Blatantly stolen Jewish haiku ...
Lacking fins or tail
The gefilte fish swims with
Great difficulty.
*****
Beyond Valium,
Peace is knowing one’s child
Is an internist.
*****
On Passover we
Opened door for Elijah
Now our dog is gone.
*****
The shivah visit:
So sorry about your loss.
Now back to my problems.
*****
Mom, please! There is no
Need to put that dinner roll
In your pocketbook.
*****
Seven-foot Jews in
The NBA slam-dunking!
My alarm clock rings.
*****
Sorry I’m not home
To take your call. At the tone
Please state your bad news.
*****
Is one Nobel Prize
So much to ask from a child
After all I’ve done?
*****
Today, mild shvitzing.
Tomorrow, so hot you’ll plotz.
Five-day forecast: feh
*****
Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt.
Shlemiel. Shlimazl. Meshuganah
Oy! To be fluent!
*****
Quietly murmured
At Saturday Synagogue services,
Yanks 5, Red Sox 3.
*****
A lovely nose ring,
Excuse me while I put my
Head in the oven.
****
Hard to tell under the lights.
White Yarmulke or
Male-pattern baldness
The gefilte fish swims with
Great difficulty.
*****
Beyond Valium,
Peace is knowing one’s child
Is an internist.
*****
On Passover we
Opened door for Elijah
Now our dog is gone.
*****
The shivah visit:
So sorry about your loss.
Now back to my problems.
*****
Mom, please! There is no
Need to put that dinner roll
In your pocketbook.
*****
Seven-foot Jews in
The NBA slam-dunking!
My alarm clock rings.
*****
Sorry I’m not home
To take your call. At the tone
Please state your bad news.
*****
Is one Nobel Prize
So much to ask from a child
After all I’ve done?
*****
Today, mild shvitzing.
Tomorrow, so hot you’ll plotz.
Five-day forecast: feh
*****
Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt.
Shlemiel. Shlimazl. Meshuganah
Oy! To be fluent!
*****
Quietly murmured
At Saturday Synagogue services,
Yanks 5, Red Sox 3.
*****
A lovely nose ring,
Excuse me while I put my
Head in the oven.
****
Hard to tell under the lights.
White Yarmulke or
Male-pattern baldness