Hello....
God this sounds odd but right now I feel like I'm talking to an old friend, writing in here.... well okay-dokay mr Live Journal let us get to buisness...
Alot has happned since my last post in May I believe. School was let out a while back, and now its July and school's ugly head looms just above the horizon...
So. Been to two parties. Attempted a third on the 4th but failed. Second time going out with Sami this time, and I fear it isn't going to well, which really makes me sad...I mean, I really care about her, alot. And it just seems I always bring her heartache or miserey. And thats not what I want to happen, I just want to be with her and hold her in my arms and stuff, but something always happens, and now I believe she isn't too happy with me, and I can understand why.....and I think I deserve whatever happens to me. I freak out easily, get jealous easy. But its because I care about her, and right after I asked her out I went to South Padre, and oh god I would've stayed here if I could've. I just wanted to see her, and I called her alot, to the point of to much I think. And my emotions went overboard when I came back, and I really wanted to be with her and stuff, and I hear about Kane and this other stuff, and normally I wouldn't have minded. I trust her, but with all that added emotions, plus the fight that happned at South Padre....I went overboard and nearly killed my friendship with her, Roxy, and I nearly killed their friendship with each other. Hopefully its been diverted, but I just don't think it'll last, I think I screwed up to big here...
And now for a topic change.
I've been playing alot of video games this summer because I've been bored out of my skull, and my social life kind of died with the final bell in May. So, instead of keeping up with my friends (which im doing now) I just relaxed with WoW and Warcraft 3-The Frozen Throne. I beat Chrono Trigger and I'm working on Chross when I have the time and I actually remember about it. Anyway, PAX is coming soon, but alas I shall be in HS when its here and I'll be busy learning the ropes of Debate and German and being told all the basic stuff I know in Theatre at that point in time. :-\. Main events in PAX that spark my intrest is the TFT and Halo 2 Tournaments. Granted, my ass would be swept in Halo 2 but I might make it past a round or so. I'm not great, but I certainly not a buttom smasher, but kinda hard to do that on first-person shooters eh? But the TFT tourny, man I might get somewhere in that. My solo rec in TFT is currently 35-18 or so I think, I may be exagerating a bit, but its not a bad score to say the least. I think I may have some potential in a tournament like that. And the atmosphere would be so cool, meeting with top TFT players, discussing Orc stratageys.....god its a geek's wet dream fantasy.
Topic Change
Also in my boundless folds of time I've rediscovered anime as a source of entertainment. My current ones I try and keep track of is Full Metal Alchemist (MUSIC CHANGE TO BOHIMAN RHAPSODY), Samuria Champloo, Neon Genesis Evangelion and Berserk. The thing I find intresting in Evangelion is that, despite at first glance its a standard giant robot show, it actually is dealing with Armagedon. Supposedly, an alien species appeared outa no where and caused havoc 15 years before show starts. For some reason they disapear. The creatures are code-named "Angels". The humans in responce build three Evangelions: giant fighting robot things, to counter the threat. They are piloted by three 13-14 year old kids. One boy and two girls. Boy is named Shinji, while there's a red-head named Asuka and a blue haired girl named Rei. The core of most episodes is these three defeating Angel after Angel, since it is a anime "series" and has to take up a season or two to make a profit. Anywho, NERV, the name of the sindacate that made the Evanagelions discover the DNA of the first human....Adam. They genetically revive Adam near the end of the show. Later they also reveal that all the events are in the Dead Sea Scrolls (please tell me you've heard of them) and it harbors the end, for the "Angels" are really, Angels, sent by god to end the world.Somehow Rei is captured by the Angels and Adam helps the Angels since he is god's first creation. But of course, God realizes that the Angels are being beaten by the Evangelions, so he corrupts the uppers of NERV, and a rival war takes place as the most powerful Angels descend and wreak havoc on the world. Somehow, Shinji and Asuka save the day (I think Rei dies), but at a terrible price. 85% of the world is dead and un-inhabitable.I'm not sure how they beat god but just this plot alone intrigues me. Anyway enuff of EVA. In Berserk I'm at the point where all of the Band of the Hawk is dead except Gats, and the black chick. Griffith has finally turned into the Winged Demon and is doing the black chick in front of Gats, who, being the main hero, survived the slaughter. He just lost his arm and eye in the episode I'm in, so no one spoil it.
