How to Not Lose the Girlfriend You Really Really Like
Dear Men:
Say you like a girl. Say you've been seeing her for about six months but have only really gotten 3-4 weeks total of face time in that period. Say you would like to continue seeing her. Say you really care about her and want to see her happy. Say this girl makes you happy, happier then you've been in a long time.
Take my advice: Do not suddenly blurt out, entirely unprompted, that you don't see said girl and you getting married. Just don't.
Because you've only had 3-4 weeks of face-time, despite being in some hodgepodge thing for six months and saying such things will make her ask "well, what's the point then?" And going two hours out of your way, riding two trains to tell her how much you like her, and even joking how she is welcome to never let you live it down, even as you do get married, even as you maybe get divorced...it's not going to sting any less. Because she wasn't thinking about those things, but now she is, and she's wondering what is so wrong with her that you would feel like you could make that kind of judgement with hardly any time to really get to know her. Which you don't. Because you're still convinced she likes fish.
I don't think John's going to be around much anymore unless he makes up for it, big time.
Say you like a girl. Say you've been seeing her for about six months but have only really gotten 3-4 weeks total of face time in that period. Say you would like to continue seeing her. Say you really care about her and want to see her happy. Say this girl makes you happy, happier then you've been in a long time.
Take my advice: Do not suddenly blurt out, entirely unprompted, that you don't see said girl and you getting married. Just don't.
Because you've only had 3-4 weeks of face-time, despite being in some hodgepodge thing for six months and saying such things will make her ask "well, what's the point then?" And going two hours out of your way, riding two trains to tell her how much you like her, and even joking how she is welcome to never let you live it down, even as you do get married, even as you maybe get divorced...it's not going to sting any less. Because she wasn't thinking about those things, but now she is, and she's wondering what is so wrong with her that you would feel like you could make that kind of judgement with hardly any time to really get to know her. Which you don't. Because you're still convinced she likes fish.
I don't think John's going to be around much anymore unless he makes up for it, big time.