Unbelievapeople
People, before you leave your house in the morning, do me a huge favor. LOOK IN A FULL-LENGTH MIRROR.
Case in point- the people who come in my store. Keep in mind, these people not only dress like idiots, but speak like one. We've gone over this several times.
Subject A: Came in today thinking she was hot shit and better than me. In her insanely light blue jeans sucked to her body that accentuated her gut fat, her knock off Ugg boots that said pants were tucked into, a brown "Mexico" tee shirt underneath a hip-length close-fit camo puffy jacket with fur trim on the hood, topped off with her unwashed mess of long blond hair underneath her hand knit/crocheted white "hat"... and hiding her face- super huge sunglasses with octagonal lenses so large, her "hat" was tucked behind them. If you rock this style and think you're hot and you're NOT retarded, you need to be shot. This doesn't look good on ANYONE. Not even you girls with the bodies of 10 year old boys. This woman, with the glasses on, could have pulled off looking in her late 20s, early 30s. Remove the glasses- holy crap you're in your 50s!
Subject B: The White Woman. She comes in year round to buy things here and there. She's in her 60s and not in shape. She can NOT pull off the all-white look. She sports white jeans/pants, white go-go boots, a white blouse, a white puffy winter coat (This time of year) that hits just above waist high, and hiding her hair-- a white furry hat a'la Za Za Gabor. Who let you out of the house?!
Subject(s) C: Skanky mother and daughter. This, unfortunately, is not a stereotype. I've seen it with both caucasians and Mexicans. The mother is usually shorter than the daughter, much heavier set, bad skin/teeth, clothes, reeks of cigarette smoke, and tries to dress like she's 16. The daughter taller (90% of the time) and is either rail-thin or heavy set. Girl usually dresses like a skank, speaks like a Maury guest, and will frequently have hickeys on her neck and has made no attempt to cover them up. Both mother and daughter have very cheap tattoos with no artistry and look like they were done in a back alley by a guy named Marcello.
If you're going to go into public, don't act like a jackass. In my line of work, there IS such a thing as a stupid question-- and yes, we do think you're an idiot.
Example a: Oddly enough, this involves Subject A woman. She's looking at the Antibacterial soaps lined along the cash register. She's crouched down studying each one carefully. She looks uncomfortable and her pants are so tight I'd really not like to see them split, so I inform her the full collection is just over to her right on the wall. She looks at me and replies "what? Huh?" I repeat myself to this ignorant boob and she remains crouched. She then proceeds to ask me what she's looking at. At this point, I want to kick her in her ugly face. I explain to her she's looking at 3 different styles of soaps: Moisturizing, Foaming, and Deep Cleansing. She replied with the most common, infuriating response, "so, like, which one is the best." At this point, I stop being nice. If it wasn't the best, WE WOULDN'T CARRY IT! I'm honest at this point and tell her, "Personally, I like the foaming. Some people don't like that, so they go for the moisturizing soaps for the softening or the Deep Cleansing for the exfoliant properties." Someone please kill me.
Example b: I really can't classify this woman. She is going to make a purchase. She's going to write a check. She then asks when the check will go through. The associate and I look at each other and tell her that it all depends on her bank. She says, "well, then can I look up my account?" Um... no? We have no way to access your account. At all. We tell her. She's still trying to write this check, as if she's never written one before. As she hands the check to me, she says, "so, do I get this back?" No... we keep it and then take it to the bank. We drop it off to them the following business day. "So, when will it come out of my account? Can't I just look up my account?" I replied to her, "ma'am, we're not a bank. We cannot do that."
Example c: also oddly enough, involves Subject(s) C. These two woman came in last week. A mother and daughter combo- described as above. They're asking the most ridiculous questions. If they weren't so stupid, I would have thought they were up to something. To make an incredibly long story short, they're asking about soap. How much are the big bottles- 3 for $10 (at the time). Do you need water for them-- yes. What are these little ones-- they're waterless soaps. Do you need water for them-- they're waterless, no water needed. Then they'd do it all over again. What is this. How much is this. What is this. What does this do. PEOPLE. READ THE FUCKING LABEL. I'VE ANSWERED YOUR DUMBASS QUESTIONS EIGHT TIMES! I HAVE WITNESSES THIS TIME! KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF!!!!
The sad thing is, more and more of these idiots are my customers. I want to hit the people who come in and come right up to you and say, "Where are the clearance racks? I'm lookin for clearance racks." Quite frankly, I'm tired of giving the company answer. WE DON'T HAVE CLEARANCE RACKS. Do you walk into Bloomingdale's, find the first clerk, and say "hey, where's your clearance racks?" NO. YOU DON'T. I'm all for bargain shopping people... but in a higher-end store, you don't ASK that. That's not consumer etiquette. Then you have the people who insist you sell something you've never sold- EVER. I had a woman come in INSISTING we sold Clinique. I told her we don't sell Clinique- high end department stores do. "Yeah, but my mother said she got it here." Ma'am... we DON'T SELL IT AND NEVER HAD. TRY MACY'S! Oh, and if one more person asks if we sell cards (not gift cards, not credit cards, but greeting cards), I'm going to kill someone. HALLMARK IS 2 STORES TO THE LEFT!