Topic Change. (kinda)
Two nights ago as I lay awake, unable to sleep from a certain fight in South Padre, I watched a silent movie called He Who Gets Slapped. Weird name huh? (leaving real quick, fingers hurt) (im back, hour had passed) anyway, the movie was about some scientist who gets screwed by a baron and some other stuff (my will to write has diminished since I came back) and deals with four main themes. Life,love,death, and tragedy. (Music change to Swing life away) The movie left me in a philisophical mood, something that might've transfered to my dream that night (some people know what i mean). It made me think, since the main star dies as he does, made me think of what'd happen if my friends and loved ones died. And yea, I cried.... because of that. I thought of family mememberes leaving this mortal coil, of Sami, of Joe and all my other friends, and it was just to much that night. But the movie made me think of that, and it's been a while since something has ever done that to me. Kinda weird huh?
Topic Change
I got some mail from Sammy today. She mailed me flyers for houses in her neighborhood. All of which my family already saw. But hell, its the thought man. It really touched me, seeing that she cared and she put all that effort into it. Thank you Sammy. And on the topic of moving, I'm relieved its so close. But I had to move. It's in my blood if you will. This is the longest I've stayed in one place. But I'm so glad that I'm moving to just a neighborhood thats in walking distance of my house (a far walk, but walking distance none the less), and that I won't loose any friends from this. But I seriously had to do it, I just can't stay in one place for that long. I hope I'll stay in this house for all my HS years so it will ease me into staying at one spot so when I grow up I can do that and develop deeper friendships with people in my community and some stuff more than friendships...
That's all I can really think of at the moment. I've had a lot to say as you can tell. I can't write anymore. I'm so cold, this house is freezing. And so lonely....I've noticed that if I have a bad day, that night I have trouble sleeping, bad dreams, and I get lonely right before I go to sleep. And not to be obsessive, but my mind hasn't drifted far from Sami and what I've screwed up. God I am such an idoit. I love you Sami, and I'm so sorry.
And thats all folks....
Alot has happned since my last post in May I believe. School was let out a while back, and now its July and school's ugly head looms just above the horizon...
So. Been to two parties. Attempted a third on the 4th but failed. Second time going out with Sami this time, and I fear it isn't going to well, which really makes me sad...I mean, I really care about her, alot. And it just seems I always bring her heartache or miserey. And thats not what I want to happen, I just want to be with her and hold her in my arms and stuff, but something always happens, and now I believe she isn't too happy with me, and I can understand why.....and I think I deserve whatever happens to me. I freak out easily, get jealous easy. But its because I care about her, and right after I asked her out I went to South Padre, and oh god I would've stayed here if I could've. I just wanted to see her, and I called her alot, to the point of to much I think. And my emotions went overboard when I came back, and I really wanted to be with her and stuff, and I hear about Kane and this other stuff, and normally I wouldn't have minded. I trust her, but with all that added emotions, plus the fight that happned at South Padre....I went overboard and nearly killed my friendship with her, Roxy, and I nearly killed their friendship with each other. Hopefully its been diverted, but I just don't think it'll last, I think I screwed up to big here...
And now for a topic change.
I've been playing alot of video games this summer because I've been bored out of my skull, and my social life kind of died with the final bell in May. So, instead of keeping up with my friends (which im doing now) I just relaxed with WoW and Warcraft 3-The Frozen Throne. I beat Chrono Trigger and I'm working on Chross when I have the time and I actually remember about it. Anyway, PAX is coming soon, but alas I shall be in HS when its here and I'll be busy learning the ropes of Debate and German and being told all the basic stuff I know in Theatre at that point in time. :-\. Main events in PAX that spark my intrest is the TFT and Halo 2 Tournaments. Granted, my ass would be swept in Halo 2 but I might make it past a round or so. I'm not great, but I certainly not a buttom smasher, but kinda hard to do that on first-person shooters eh? But the TFT tourny, man I might get somewhere in that. My solo rec in TFT is currently 35-18 or so I think, I may be exagerating a bit, but its not a bad score to say the least. I think I may have some potential in a tournament like that. And the atmosphere would be so cool, meeting with top TFT players, discussing Orc stratageys.....god its a geek's wet dream fantasy.
