[Football] Found things
I was hoping to have more prompts written up by this balmy madrugada, but instead I've been waiting for my Spanish presentation to finish uploading. I should be in bed. I have to be up in five hours
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2. ILH. :(
3. Sigh.
4. This is the idea that was kind of riding throughout this entire thing for me. It's not that Nesta sees Zlatan as being cheap necessarily, it's like he feels like his relationship with Z and Gabriella is somehow cheapened by the whole thing. I would try to articulate on this more, but I'd probably just trip all over myself. I don't even know what I think of this pairing. I enjoy it and I can see a lot of possibilities with it but at the same time I never know what I want from it. I just tried discussing my views on it with Serena via chat and nothing came of it. I keep changing my mind and making no sense. :|
I keep making this observation to others, but your Nesta really, really, really seems to despise Z-- it's a serious resentment that isn't (as) present in other versions (well, in the beginning yes, but not so late in the relationship).
Does it really seem to be this way? I mean, even before this one in particular? I can readily see Nesta as absolutely hating him as well as just being a bit nervous about the whole thing. Overall, I'm uneasy about the progression that seems to be happening when I write them. It's self-desructive as a writer because the more I think about it and the more I want to write a less angry Nesta, the more jarring and bitter he seems to be getting.
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re cheapness, no, I did (and do) understand what you're trying to say. It's not so much Ibra himself but the carrying on of the relationship, how he wants to and does hate him but at the same time there's a strain -- why is he still here, then? -- like (BLEEDINGLY OBVIOUS ANALOGY AHEAD! avert your eyes) a bad addiction you can't break, and it does make him feel cheap, this whoring out of the self. and for what? he can't explain it. that's the whole draw/hurt of the hatesex pairing. which, hay, you've taken from pre-relationship (eg. before they ever sleep with each other, they're fighting on the pitch) to inside it too.
I dunno, it just feels really, really dark and incredibly fucked up. I don't actually view Nesta as existing at that extreme end of the love-hate spectrum, although I can see how that interpretation originates and I have no trouble believing it (hence my T________T) but I was discussing this w/ applegnat, asking how she sees Sandro, because the various fandom!Nestas (mine, yours, hers) all experience varying levels of dislike for Zlatan. so I brought up this dimension of Nesta that gets a lot of attention, ie the ice princess one, and how far she would think of taking it. (for eg, you take it really, really far. it's like 90% hate and 10% wth is it that's keeping sandro there, if things have deteriorated to this. yes, it really seems that way.) Me, I think to view Sandro as, like she says, playing / cruising along, because he /is/ older, agewise or not, and after awhile it becomes clear to him that the fireworks and the WWIII antics that characterized so much of the early courtship ritual (...lulz) are not all they're cracked up to be. So I see him as resigned, after awhile, and perhaps - dare we say? - that resignation might creep towards a wary reluctant fondness (crack a smile, Nesta. like how you're always making puppy eyes at Maldini).
But I agree partly wrt the nervousness thing. on one hand, it's z. on the other, you could take it another way and say Nesta's hard to shake -- there's just this sense of pride about him, i think he is very secure in his sense of self. So Zlatan may shake him up a bit but there's a settling in, a dissipation of anxiety, as they become use to each other, or as much as they can. & jarring and bitter -- eh. :\ plz do not make me believe this too wholely. you could probably argue it that way but, you know. T_____Tface etc.
... We're just talking ourselves in circles, aren't we. Cough.
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I'm afraid so. Especially on my side of things because I'm such a flake and change my mind every other time I try to put down what I think about this pairing. It's difficult to wrap my mind around the two of them because it's like a see-sawing kind of vision with me. Because I've read your thoughts on them and Serena's and now applegnat's and they all work for me. One day I want to see them happy and shiny (if I ever finish those prompts, you'll see what I mean) and the next it's all doom and gloom. (Which strangely, also depends on which class I happen to be writing fic in. Calc = dull, very normal and almost clinical. Statistics clas = cracky Gago/Higuain type things. Religions = screwed up beyond comprehension. Sitting at home and writing, it depends on the music I'm listening to most of the time.)
But I love reading your thoughts on just about everything, so even if we're talking ourselves in circles, at least it's an interesting path (?).
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PS BRMC LEAK SO FUCKING GOOD. thanks for linking, man.
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INORITE!? I'm so fucking happy with it. I'm definitely going to the concert. Even if Serena says she can't go with me. ;__; Also, feel free to share that link with your flist or whoever if you want. The more I listen to the album, the more I love it.
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