Another confession.
I have a fat ass.
I've always had one. Ever since I was a kid, it was always large. I was a chunky kid growing up, and it showed for a while in multiple spots. Then growing up and going to university I decided to start taking care of myself physically and the trouble spots all mostly evaporated. Except my ass.
That's not to say I'm unhealthy. Far from it: I'm in perfect physical health. Blood pressure, heart rate, cholesterol, blood sugar, body fat percentage, you name it, it's all in the healthy range for a male adult my size. I can run 2 miles if you asked me to (although I really wouldn't want to). I have no idea what my bench is, but I'm sure it's roughly adequate. And a large rump isn't all bad either since it also translates into a strong lower back, which means I can lift things in an incorrect way that would normally incapacitate a person. But it's still pretty fat.
That's not to say I have the fattest ass. I've seen asses that would make my posterior positively petite. Moons that block the Sun and Earth. Rumps of ridiculous ratio! Asses of absurd amplitude! Bottoms of bizarre bulk! Butts of... wait, I already did B. Damn. Well whatever, you get the point.
I don't really notice it most of the time nowadays. It's not like I have a clear view of it, or that it's so large it gets in the way, or I have trouble sitting down or getting seating at a theatre or anything. Just relative to the rest of me, it's big. I really only notice getting out of the shower since there's an enormous mirror in the bathroom. And I don't really have a problem with it. It'd be sort of nice if everything was in proportion relative to it, but whatever, you play with the hand your dealt. No complaints.
Really, this post is more a writing exercise for me. That was... 4 paragraphs about my ass. I could probably go on, but we're edging into the truly bizarre.
Incidentally, I am indeed an ass man.
I've always had one. Ever since I was a kid, it was always large. I was a chunky kid growing up, and it showed for a while in multiple spots. Then growing up and going to university I decided to start taking care of myself physically and the trouble spots all mostly evaporated. Except my ass.
That's not to say I'm unhealthy. Far from it: I'm in perfect physical health. Blood pressure, heart rate, cholesterol, blood sugar, body fat percentage, you name it, it's all in the healthy range for a male adult my size. I can run 2 miles if you asked me to (although I really wouldn't want to). I have no idea what my bench is, but I'm sure it's roughly adequate. And a large rump isn't all bad either since it also translates into a strong lower back, which means I can lift things in an incorrect way that would normally incapacitate a person. But it's still pretty fat.
That's not to say I have the fattest ass. I've seen asses that would make my posterior positively petite. Moons that block the Sun and Earth. Rumps of ridiculous ratio! Asses of absurd amplitude! Bottoms of bizarre bulk! Butts of... wait, I already did B. Damn. Well whatever, you get the point.
I don't really notice it most of the time nowadays. It's not like I have a clear view of it, or that it's so large it gets in the way, or I have trouble sitting down or getting seating at a theatre or anything. Just relative to the rest of me, it's big. I really only notice getting out of the shower since there's an enormous mirror in the bathroom. And I don't really have a problem with it. It'd be sort of nice if everything was in proportion relative to it, but whatever, you play with the hand your dealt. No complaints.
Really, this post is more a writing exercise for me. That was... 4 paragraphs about my ass. I could probably go on, but we're edging into the truly bizarre.
Incidentally, I am indeed an ass man.