Topic Change
Also in my boundless folds of time I've rediscovered anime as a source of entertainment. My current ones I try and keep track of is Full Metal Alchemist (MUSIC CHANGE TO BOHIMAN RHAPSODY), Samuria Champloo, Neon Genesis Evangelion and Berserk. The thing I find intresting in Evangelion is that, despite at first glance its a standard giant robot show, it actually is dealing with Armagedon. Supposedly, an alien species appeared outa no where and caused havoc 15 years before show starts. For some reason they disapear. The creatures are code-named "Angels". The humans in responce build three Evangelions: giant fighting robot things, to counter the threat. They are piloted by three 13-14 year old kids. One boy and two girls. Boy is named Shinji, while there's a red-head named Asuka and a blue haired girl named Rei. The core of most episodes is these three defeating Angel after Angel, since it is a anime "series" and has to take up a season or two to make a profit. Anywho, NERV, the name of the sindacate that made the Evanagelions discover the DNA of the first human....Adam. They genetically revive Adam near the end of the show. Later they also reveal that all the events are in the Dead Sea Scrolls (please tell me you've heard of them) and it harbors the end, for the "Angels" are really, Angels, sent by god to end the world.Somehow Rei is captured by the Angels and Adam helps the Angels since he is god's first creation. But of course, God realizes that the Angels are being beaten by the Evangelions, so he corrupts the uppers of NERV, and a rival war takes place as the most powerful Angels descend and wreak havoc on the world. Somehow, Shinji and Asuka save the day (I think Rei dies), but at a terrible price. 85% of the world is dead and un-inhabitable.I'm not sure how they beat god but just this plot alone intrigues me. Anyway enuff of EVA. In Berserk I'm at the point where all of the Band of the Hawk is dead except Gats, and the black chick. Griffith has finally turned into the Winged Demon and is doing the black chick in front of Gats, who, being the main hero, survived the slaughter. He just lost his arm and eye in the episode I'm in, so no one spoil it.
Topic Change. (kinda)
Two nights ago as I lay awake, unable to sleep from a certain fight in South Padre, I watched a silent movie called He Who Gets Slapped. Weird name huh? (leaving real quick, fingers hurt) (im back, hour had passed) anyway, the movie was about some scientist who gets screwed by a baron and some other stuff (my will to write has diminished since I came back) and deals with four main themes. Life,love,death, and tragedy. (Music change to Swing life away) The movie left me in a philisophical mood, something that might've transfered to my dream that night (some people know what i mean). It made me think, since the main star dies as he does, made me think of what'd happen if my friends and loved ones died. And yea, I cried.... because of that. I thought of family mememberes leaving this mortal coil, of Sami, of Joe and all my other friends, and it was just to much that night. But the movie made me think of that, and it's been a while since something has ever done that to me. Kinda weird huh?
Topic Change
I got some mail from Sammy today. She mailed me flyers for houses in her neighborhood. All of which my family already saw. But hell, its the thought man. It really touched me, seeing that she cared and she put all that effort into it. Thank you Sammy. And on the topic of moving, I'm relieved its so close. But I had to move. It's in my blood if you will. This is the longest I've stayed in one place. But I'm so glad that I'm moving to just a neighborhood thats in walking distance of my house (a far walk, but walking distance none the less), and that I won't loose any friends from this. But I seriously had to do it, I just can't stay in one place for that long. I hope I'll stay in this house for all my HS years so it will ease me into staying at one spot so when I grow up I can do that and develop deeper friendships with people in my community and some stuff more than friendships...
That's all I can really think of at the moment. I've had a lot to say as you can tell. I can't write anymore. I'm so cold, this house is freezing. And so lonely....I've noticed that if I have a bad day, that night I have trouble sleeping, bad dreams, and I get lonely right before I go to sleep. And not to be obsessive, but my mind hasn't drifted far from Sami and what I've screwed up. God I am such an idoit. I love you Sami, and I'm so sorry.
And thats all folks....