Recap
Follow the cut and learn. Oh, and if you want to share your memories of this day, please do.
Here is the tale of a dysfunctional family on Christmas day.
3 pm - Granny arrival. She doesn't want to drive during night, so forces us all to wake up at dawn to clean up the house, which is a mess. Ugh.
6 pm - Brother arrival. Arms loaded with gifts, the only thing he finds for me when I went out of my way to provide him with a dvd of a show he loves, is a calendar of naked rugby players. And I'm not even a fan of rugby. Luckily, they got great asses.
7 pm - Uncle arrival. With him comes the aunt (bitchy cold woman) and the two babies, 3 1/2 and 1. So immediately, screaming ensues as my poor, lovely dog is getting chased around the house by a clingy Eva (the 3 years old one).
7:30 - DRINKING GAME ON ! My dad, brother, uncle and granny jump on the whisky. I, remotely safe, choose the vodka. Doritos are served. Second baby, Ines, discovered the wonderland that is a Christmas tree, and sings 'whoa ohlala' since she saw it (approximately two minutes after she arrived). Eva is already crying in her mother's arms after having to say hello to my dad (which must be very scary. *rolls eyes*)
8 pm - Third whisky and vodka are on their ways. My mother is ready with food, but, for one, my dad cools down the game and we stay drinking a little more. Granny gets her new plasma tv and I'm insanely jealous.
9 pm - Dinner is served. The oysters makes me want to puke so I pass on those and focuses on good food. My uncle opens a bottle of wine. I concentrate on Coke. And I discover that modeling clay doesn't go well with seafood as Eva throws a bit on my plate.
10 pm - One bottle of wine is down. My brother pulls out the beer for him and I as my dad opens a second bottle of wine. My brother, inebriated, wants to play waiter and end up soaking the tablecloth. My uncle laps it.
11 pm - Questions about my brother's love and sexual life crackle. He stays put, and drinks beer. Granny almost dies when Uncle cracks a joke (no, don't try, I can't remember). Lots of laughing ensues, and I almost die with Granny.
11:30 - Brother is on acid or something as he begins to joke with Granny about something remotely stupid. More beer on it's way. Dad wants some dressing on his potatoes, but it ends up on his shirt, my uncle's shirt, and the curtains behind. Laughing ensues.
Midnight - When Uncle learns that I have a boyfriend, it's the end of sweet little me. Nose in beer (fifth one for bro and I), I feel a bit more than tipsy as grilling begins. When they learn Matt is asian, lame jokes are cracked. My mother sends me sympathetic looks. Granny wants pics.
1 am - Moving back to the living room. Whisky and vodka are once again served. My mother participate, this time. Ines long ago left to sleep after being a cutie most of time, while Eva is still there, playing with modeling clay. I sit down and play with her as my dad puts The Doors on.
2 am - Granny saw pics of Matt and gushes with my mother. Yes, he is, indeed, a cute boy. I know that, thank you. Uncle and brother pokes fun at me and dad laughs in the back, not wanting to piss me off, and thankfully, too drunk to joke well. Eva is falling asleep in her modeling clay, modeling her nose in green, and Aunt decides it's time to go. I'm on my second vodka.
2:30 - House is deadly silent. Everybody is sleeping. And will be nursing a hangover.
Here is the tale of a dysfunctional family on Christmas day.
3 pm - Granny arrival. She doesn't want to drive during night, so forces us all to wake up at dawn to clean up the house, which is a mess. Ugh.
6 pm - Brother arrival. Arms loaded with gifts, the only thing he finds for me when I went out of my way to provide him with a dvd of a show he loves, is a calendar of naked rugby players. And I'm not even a fan of rugby. Luckily, they got great asses.
7 pm - Uncle arrival. With him comes the aunt (bitchy cold woman) and the two babies, 3 1/2 and 1. So immediately, screaming ensues as my poor, lovely dog is getting chased around the house by a clingy Eva (the 3 years old one).
7:30 - DRINKING GAME ON ! My dad, brother, uncle and granny jump on the whisky. I, remotely safe, choose the vodka. Doritos are served. Second baby, Ines, discovered the wonderland that is a Christmas tree, and sings 'whoa ohlala' since she saw it (approximately two minutes after she arrived). Eva is already crying in her mother's arms after having to say hello to my dad (which must be very scary. *rolls eyes*)
8 pm - Third whisky and vodka are on their ways. My mother is ready with food, but, for one, my dad cools down the game and we stay drinking a little more. Granny gets her new plasma tv and I'm insanely jealous.
9 pm - Dinner is served. The oysters makes me want to puke so I pass on those and focuses on good food. My uncle opens a bottle of wine. I concentrate on Coke. And I discover that modeling clay doesn't go well with seafood as Eva throws a bit on my plate.
10 pm - One bottle of wine is down. My brother pulls out the beer for him and I as my dad opens a second bottle of wine. My brother, inebriated, wants to play waiter and end up soaking the tablecloth. My uncle laps it.
11 pm - Questions about my brother's love and sexual life crackle. He stays put, and drinks beer. Granny almost dies when Uncle cracks a joke (no, don't try, I can't remember). Lots of laughing ensues, and I almost die with Granny.
11:30 - Brother is on acid or something as he begins to joke with Granny about something remotely stupid. More beer on it's way. Dad wants some dressing on his potatoes, but it ends up on his shirt, my uncle's shirt, and the curtains behind. Laughing ensues.
Midnight - When Uncle learns that I have a boyfriend, it's the end of sweet little me. Nose in beer (fifth one for bro and I), I feel a bit more than tipsy as grilling begins. When they learn Matt is asian, lame jokes are cracked. My mother sends me sympathetic looks. Granny wants pics.
1 am - Moving back to the living room. Whisky and vodka are once again served. My mother participate, this time. Ines long ago left to sleep after being a cutie most of time, while Eva is still there, playing with modeling clay. I sit down and play with her as my dad puts The Doors on.
2 am - Granny saw pics of Matt and gushes with my mother. Yes, he is, indeed, a cute boy. I know that, thank you. Uncle and brother pokes fun at me and dad laughs in the back, not wanting to piss me off, and thankfully, too drunk to joke well. Eva is falling asleep in her modeling clay, modeling her nose in green, and Aunt decides it's time to go. I'm on my second vodka.
2:30 - House is deadly silent. Everybody is sleeping. And will be nursing a hangover.