Life
My life is so all over the place. One day it seems average and the next day it's back into the wild it goes. Saturday Tony and I did a lot of talking about "us" and it really seemed like we were better friends than lovers. We mutually decided that we should "break it off" and yesterday he moved out.
I spent the majority of the day yesterday away from the house, I didn't want to sit home and be mopey and fall victim to my own insecurities. Sometimes the harder path is the correct one, and I didn't want to be weak for him or me and pick what was easier just because it was that, easier. Eli wanted to go to church in the morning so we went, then we went into town. Had a nice little lunch at McDonalds and spent some time at the Grandville mall. Eli even saw a little friend from his class at the mall and he got to play with her for a bit. After the mall I dropped the kids off at Matt and Cassie's for their babysitter to watch, and spent a few hours with them at one of their friend's houses.
When I finally came home I realized how dirty the house was. I started cleaning and eventually Tony showed up. I put Eli to bed and then we spent a few hours talking. From what I can tell he's taking it really well and was really mature during our talk. It's so much nicer to end it on good terms and stay friends then break up like kids do and have all kinds of sour feelings. We both knew that it wasn't going to work out and it wasn't worth taking it farther to not have the love and happiness that would make us truly happy with our lives.
So today is a new start, it's still cold and winter, but a new page has turned and there's so much living left to do. People will be disappointed, but no one can tell you where you are supposed to be. Only God knows what is really best for me. Soon I will get up and go get the kids from school, go to the store and grab some items, and then relax at home for a bit. Things always seem to have a way of working themselves out.
I spent the majority of the day yesterday away from the house, I didn't want to sit home and be mopey and fall victim to my own insecurities. Sometimes the harder path is the correct one, and I didn't want to be weak for him or me and pick what was easier just because it was that, easier. Eli wanted to go to church in the morning so we went, then we went into town. Had a nice little lunch at McDonalds and spent some time at the Grandville mall. Eli even saw a little friend from his class at the mall and he got to play with her for a bit. After the mall I dropped the kids off at Matt and Cassie's for their babysitter to watch, and spent a few hours with them at one of their friend's houses.
When I finally came home I realized how dirty the house was. I started cleaning and eventually Tony showed up. I put Eli to bed and then we spent a few hours talking. From what I can tell he's taking it really well and was really mature during our talk. It's so much nicer to end it on good terms and stay friends then break up like kids do and have all kinds of sour feelings. We both knew that it wasn't going to work out and it wasn't worth taking it farther to not have the love and happiness that would make us truly happy with our lives.
So today is a new start, it's still cold and winter, but a new page has turned and there's so much living left to do. People will be disappointed, but no one can tell you where you are supposed to be. Only God knows what is really best for me. Soon I will get up and go get the kids from school, go to the store and grab some items, and then relax at home for a bit. Things always seem to have a way of working themselves out.