[FIC] Perfect
Title: Perfect
Author: tehah_hero
Length: Oneshot
Pairing: Yunjae
Rating: R
Genre: Angst, Romance
Warning: Suicide Attempt~
Disclaimer: I love Jaejoong~ I want him for myself~ But he isnt mine! =="
Summary: A confession leads to disaster...
Made a wrong turn, once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that`s alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistread, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss, no way it`s all good, it didn`t slow me down
The minute he broke the news of him being attracted to boys rather than girls, was like the moment of his life that`s he would never ever forgot. He was beaten into a bloody pulp by his schoolmates who used to be his bestfriends. Why? Because he lived in a secluded province of South Korea, where boys were supposed to like girls and vice versa.
Once he got home, he was again beaten by his parents. Such news travelled faster than wind you inhaled in a small village of the province.
Dad thought he was a disgraced of the Kim family.
Dad thought he should be swallowed by the ground for having such child in his family.
Mom thought she should went for abortion of her last pregnancy 18 years ago.
His sisters thought that they shouldn`t love him like he was their most treasured brother.
For months Jaejoong got abused, neglected, alienated by his biological family and his so-called bestfriends, he finally ran away from his hometown, away from bunch of homophobic who thought homosexual was a contagious disease. School was long forgotten.
He arrived in Seoul. the heart of Korea, without much money with him, some worn out shirts and a sore heart. His shelters for few days were the bus stops, train station, and the streets.
Then, on a rainy days, he met a kind-hearted man with a clean face, no trace of scars or oil. Mr.Cha was a good guy who provided him with shelter that was an apartment, food and clothes. He provided him anything he needed that was when Mr.Cha began to touch him in inappropriate parts of his body. He thought that Mr.Cha was trying to be comfortable around him. How naive is he.
Mr.Cha was like an uncle to him, slightly younger than his dad. But when Mr.Cha pushed him to topple over the sofa, hovered above him and his face wore that disgusting smirk, Jaejoong pushed him hard. He ran and ran, till he couldn`t feel his legs anymore, numbness took over him. He collapsed in front of an old cafe. Pitch black enveloped his conciousness.
Mistaken, always second guessing
Underestimated, look, I`m still around
Pretty, pretty please, don`t you ever, ever feel
Like you`re less than, less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you`re nothing you`re perfect to me
Jaejoong jogged a little to the table at the end of the cafe. Jotting down the orders, he bowed to the couple and fled to the kitchen, passing the order to the chef, an old grandma who took him in.
Grandma Shim was like an angel to him. The day where he fainted in front of her cafe, she helped him, who was shivering due to the coldness of the night. Her only family, Shim Changmin was a good boy with a sharp tongue.
Changmin was the only friend he had at the time.
Everytime some perverts harrassed him, trapping him by the wall, Changmin would came to his rescue.
He thought Changmin was a Superman.
He told the Shim family about his sexual orientation. Changmin just shrugged off and continue to eat his third plate of lunch, Grandma Shim just smiled and kissed his head. Her wrinkled fingers brushed off his hot trails of tears, that he unconsiously shed. He hugged the old woman and sobbed into her chest, which made her hugged him back.
You`re so mean when you talk
About yourself, you`re wrong
Change the voices in your head
Make them like you instead
So complicated, look how big you`ll make it
Jaejoong hated his feminine face.He hated it when people mistook him as a girl.
Jaejoong hated his small waist.
He hated it when people thought he wasn`t capable to lift up some boxes.
He hated his pale skin.
People would noticed him right away in public.
He hated all the attentions he got from unfamiliar people.
Jaejoong hated his clumsy self.
He hated it when he broke plates and bowls.
He hated it when Changmin rushed to his injury.
Why he didn`t have a strong body?
Why he didn`t have a masculine face?
He was stupid.
He didn`t finish his studies.
He didn`t have any talents.
He loved to cook but he was afraid of people judgements.
All his negative thoughts vanished completely when he met a tall guy, small face with a mole on top of his lips, strong-built body, fierce gaze, his smile melt him.
Jaejoong thought himself was beautiful.
Jaejoong thought he needed that guy`s attention.
Jaejoong thought that guy should attend to his injury instead of Changmin.
His inner barrier shattered into dust when that guy saved him from bunch of drunk men.
"Yunho. Jung Yunho."
Jaejoong thought his heart had stopped beating when Yunho took his hand.
Jaejoong had fallen in love.
Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game
It`s enough, I`ve done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, see you do the same
Pretty, pretty please, don`t you ever, ever feel
Like you`re less than, less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you`re nothing, you`re perfect to me
For a teenager like him, Jaejoong thought he was a jinx.
