Azureous
Title: Azureous
Pairing: Haehyuk
Genre: angst, life
Rating: G
Length: One-shot
Summary: I hope you will not try to find me.
A/N: something i wrote like more than a year ago (even before i turned 13, i think) and abandoned in my fic folder. Senseless.
When tomorrow comes,
I stood there, standing before the person whom I loved the most. He was wearing a tired look and sighed continuously. I knew what’s on his mind. I knew what he was going to say. But I kept my silence, waiting him to start first.
…we would have agreed not to meet again
“I’m going now.” He said, staring at me hesitantly, painful looks were all reflected from his eyes.
“Where?” I tried to gather my shattered self, to mutter a question word, which I verily knew had no reply.
He stared at me, had no word to say.
The cold breezing wind of autumn blew, made both of us shivered from the cold sensation. But it didn’t really affect me, as I frozen at where I stood. As my heart was already frozen by the time he called me to meet him here. Because I knew what he was going to convey.
Sitting alone in a café at the end of the street, I ordered a glass of longing
“We won’t meet again, after this.” He said those words, hardly. I could tell that he tried to hide his trembling voice. His eyes reflected a greater emotion, and the way he stared painfully at me, made it felt like a blade has made its own way through the frozen heart inside my chest.
When tomorrow comes, we can only let our love brush past
I didn’t say a word. I didn’t make a move. I didn’t even blink. I stared at him, blankly.
My brain cells froze just like my heart did. But there was one thing that continuously repeated on my mind,
He’s leaving
Those words echoed on my mind like there was no tomorrow. Something inside me kept forcing my lips to mutter just a word, a simple word that can make him turning back. But the pain in my heart kept making my brain refused to work.
He’s leaving
Before dawn, both of our smiling faces would have become a yellowed photograph
He seems to know the freaking shit happened inside me. He walked closer, inches closer, as he now standing one meter away from me.
“Hyuk.” He called my name. Not like how he called me two weeks ago, not the way he called me with his sweet voice and his usual warm smile. He called me coldly, filled with painful tone, something I really can’t resist.
“Hae…” I whispered under my breath. That was a miracle happened that finally I could say something.
---
16 Years Ago
“Hae, Hae. Let’s play now. I got a new ball from dad, yesterday. Come on.” A five-year-old boy shouted in front of the fence of a pale-yellow painted house. The kid was holding a soccer ball with his left hand, while his right hand pressed the doorbell continuously.
“Ne, Hyukkie~” A faint voice from the house heard. “Mom, I play with Hyukkie ne?” Another excited voice was audibled from inside the house.
The little boy who was holding the ball outside the house tapped his foot to the ground impatiently. “Hae, be quick!” He shouted again. Another boy then emerged, rushed to the shoes rack and wore a pair of sandals he grabbed perfunctory before.
He walked stumblingly toward the other boy as the sandals he wore are not the pairing of each other and obviously not his size.
The other boy chuckled and said, “You wear uncle’s sandals again, Hae.”
The boy called Hae looked at his own feet and pouted. “Your fault.” He said, pointed his index finger to the boy standing outside the fence.
A woman emerged from inside the house. She was wearing an apron and baking gloves, obviously in the process of baking or cooking something when her son’s friend came.
“Ahnyeonghaseyo, auntie.” The boy greeted politely and bowed. The woman saw that and smiled. “Hey, Hyukjae.” She then unlocked the fence’s padlock and let Hyukjae in.
“Hae, stop wearing dad’s sandals.” The woman said after she look her pouted son looking at his own feet. She took a right pair of sandals and gave it to her son.
“It is Hyukkie’s fault for keep urging me to hurry.” The little Donghae answered his mom and kept pouting. He then wore the sandals his mom gave and walked toward his friend.
“Get home before five. Take care you two.” Little Donghae’s mom said and left the two kids to continue what she did earlier.
“Let’s go.” The little Hyukjae said holding little Donghae’s hand and went to the play ground near their houses.
Donghae and Hyukjae are best friends. Both of their parents know each other well and treat each other’s sons as their own children.
Donghae and Hyukjae are close as brothers, they go to the kindergarten together, they always play together, and despite their young age, they could understand each other well.
