(no subject)
A friend of mine, Atrevido, drew this. Based on a self-portrait series I took a few months ago...probably posted the results a few entries ago. I met him last year at the first Capoeira Mandinga batizado, where I got my verde cordao. And we've only recently begun talking to one another. He's quickly become one of my closest confidants--we are so similar it's actually a bit freaky.
It took some time to gather my wits about me, but I finally spoke to my boss this week about hiring me on as a permanent employee. Sad to say it is a no go. However, it is more than likely (I'll say about 90% chance) that he will ask me to come back in september-october for a few more months when the company's next busy season hits. It's another strange situation in a series of strange situations--but quite in my favor this time around.
So...I plan to do a bit of adventuring for the duration of August. I have a few options before me that I'm having difficulty making a decision on. It's not really time sensitive, save for one. But I'll just go with the flow.
I might go to Brazil. I might go backpacking around Europe. I might drive across the country again, training with different capoeira schools and seeing the people of my life. But none of it stands out to me right now. As far as Brazil, I can't tell if I'm afraid or if it just isn't the right time for me to go.
I recently read a book...the Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. International best seller, came out in the late 80s. Has a very simple but effective message: follow your heart. It goes deeper than that, actually, which has spurred me to begin researching religion and philosophy again. The protagonist, a well-traveled shephard, has the choice of remaining a shephard and knowing how he will live the rest of his life. Or he could pursue his personal legend at the behest of a mysterious stranger that appears to guide him after he dreams a dream that would lead him to pursue his dream. And against his better judgement, but perfectly in alignment with his heart---he abandons all that he knows and goes through trial after trial to seek the treasure at the end of the road.
It's interesting. Read it. It's short and well written. I promise it will at least make you feel good if not put your life into perspective. If it does something for you, tell me and I will recommend further reading.
i just don't know where to draw the line anymore. I don't trust my heart. Or maybe I've just never listened to it.