Seriously, I'm not sure how much longer I can do this. It's like babysitting retards 7 days a week.
Case in point- the people who come in my store. Keep in mind, these people not only dress like idiots, but speak like one. We've gone over this several times.
Subject A: Came in today thinking she was hot shit and better than me. In her insanely light blue jeans sucked to her body that accentuated her gut fat, her knock off Ugg boots that said pants were tucked into, a brown "Mexico" tee shirt underneath a hip-length close-fit camo puffy jacket with fur trim on the hood, topped off with her unwashed mess of long blond hair underneath her hand knit/crocheted white "hat"... and hiding her face- super huge sunglasses with octagonal lenses so large, her "hat" was tucked behind them. If you rock this style and think you're hot and you're NOT retarded, you need to be shot. This doesn't look good on ANYONE. Not even you girls with the bodies of 10 year old boys. This woman, with the glasses on, could have pulled off looking in her late 20s, early 30s. Remove the glasses- holy crap you're in your 50s!
Subject B: The White Woman. She comes in year round to buy things here and there. She's in her 60s and not in shape. She can NOT pull off the all-white look. She sports white jeans/pants, white go-go boots, a white blouse, a white puffy winter coat (This time of year) that hits just above waist high, and hiding her hair-- a white furry hat a'la Za Za Gabor. Who let you out of the house?!
Subject(s) C: Skanky mother and daughter. This, unfortunately, is not a stereotype. I've seen it with both caucasians and Mexicans. The mother is usually shorter than the daughter, much heavier set, bad skin/teeth, clothes, reeks of cigarette smoke, and tries to dress like she's 16. The daughter taller (90% of the time) and is either rail-thin or heavy set. Girl usually dresses like a skank, speaks like a Maury guest, and will frequently have hickeys on her neck and has made no attempt to cover them up. Both mother and daughter have very cheap tattoos with no artistry and look like they were done in a back alley by a guy named Marcello.
If you're going to go into public, don't act like a jackass. In my line of work, there IS such a thing as a stupid question-- and yes, we do think you're an idiot.
Example a: Oddly enough, this involves Subject A woman. She's looking at the Antibacterial soaps lined along the cash register. She's crouched down studying each one carefully. She looks uncomfortable and her pants are so tight I'd really not like to see them split, so I inform her the full collection is just over to her right on the wall. She looks at me and replies "what? Huh?" I repeat myself to this ignorant boob and she remains crouched. She then proceeds to ask me what she's looking at. At this point, I want to kick her in her ugly face. I explain to her she's looking at 3 different styles of soaps: Moisturizing, Foaming, and Deep Cleansing. She replied with the most common, infuriating response, "so, like, which one is the best." At this point, I stop being nice. If it wasn't the best, WE WOULDN'T CARRY IT! I'm honest at this point and tell her, "Personally, I like the foaming. Some people don't like that, so they go for the moisturizing soaps for the softening or the Deep Cleansing for the exfoliant properties." Someone please kill me.
Example b: I really can't classify this woman. She is going to make a purchase. She's going to write a check. She then asks when the check will go through. The associate and I look at each other and tell her that it all depends on her bank. She says, "well, then can I look up my account?" Um... no? We have no way to access your account. At all. We tell her. She's still trying to write this check, as if she's never written one before. As she hands the check to me, she says, "so, do I get this back?" No... we keep it and then take it to the bank. We drop it off to them the following business day. "So, when will it come out of my account? Can't I just look up my account?" I replied to her, "ma'am, we're not a bank. We cannot do that."
Example c: also oddly enough, involves Subject(s) C. These two woman came in last week. A mother and daughter combo- described as above. They're asking the most ridiculous questions. If they weren't so stupid, I would have thought they were up to something. To make an incredibly long story short, they're asking about soap. How much are the big bottles- 3 for $10 (at the time). Do you need water for them-- yes. What are these little ones-- they're waterless soaps. Do you need water for them-- they're waterless, no water needed. Then they'd do it all over again. What is this. How much is this. What is this. What does this do. PEOPLE. READ THE FUCKING LABEL. I'VE ANSWERED YOUR DUMBASS QUESTIONS EIGHT TIMES! I HAVE WITNESSES THIS TIME! KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF!!!!
The sad thing is, more and more of these idiots are my customers. I want to hit the people who come in and come right up to you and say, "Where are the clearance racks? I'm lookin for clearance racks." Quite frankly, I'm tired of giving the company answer. WE DON'T HAVE CLEARANCE RACKS. Do you walk into Bloomingdale's, find the first clerk, and say "hey, where's your clearance racks?" NO. YOU DON'T. I'm all for bargain shopping people... but in a higher-end store, you don't ASK that. That's not consumer etiquette. Then you have the people who insist you sell something you've never sold- EVER. I had a woman come in INSISTING we sold Clinique. I told her we don't sell Clinique- high end department stores do. "Yeah, but my mother said she got it here." Ma'am... we DON'T SELL IT AND NEVER HAD. TRY MACY'S! Oh, and if one more person asks if we sell cards (not gift cards, not credit cards, but greeting cards), I'm going to kill someone. HALLMARK IS 2 STORES TO THE LEFT!
Seriously, I'm not sure how much longer I can do this. It's like babysitting retards 7 days a week.