The MySpace elective withdrawal
Originally published at Words. Please leave any comments there.
It seems that when one cancels a MySpace account, it is expected that one fills a block with a narrative, specifying, nay, apologizing for the atrocity one is presumably committing by terminating the ability of this specific e-branch of the News Corporation from collecting exact marketing data for your demographic, and viewing what I’ve approximated to be a number of ads that could only be computed as a function of your screen resolution.
I saw this as an opportunity not to absolve myself of guilt, but to seize an opportunity to communicate with the higher ups, to let them know exactly why I felt my actions were justifiable, and even so, necessary:
Where to start; so many reasons, yet the textbox yields only so much space.
First off, the technological backing of this site seems to be comprised entirely out of dot matrix printers handled by minimum wage, half-blind alcoholics who will, on occasion, deliver a request to someone who can begin to service a reply.
Honestly, for what the competing social network sites have managed, even with asynchronous calls, you can’t seem to handle on a daily basis with the most straight forward GET-driven request. Your code base has sucked too many times to remain enjoyable, purely on the concept of being unresponsive and apologetic for its incompetence, but never repaired.
Secondly, the implemented spam filters, if any, are a joke, and I would consider further an abortion, when compared to any other such system. In the recent past my usage experience consisted solely of clearing my inbox of automated requests to check out her “hot new super profile,” then promptly logging out, because accomplishing much more involves dealing with your half-assed barely operational back-end architecture.
Thirdly, your profile editors are an invitation for unwarranted remote code execution on the negative side of the spectrum, and an enormous resource drain on the positive side, as the only people to ever use the feature are fourteen year olds bent on either world conquest via worm, or over-stylized hyper shiny multi-layer transparency.
In conclusion, your operation has gone from one of the leading social networks, to a virtual cesspool of garbage, and I see no turning back. If anything, I wish that you not cease, nor improve what you do. But keep on keeping on, hoping that you will continue to attract generations of half-witted teenagers who will at the very least, stay off the rest of the internet.
Posted here because, I’m told, it’s relatively interesting or entertaining to read.