[ooc] Kazuki told me to post this.
[01:42] also kazuki friendzoneddavid
[01:42] and david does notseem to be taking it well
[01:43] <@Ruka> of course not
[01:43] <@Ruka> (MEANWHILE, SOMEWHERE: * Ruka fistpumps...)
[01:43] nhvgfjh hahahaha
[01:44] <@Ruka> ONE DOWN
[01:44] <@Ruka> THE REST OF THE WORLD TO GO
[01:44] r-ruka
[01:45] <@Ruka> 8|
[...]
[01:55] <@Ruka> also
[01:55] ( <@Ruka> how Ruka has developed since being twelve years old: )
[01:42] and david does notseem to be taking it well
[01:43] <@Ruka> of course not
[01:43] <@Ruka> (MEANWHILE, SOMEWHERE: * Ruka fistpumps...)
[01:43] nhvgfjh hahahaha
[01:44] <@Ruka> ONE DOWN
[01:44] <@Ruka> THE REST OF THE WORLD TO GO
[01:44] r-ruka
[01:45] <@Ruka> 8|
[...]
[01:55] <@Ruka> also
[01:55] ( <@Ruka> how Ruka has developed since being twelve years old: )
HMM. Okay! Like I mentioned before, Ruka was actually okay with Kazuki dating at first! He considered Kazuki and Alice's thing a disposable relationship that wouldn't actually be a threat to his and Kazuki's dynamics, so while it was gross and annoying and shallow it was tolerable. But then Yuki pointed out that they actually liked and knew each other semi-well, and Kazuki was like I TOTALLY MIGHT GET MARRIED SOMEDAY!!, both of which are SUPER THREATENING. :( Ruka is extremely insecure! He has a hard enough time understanding why Kazuki likes him at all and is already constantly afraid that SOMETHING will change Kazuki's mind, so in Ruka's head... well, the more people that Kazuki loves, the more likely it is that he'll come to not care about Ruka as much. Either because he doesn't have enough time/love/WHATEVER to spare or because having AMAZING PEOPLE THAT HE LOVES!! will alert him to how totally worthless Ruka is. :'(
Anddd he felt like he had pretty good reasons for thinking that this was a likely outcome-- he thought that Kazuki was aware of how outright antagonistic his and Haruki's relationship has been, so that was proof enough in Ruka's mind that Kazuki having people he loved more would lead to him disregarding Ruka's feelings and well-being. Now that Kazuki has pointed out that he wasn't aware and is upset about it, Ruka's not sure how to feel! Buttt it's likely that he'll just disregard that train of logic and continue to hold those insecurities. They've already been planted pretty deep, and it's not like he needs any reasons to think Kazuki will eventually discard him. He absolutely does not believe that he could ever live happily if his life didn't revolve around Kazuki, so UNDERSTANDABLY the thought of Kazuki marrying someone and moving away and forcing Ruka to live his own (LONELY, MISERABLE, WORTHLESS) life is terrifying to him.
SO mostly Ruka will keep worrying over all of this, especially if he ever really sees Kazuki and Alice interact. THE WORRYING WILL PROBABLY MANIFEST ITSELF AS RESENTMENT, because that's how Ruka works, and also because he kind of does feel like it's unfair of Kazuki to... have such a special connection with someone that hasn't been with him through di[e]ce, or at least someone that has the tools to understand the experience. Alice does not fit this for him! SHE'S JUST SOME BORING NORMAL GIRL 8| It doesn't help that Ruka still has a very hard time as seeing people in general as worthwhile or anything other than shallow, either! The people he likes are the exceptions to the rule, and everyone else is useless. So not only is Alice not GOOD ENOUGH for Kazuki, it's unfair that Kazuki would choose someone that can't really relate to him (or choose someone romantically at ALL) when he has a perfectly good collection of friends that love and devote themselves to him already. ARE WE NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU, KAZUKI!!!! HAVING SUCH A SHALLOW ROMANCE IS AN INSULT TO YOUR PLAYERS' BONDS!!11
IN SHORT: INSECURITY ANGER JEALOUSY REJECTION TERROR ;A;
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