Survey says...!
1996 Dodge Neon, black, 4 door sedan, 4 cylinder, 5 speed manual transmission. It has a back seat worth talking about, and hella trunk space. It's the most sexy car I have ever owned, period. It hurt to have to purchase it, but in a way the change makes me happy. Her name? Serenity, as the circumstances whereby she was acquired less than 24 hours from when the need for a new vehicle was established could easily be passed off as serene. She's pretty and I love her already.
[soapbox]
When I attempt something and it doesn't work, I fall back to where I started. This is normal. Not addressing a problem, even if it has existed for a goodly chunk of time, doesn't solve the problem. It buries it, leaves it to swell inside and eat a hole in you. If you see the hole and remember the problem, suddenly it seems a hell of a lot worse than before you started ignoring it. If you don't remember the problem, you have no clue how to patch the hole, and you are lost. Life isn't all roses, grassy gnolls, happy strolls through amber fields and the like. To attempt to address it as such is delusion. Perhaps delusion works for some people. I seek the truth, as that is reality, that is what has substance. Any delusion one might make to put on a happy face, for whatever reason, is a figment... is lacks essence, it has no core. It is not what you or I could consider real. It is a fabrication, by definition.
[/soapbox]
So if we attempt to find a solution and fail, are we somehow no longer justified in feeling bad about it? And if we do still feel bad after constant, failed attempts to solve the problem, is venting our emotions truly an unpreductive endeavor? Of course not, that's why psychologists get paid to listen to people ramble about this sort of thing... because it helps. Oftentimes we just need to get things off of our respective chests, ne? And many a time there has been where someone has gone off about a topic or other with a solution already planned. Perhaps they're going off because they don't like the solution, but don't see a way around it. Perhaps they're even fishing for alternatives, hoping that they've just overlooked something.
I rant up a storm here, but LJ would make it seem like my problems own me. If I were to post about other things in my life, it would be imminently clear that that particular assessment was made in error. But blogging for me is a way to vent my frustrations and laments in a forum where they can be known to people who might give a shit, but who I don't always get the chance to speak with on a regular basis. Hence my modus operandi concerning this site.
But I cannot believe that people tire of my inane ramblings... because, for whatever reason, the list of people who befriend me and thus have my postings on their page of friends has not shrunken in some time.
There is little that upsets me more than someone taking me for something or someone that I am not. But the core problem here is not that person's perception of me. It's not their fault that they lack the clarity of mind and vision to see what is here before them. But it is my fault for letting it get to me, as has always been my greater issue. And I do not see a clear way to stop caring about other people's opinions of me as a person and not end up closing myself off to the world because of it. Their opinions of me effect me, because they are reflected in their actions, and in the actions of those to whom they spread their opinions.
Of course, I could just toss a pox on someone anytime I am slandered, but there might be some legal issue there that I'm forgetting about in my brief moments of rage. And I can't really fault people for being mistaken, but too many are quick to judge based on speculation and slow to change their minds when presented with an abundance of fact which contradicts their position. Once again, not of substance, but a construct of thought that exists independant of veracity. But what do I know? I'm just creepy.
[soapbox]
When I attempt something and it doesn't work, I fall back to where I started. This is normal. Not addressing a problem, even if it has existed for a goodly chunk of time, doesn't solve the problem. It buries it, leaves it to swell inside and eat a hole in you. If you see the hole and remember the problem, suddenly it seems a hell of a lot worse than before you started ignoring it. If you don't remember the problem, you have no clue how to patch the hole, and you are lost. Life isn't all roses, grassy gnolls, happy strolls through amber fields and the like. To attempt to address it as such is delusion. Perhaps delusion works for some people. I seek the truth, as that is reality, that is what has substance. Any delusion one might make to put on a happy face, for whatever reason, is a figment... is lacks essence, it has no core. It is not what you or I could consider real. It is a fabrication, by definition.
[/soapbox]
So if we attempt to find a solution and fail, are we somehow no longer justified in feeling bad about it? And if we do still feel bad after constant, failed attempts to solve the problem, is venting our emotions truly an unpreductive endeavor? Of course not, that's why psychologists get paid to listen to people ramble about this sort of thing... because it helps. Oftentimes we just need to get things off of our respective chests, ne? And many a time there has been where someone has gone off about a topic or other with a solution already planned. Perhaps they're going off because they don't like the solution, but don't see a way around it. Perhaps they're even fishing for alternatives, hoping that they've just overlooked something.
I rant up a storm here, but LJ would make it seem like my problems own me. If I were to post about other things in my life, it would be imminently clear that that particular assessment was made in error. But blogging for me is a way to vent my frustrations and laments in a forum where they can be known to people who might give a shit, but who I don't always get the chance to speak with on a regular basis. Hence my modus operandi concerning this site.
But I cannot believe that people tire of my inane ramblings... because, for whatever reason, the list of people who befriend me and thus have my postings on their page of friends has not shrunken in some time.
There is little that upsets me more than someone taking me for something or someone that I am not. But the core problem here is not that person's perception of me. It's not their fault that they lack the clarity of mind and vision to see what is here before them. But it is my fault for letting it get to me, as has always been my greater issue. And I do not see a clear way to stop caring about other people's opinions of me as a person and not end up closing myself off to the world because of it. Their opinions of me effect me, because they are reflected in their actions, and in the actions of those to whom they spread their opinions.
Of course, I could just toss a pox on someone anytime I am slandered, but there might be some legal issue there that I'm forgetting about in my brief moments of rage. And I can't really fault people for being mistaken, but too many are quick to judge based on speculation and slow to change their minds when presented with an abundance of fact which contradicts their position. Once again, not of substance, but a construct of thought that exists independant of veracity. But what do I know? I'm just creepy.