Donghae’s father has passed away since he was only two, he suffered from lung cancer. Donghae’s mother became strict since then, he protected his son and forbid him to do this or that. But she also understood that his son also needed a happy childhood. So she always allowed his son when it came to playing with Hyukjae.
The two children play the soccer ball happily. Donghae was good at playing soccer. Everyone said that he was really talented. While Hyukjae couldn’t play it really well, but with Donghae’s teaching him, he slowly practiced, and as the time passed by, he could play it quiet good. But still couldn’t be better than Donghae.
Tired playing, the two kids took some rest under a big tree. It was nearly five in the afternoon. As they promised to Donghae’s mom, they have to get back home soon.
The two of them leaned their back to the tree. Both staring at the slides and swings provided at the playground.
“Hae.” The little Hyukjae called Donghae with his nickname. Donghae heard his best friend called, turned his head facing Hyukjae.
“My mom always asks me what I want to do when I am older. Does your mom ask that to you too?” The little Hyukjae wanted to know. He threw his best friend sitting beside him an innocent curious look.
The little Donghae remained silent for a moment. He looked like thought of something deeply. He stared at the back of his hand which placed on his lap.
“Mom never asked me that.” He finally said, shaking his head.
Hyukjae look at his best friend and asked, “Then what will you answer if your mom asks you?”
Donghae once again thought deeply. He looked so serious and even his best friend, Hyukjae never seen him being like that before.
“I want to make my mom happy.” He answered sincerely. Hyukjae looked at his best friend and smiled. He knew that his best friend always cares for his mother.
Both of them maybe didn’t know yet how Donghae’s answer could make every mom in the world touched. Maybe they didn’t know how a simple answer that came out from Donghae’s mouth, could mark deeply on Donghae’s heart itself. Maybe they didn’t know yet how it could make a big change on their lives.
“What did you answer your mom, then?” Donghae asked Hyukjae. In his opinion, he already answered his part, so it was Hyukjae’s turn to tell him what did he answer his mom.
“I said that I want to become a professional soccer player when I’m older. With you.”
---
When tomorrow comes, you would have left me
It has been sixteen years already, since the words came out from my very own mouth.
“… I want to become a professional soccer player when I’m older. With you.”
And I have to remember that not everything can be fulfilled. Not everything can be done, the way I want. Not everything.
When tomorrow comes, I would be wishing upon shooting stars alone
“I want to make my mom happy.”
I opened a white envelope placed beside my bed. Donghae left me a letter, before he left. A letter I always afraid to read.
“Hyuk, when you found this letter, maybe I already arrived at where I headed to. And when you finished reading it, maybe I already started my new life in a new place you will not know.
You know the thing I always dreamt for. You know every single of it. You also know the reason why I left.
I’m sorry I can’t fulfill your dream together with you.
I hope you will not try to find me.
-Donghae
Seventy six words. He left me a letter consists of seventy six words before he left. Before he left me and the memories we built for seventeen years long.
Before he left to make his mom happy.
A ground filled with shattered promises… a yesterday that cannot be pieced back
A passenger plane (Korean Airlines Boeing 703) with 127 people abroad had crashed at Busan (12/08).
… was heading to Taipei, Taiwan.
… All the passengers and crews are died because of the fire explosion. As well as the residents that lived near the location where the crash occurred…
Around me loneliness is spreading
My vision has its focus blurred by tears
I have left the words “I love you”
At the bottom of my heart, placed right by my lips
A/N: this fic was actually intended to be competed in a fic competition but I didn't feel confident of it and now that I looked at it I am so much relieved I didn't send it out. phewwwwww. I didn't actually know it was there until yesterday when I almost lost all of my fics files (including the one which is super duper important, I nearly cried omg), I successfully recovered them and sorted them one by one and I came through this. I thought it was just another unfinished fic but then I was surprised that it's not.
It showed that it's last managed on Feb 2011, means even before my 13th birthday and what surprised me more that it's a hardcore angst. lol. Even back then I dared for dead threats?
