I Hate the Holidays
I'm packing to go home for the holiday, and as much as I'm excited to go, I'm also dreading it. I know its going to be stressful and possibly involve lots of screaming at some point, as usual.
Trying to figure things out to see John has been more complicated than it should be. I'm happy to get to spend t ime with him, but it looks like it might be truncated and also stressful since we both have a lot of school work to do. I'm still convinced his pronunciations of impending failure are hyperbole, but if he feels he needs to do his shit while I drink wine and eat cookies and try to distract him, well, I guess I can't complain. Education is important. Super duper important.
Speaking of education, I'm getting more confident about my own. Charlie tried to nab me into being a TV concentrate, but I'm only doing a half concentration instead. Mark threatened to kill me and told me I'd be an idiot if I wasn't in his thesis class. Plus, considering all that Mark has done for me over the years, it really wouldn't be right to bail on him in the last semester. He's really put a lot of time and energy into me as a friend and as a mentee that I wouldn't feel right. Besides, if I wasn't in his thesis, I'm worried our sammich-eating habits would be ruined. I still need to take him out for a for-real dinner.
Seth called a few days ago and let me ramble at him for almost an hour. We both decided that I should have been at SUNY-Purchase in the 90's so we could have gone on adventures and skipped class together. What a pair we would have made. I'm infatuated with his brain, with his mind, with the creative force that he exudes. Delp used to talk a lot about the creative force swooping in when you managed to open the door into your subconcious and take a peek. I think Seth figured out how to pry that door open, jump through it, and has refused to come out ever since. Just watching him interact with the world around him is incredible, though I can see why he's sometimes mistaken for an idiot by strangers. Lots of thought, lots and lots of thought. I'm reading the book he wrote that he gifted and I'm not sure if its helping me understand his world view any better. We shall see. All I know is that something about being around him makes me want to be a better person, and every time I've hung out with him, I've had this incredible urge to make and break something beautiful.
I drank a bottle of La Ferme Julian with Max tonight. He informed me I was quirky and I'm not really sure what that means. I was trying to explain the brain-infatuation to him and he said it was like watching a performance. I don't know what to do with that.
I feel incredibly alive. Tomorrow: travel, baking cookies. Later in the weekend: seeing John, calling Seth, hopefully seeing Kara. Hopefully eggs.
Trying to figure things out to see John has been more complicated than it should be. I'm happy to get to spend t ime with him, but it looks like it might be truncated and also stressful since we both have a lot of school work to do. I'm still convinced his pronunciations of impending failure are hyperbole, but if he feels he needs to do his shit while I drink wine and eat cookies and try to distract him, well, I guess I can't complain. Education is important. Super duper important.
Speaking of education, I'm getting more confident about my own. Charlie tried to nab me into being a TV concentrate, but I'm only doing a half concentration instead. Mark threatened to kill me and told me I'd be an idiot if I wasn't in his thesis class. Plus, considering all that Mark has done for me over the years, it really wouldn't be right to bail on him in the last semester. He's really put a lot of time and energy into me as a friend and as a mentee that I wouldn't feel right. Besides, if I wasn't in his thesis, I'm worried our sammich-eating habits would be ruined. I still need to take him out for a for-real dinner.
Seth called a few days ago and let me ramble at him for almost an hour. We both decided that I should have been at SUNY-Purchase in the 90's so we could have gone on adventures and skipped class together. What a pair we would have made. I'm infatuated with his brain, with his mind, with the creative force that he exudes. Delp used to talk a lot about the creative force swooping in when you managed to open the door into your subconcious and take a peek. I think Seth figured out how to pry that door open, jump through it, and has refused to come out ever since. Just watching him interact with the world around him is incredible, though I can see why he's sometimes mistaken for an idiot by strangers. Lots of thought, lots and lots of thought. I'm reading the book he wrote that he gifted and I'm not sure if its helping me understand his world view any better. We shall see. All I know is that something about being around him makes me want to be a better person, and every time I've hung out with him, I've had this incredible urge to make and break something beautiful.
I drank a bottle of La Ferme Julian with Max tonight. He informed me I was quirky and I'm not really sure what that means. I was trying to explain the brain-infatuation to him and he said it was like watching a performance. I don't know what to do with that.
I feel incredibly alive. Tomorrow: travel, baking cookies. Later in the weekend: seeing John, calling Seth, hopefully seeing Kara. Hopefully eggs.