(no subject)
I'm having a weird day. I fucked up my sleep schedule again, staying up late to skype a friend. She needed to talk and I'm one of the few people she talks to, and she's dealing with a lot. And it's not like I begrudge her my time, I'm happy to help if I can. But I also know I use whatever I can to sabotage myself so I'm too tired to do anything. And as I get more tired, I start slipping down again.
It's strange. I can hear it when I talk to people; I don't sound right. I'm awkward and blunt and even know I know that, I can't think of a way to say things better. It's a fundamental disconnect; I aim too high or too low or just sideways, and I end up hitting a weird note.
Self: get up early tomorrow. Go for a walk. Clean your room. Do something. You don't have time to mess up your life again. There are still things you have to do.
It's strange. I can hear it when I talk to people; I don't sound right. I'm awkward and blunt and even know I know that, I can't think of a way to say things better. It's a fundamental disconnect; I aim too high or too low or just sideways, and I end up hitting a weird note.
Self: get up early tomorrow. Go for a walk. Clean your room. Do something. You don't have time to mess up your life again. There are still things you have to do.