Pardon the grammar errors. I didn't beta it so the faults I made back then are still there :X
Comments will always be loved ♥
Pairing: Haehyuk
Genre: angst, life
Rating: G
Length: One-shot
Summary: I hope you will not try to find me.
A/N: something i wrote like more than a year ago (even before i turned 13, i think) and abandoned in my fic folder. Senseless.
When tomorrow comes,
I stood there, standing before the person whom I loved the most. He was wearing a tired look and sighed continuously. I knew what’s on his mind. I knew what he was going to say. But I kept my silence, waiting him to start first.
…we would have agreed not to meet again
“I’m going now.” He said, staring at me hesitantly, painful looks were all reflected from his eyes.
“Where?” I tried to gather my shattered self, to mutter a question word, which I verily knew had no reply.
He stared at me, had no word to say.
The cold breezing wind of autumn blew, made both of us shivered from the cold sensation. But it didn’t really affect me, as I frozen at where I stood. As my heart was already frozen by the time he called me to meet him here. Because I knew what he was going to convey.
Sitting alone in a café at the end of the street, I ordered a glass of longing
“We won’t meet again, after this.” He said those words, hardly. I could tell that he tried to hide his trembling voice. His eyes reflected a greater emotion, and the way he stared painfully at me, made it felt like a blade has made its own way through the frozen heart inside my chest.
When tomorrow comes, we can only let our love brush past
I didn’t say a word. I didn’t make a move. I didn’t even blink. I stared at him, blankly.
My brain cells froze just like my heart did. But there was one thing that continuously repeated on my mind,
He’s leaving
Those words echoed on my mind like there was no tomorrow. Something inside me kept forcing my lips to mutter just a word, a simple word that can make him turning back. But the pain in my heart kept making my brain refused to work.
He’s leaving
Before dawn, both of our smiling faces would have become a yellowed photograph
He seems to know the freaking shit happened inside me. He walked closer, inches closer, as he now standing one meter away from me.
“Hyuk.” He called my name. Not like how he called me two weeks ago, not the way he called me with his sweet voice and his usual warm smile. He called me coldly, filled with painful tone, something I really can’t resist.
“Hae…” I whispered under my breath. That was a miracle happened that finally I could say something.
---
16 Years Ago
“Hae, Hae. Let’s play now. I got a new ball from dad, yesterday. Come on.” A five-year-old boy shouted in front of the fence of a pale-yellow painted house. The kid was holding a soccer ball with his left hand, while his right hand pressed the doorbell continuously.
“Ne, Hyukkie~” A faint voice from the house heard. “Mom, I play with Hyukkie ne?” Another excited voice was audibled from inside the house.
The little boy who was holding the ball outside the house tapped his foot to the ground impatiently. “Hae, be quick!” He shouted again. Another boy then emerged, rushed to the shoes rack and wore a pair of sandals he grabbed perfunctory before.
He walked stumblingly toward the other boy as the sandals he wore are not the pairing of each other and obviously not his size.
The other boy chuckled and said, “You wear uncle’s sandals again, Hae.”
The boy called Hae looked at his own feet and pouted. “Your fault.” He said, pointed his index finger to the boy standing outside the fence.
A woman emerged from inside the house. She was wearing an apron and baking gloves, obviously in the process of baking or cooking something when her son’s friend came.
“Ahnyeonghaseyo, auntie.” The boy greeted politely and bowed. The woman saw that and smiled. “Hey, Hyukjae.” She then unlocked the fence’s padlock and let Hyukjae in.
“Hae, stop wearing dad’s sandals.” The woman said after she look her pouted son looking at his own feet. She took a right pair of sandals and gave it to her son.
“It is Hyukkie’s fault for keep urging me to hurry.” The little Donghae answered his mom and kept pouting. He then wore the sandals his mom gave and walked toward his friend.
“Get home before five. Take care you two.” Little Donghae’s mom said and left the two kids to continue what she did earlier.
“Let’s go.” The little Hyukjae said holding little Donghae’s hand and went to the play ground near their houses.
Donghae and Hyukjae are best friends. Both of their parents know each other well and treat each other’s sons as their own children.
Donghae and Hyukjae are close as brothers, they go to the kindergarten together, they always play together, and despite their young age, they could understand each other well.
