose but I hate it. People might as well just not try with me. I am a bitch.
I am going to miss Pat. Being able to call him in the mornings, after school.. ect. He thinks he will get cell maybe up there but I doubt it. It would be nice but I dont think he will. Even so he wouldntget to talk to me much. I mean he is on vacation with his family I dont want to take time from that. These next 2 weeks will be hell for me. ugh. And then I am taking away from his friends. He is always talking to me and he doesnt get to talk to his friends as much and it is all my fault. And I am afraid that I am pulling him too much from that. Too much from his Ohio life. I have no life here so it doesnt matter me on the phone a lot. I would never tell him I didnt want him hanging out with someone. Maybe it doesnt make me feel comfortable but it doesnt mean anything. I should keep my mouth shut from now on. I just hurt things. I am a screw up.. I know i am. Oh well. I guess that is life right?
ha... Life... what a fucked up thing
Pat is leaving tomorrow... early. He has to get on a long plane trip. That makes me nerous. I dont like people flying a long distance. Like with my dad it doesnt bother me. And I am on a plane at least 6 times a year but just I am nervous. Like the plane could crash or somthing. Then he is going on a 2 week long cruise to Alaska. Cruise. oh what fun for relationships. 2 weeks.. god that will kill me. Oh well it will give me time to get undepressed.
Lately I have been depressed and pushing people away and people think it is all personal which then builds to an even more shittastic day. I dont mean to it is just when i am really depressed just people seem to be more annoying.. even hearing my own voice is so i just dont talk. And people are taking it personally which I understand I suppose but I hate it. People might as well just not try with me. I am a bitch.
I am going to miss Pat. Being able to call him in the mornings, after school.. ect. He thinks he will get cell maybe up there but I doubt it. It would be nice but I dont think he will. Even so he wouldntget to talk to me much. I mean he is on vacation with his family I dont want to take time from that. These next 2 weeks will be hell for me. ugh. And then I am taking away from his friends. He is always talking to me and he doesnt get to talk to his friends as much and it is all my fault. And I am afraid that I am pulling him too much from that. Too much from his Ohio life. I have no life here so it doesnt matter me on the phone a lot. I would never tell him I didnt want him hanging out with someone. Maybe it doesnt make me feel comfortable but it doesnt mean anything. I should keep my mouth shut from now on. I just hurt things. I am a screw up.. I know i am. Oh well. I guess that is life right?
ha... Life... what a fucked up thing