Exchanging my currency
The landfill we have fallen into. If you were to take a snap shot of this place, we are surrounding by, our prison. How much I love you, if only you could comprehend this.
This space of time I've filled with the most horrible but brilliant experiences and memories. I can't but help think or wonder what it has all been for or come down to. I feel so deeply to explain myself to you, if only I had one small place to begin, one single point. You have been there right with me, but some kind of different time you've had. I don't even feel like our lives are syncing up anymore. I am losing myself and gaining myself everyday. I fall into holes and dig myself back out. Everything makes sense, after I've absolutely lost it. There is something eating away at my insides. Call it what you want, anxiety ect. I starting to feel my soul again. There was this large gap of time when I didn't know where the hell it was. It ran off on me. I felt gutted and gone. Nothing. Dragging on and on behind the outskirts of the shit happening around us. The walls were coming down. I'm far from that now. I have some empty hope, of something. I feel it ending and beginning all in one small breath. I'm not afraid of anything anymore, not death or life or being alone. I'm not afraid of being without you. I want you to stick around though. I've wanted this more than anything in my life. I'm coming to terms with myself. My stability. Finding something inside of me, to hold everything above. To at least float above water. Self understanding. Self communication.
Sunday always comes back to bite.
This space of time I've filled with the most horrible but brilliant experiences and memories. I can't but help think or wonder what it has all been for or come down to. I feel so deeply to explain myself to you, if only I had one small place to begin, one single point. You have been there right with me, but some kind of different time you've had. I don't even feel like our lives are syncing up anymore. I am losing myself and gaining myself everyday. I fall into holes and dig myself back out. Everything makes sense, after I've absolutely lost it. There is something eating away at my insides. Call it what you want, anxiety ect. I starting to feel my soul again. There was this large gap of time when I didn't know where the hell it was. It ran off on me. I felt gutted and gone. Nothing. Dragging on and on behind the outskirts of the shit happening around us. The walls were coming down. I'm far from that now. I have some empty hope, of something. I feel it ending and beginning all in one small breath. I'm not afraid of anything anymore, not death or life or being alone. I'm not afraid of being without you. I want you to stick around though. I've wanted this more than anything in my life. I'm coming to terms with myself. My stability. Finding something inside of me, to hold everything above. To at least float above water. Self understanding. Self communication.
Sunday always comes back to bite.