Donghae’s father has passed away since he was only two, he suffered from lung cancer. Donghae’s mother became strict since then, he protected his son and forbid him to do this or that. But she also understood that his son also needed a happy childhood. So she always allowed his son when it came to playing with Hyukjae.
The two children play the soccer ball happily. Donghae was good at playing soccer. Everyone said that he was really talented. While Hyukjae couldn’t play it really well, but with Donghae’s teaching him, he slowly practiced, and as the time passed by, he could play it quiet good. But still couldn’t be better than Donghae.
Tired playing, the two kids took some rest under a big tree. It was nearly five in the afternoon. As they promised to Donghae’s mom, they have to get back home soon.
The two of them leaned their back to the tree. Both staring at the slides and swings provided at the playground.
“Hae.” The little Hyukjae called Donghae with his nickname. Donghae heard his best friend called, turned his head facing Hyukjae.
“My mom always asks me what I want to do when I am older. Does your mom ask that to you too?” The little Hyukjae wanted to know. He threw his best friend sitting beside him an innocent curious look.
The little Donghae remained silent for a moment. He looked like thought of something deeply. He stared at the back of his hand which placed on his lap.
“Mom never asked me that.” He finally said, shaking his head.
Hyukjae look at his best friend and asked, “Then what will you answer if your mom asks you?”
Donghae once again thought deeply. He looked so serious and even his best friend, Hyukjae never seen him being like that before.
“I want to make my mom happy.” He answered sincerely. Hyukjae looked at his best friend and smiled. He knew that his best friend always cares for his mother.
Both of them maybe didn’t know yet how Donghae’s answer could make every mom in the world touched. Maybe they didn’t know how a simple answer that came out from Donghae’s mouth, could mark deeply on Donghae’s heart itself. Maybe they didn’t know yet how it could make a big change on their lives.
“What did you answer your mom, then?” Donghae asked Hyukjae. In his opinion, he already answered his part, so it was Hyukjae’s turn to tell him what did he answer his mom.
“I said that I want to become a professional soccer player when I’m older. With you.”
---
When tomorrow comes, you would have left me
It has been sixteen years already, since the words came out from my very own mouth.
“… I want to become a professional soccer player when I’m older. With you.”
And I have to remember that not everything can be fulfilled. Not everything can be done, the way I want. Not everything.
When tomorrow comes, I would be wishing upon shooting stars alone
“I want to make my mom happy.”
I opened a white envelope placed beside my bed. Donghae left me a letter, before he left. A letter I always afraid to read.
“Hyuk, when you found this letter, maybe I already arrived at where I headed to. And when you finished reading it, maybe I already started my new life in a new place you will not know.
You know the thing I always dreamt for. You know every single of it. You also know the reason why I left.
I’m sorry I can’t fulfill your dream together with you.
I hope you will not try to find me.
-Donghae
Seventy six words. He left me a letter consists of seventy six words before he left. Before he left me and the memories we built for seventeen years long.
Before he left to make his mom happy.
A ground filled with shattered promises… a yesterday that cannot be pieced back
A passenger plane (Korean Airlines Boeing 703) with 127 people abroad had crashed at Busan (12/08).
… was heading to Taipei, Taiwan.
… All the passengers and crews are died because of the fire explosion. As well as the residents that lived near the location where the crash occurred…
Around me loneliness is spreading
My vision has its focus blurred by tears
I have left the words “I love you”
At the bottom of my heart, placed right by my lips
A/N: this fic was actually intended to be competed in a fic competition but I didn't feel confident of it and now that I looked at it I am so much relieved I didn't send it out. phewwwwww. I didn't actually know it was there until yesterday when I almost lost all of my fics files (including the one which is super duper important, I nearly cried omg), I successfully recovered them and sorted them one by one and I came through this. I thought it was just another unfinished fic but then I was surprised that it's not.
It showed that it's last managed on Feb 2011, means even before my 13th birthday and what surprised me more that it's a hardcore angst. lol. Even back then I dared for dead threats?
Pardon the grammar errors. I didn't beta it so the faults I made back then are still there :X
Comments will always be loved ♥