No Disneyland Marathon for me :(

[teilea]

This summer has been less than ideal for me. Ever since the end of April I've had an internal infection that isn't cleared up yet. Thankfully It does seem to be getting better, but very very slowly. All the doctors I've seen have told me it's going to take time and that it's going to linger but its been very unpleasant. It flares up and I end up in pain where I'm practically on bed rest. It's been months now and  I had to stop training for the marathon and now I can't run it. I am finally *cross my fingers* feeling better and each time it flares up the symptoms are less severe but I've basically been in pain non stop for 3 months. We had that fancy company trip at the start of the month and I had to spend 2 days of it resting because I wasn't feeling well at all. The last 2 weeks  after the trip I was feeling better and then it flared up a bit again but thankfully its less severe and the pain is more manageable however I just want it to go away. I really *Really* hate that I'd been looking forward to improving my time at the marathon and I can't run it- heck at this point I couldn't even walk it.

Don't get me wrong I'm extremely glad and thankful I'm healing I'm just feeling extremely disappointed since it feels like this illness has cost me all the training and working out I'd been doing for the last year. The doctors told me to take it easy and rest and avoid the gym until I was feeling better. Annoyingly, I actually weigh less than I did last year during marathon time because I lost a ton of weight due to this illness but I am really out of shape now. I get tired walking up 2 flights of stairs now. Ugh.

The pain woke me up right now and I'm feeling sad now that I realized the marathon is next weekend.

/Emo cat