Step 1...
The ability to turn worry and fear into something productive is something I am far from reaching, not impossible to start the journey. It is a thing to reach for, and it is the reaching, the commitment and the understanding, the resolve to strive that many people fail at. Often people mistake attempting from reaching; I myself have started many things only to give up in the near future. I hide my own pain and loss of self and lose my way on that path. We all want to be understood, weather by others or by ourselves. The only way we can be loved and know by others is to know and understand ourselves.
This is a classic and horribly overused cliché, but it is one in which I place a lot of truth. It has the clarion ring of a truth, a need to be true if not universally, then personally. A universal truth need not be a positive truth, and a personal truth need not be that which coincides with the universal whole. My understanding that there is no one being of god may not even be personally or universally true, but that does not stop me from living, and does not dissuade millions of religious people the world over. As long as I come to grips with my truth and steel my resolve in my goal then the realization of it will be that much easier.
It is now or never, so to speak. If I do not start something with my life, nothing will ever come, no matter how things unfold. The hours of my life run away, and I am left behind to sit and wallow or stand and break away.
As we discussed yesterday life is a bastard, and if I cannot kill it, then I must accept it and change it. Despite its attempts to fuck with me, I cannot hate it. Hating it would give it too much power, and I need all that energy for myself and those that I love.
This is my first step, and hopefully not the last.
Also, on a completely different note…my PC seems to be doing well, so communication will be unhindered…I hope.
This is a classic and horribly overused cliché, but it is one in which I place a lot of truth. It has the clarion ring of a truth, a need to be true if not universally, then personally. A universal truth need not be a positive truth, and a personal truth need not be that which coincides with the universal whole. My understanding that there is no one being of god may not even be personally or universally true, but that does not stop me from living, and does not dissuade millions of religious people the world over. As long as I come to grips with my truth and steel my resolve in my goal then the realization of it will be that much easier.
It is now or never, so to speak. If I do not start something with my life, nothing will ever come, no matter how things unfold. The hours of my life run away, and I am left behind to sit and wallow or stand and break away.
As we discussed yesterday life is a bastard, and if I cannot kill it, then I must accept it and change it. Despite its attempts to fuck with me, I cannot hate it. Hating it would give it too much power, and I need all that energy for myself and those that I love.
This is my first step, and hopefully not the last.
Also, on a completely different note…my PC seems to be doing well, so communication will be unhindered…I hope.