When he finally realised what he wanted to achieve, to grab happiness, he was alienated by his family, his friends.
He was mocked, cursed, and some would just spat on him, disgusted by a homo.
For months, he was abused physically and mentally by his family, bullied by his schoolmates.
He cried and cried till there were no more tears to be shed.
His parents hated him.
His siblings and friends felt disgusted just by looking at his shadow.
That till one fateful day where his anger erupted.
He screamed at his mom, he cursed his sisters, he punched his schoolmates, and he pushed his dad down the stairs.
Dad didn`t move, blood oozing out from his head.
Mom gasped.
Sisters crowded and wailed around their dad.
Jaejoong ran away.
The whole world stares while I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in lying and we tried, tried, tried
But we tried too hard, it`s waste of my time
Done looking for the critics `cause they`re everywhere
They don`t like my genes, they don`t get my hair
Strange ourselves and we do it all the time
When one of his sisters found him in Seoul, she slapped Jaejoong. She cried and cried while she clung on his arm.
She told him that dad had lost his memories.
Jaejoong`s breathes hitched. He should be happy right?
His dad didn`t remember about him, a disgraceful son. Jaejoong tears rolled down profusely.
It was his fault! He was the reason of his dad`s memories lost. Jaejoong ran.
Ran from his sister. Ran from the reality.
He drowned himself in alcohol. Bottles of bottles of beers, he drank like there was no tomorrow. He inhaled and exhaled the cigarette`s smoke. He dropped himself in the bathtub, full of water, naked. Bottles of beers lying on the floor, cigarette in between his lips. Puff of smokes clouded his vision. He drank again. cigarette was dipped into the water.
Tears rolled down again.
In his hand, a rozor blade of Yunho`s. He stared and stared at the razor.
Yunho`s.
It was Yunho`s razor.
Tears rolled down like a broken dam. He loved Yunho. He loved that guy too much. But he wasn`t worth it for a good guy like Yunho. Yunho deserved someone better. Yunho doesn`t need a worthless guy like him as a lover, his family didn`t need a disgraceful child like him, the world ddin`t need him.
Slowly, he slit his wrists. Jaejoong hissed in pain.
Red.
He loved that colour. Full of energy and passion.
He was attempting to slit his throat when the bathroom`s door bursted open, revealing a breathing mess Yunho.
Jaejoong smiled at him but then he hugged his knees to his chest, sobbing.
The razor in his hand was snatched away by Yunho, who threw it somewhere in the bathroom.
Yunho sneaked an arm under Jaejoong`s knees and the other under Jaejoong`s armpit. He carried the thin guy out from the bathroom and put him on the bed, their bed. Yunho wrapped a fluffy towel around his naked form, then he attended to his injury. Yunho dried the blood on Jaejoong`s wrist with a clean towel before he dipped some alcohol on the cotton wool. He put the cotton wool on Jaejoong`s wrist making him flinched.
While wrapping a cloth on Jaejoong`s wrist, Yunho broke into tears making Jaejoong broke down as well.
Yunho sobbed while mumbling about how he couldn`t live without Jaejoong. Yunho hugged Jaejoong tightly on the bed.
Yunho kept on promising how he would make their life better and how he`ll make Jaejoong happy. Jaejoong kept on nodding his head on Yunho`s chest while mumbling apologies for his suicide attempt. Both of them dozed off in each other`s arms, faces streaked with tears.
Jaejoong was hoping for a happy life with Yunho and so did Yunho.
Why do we do that?
Who do I do that?
Why do I do that?
Why did he ran away?
Because the world is unfair like that.
Why did he tried to commit suicide?
Because he was tired of this sick world.
Why did he stayed?
Because he loved him.
Oooh, pretty, pretty, pretty
Pretty, pretty please, don`t you ever, ever feel
Like you`re less that, less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you`re nothing, you`re perfect to me
You`re perfect to me
You`re perfect, you`re perfect to me
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you`re less than, less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you`re nothing, you`re perfect to me
He didnt remembr how he ended up naked on their bed, all he could recalled was when he attended Yoochun and Junsu`s small party. He knew both of them through Yunho. Yoochun and Junsu were a married couple, they got married in America. For their Korean friends, they threw a small private party to celebrate their wedding. He did drink some wine but only a little since Yunho kept on nagging him about alcohol`s effects. How come he didn`t remember? He sneaked a bottle of wine in Yoosu`s bathroom when Yunho was busy chatting around.
He writhed under Yunho when he bit at the spot at the back of his ear.
Yunho had always been a gentle lover, whether they were making love or not.
Yunho had always whispered those there words into his ears without reasons.
Yes. He was as corny as that but Jaejoong loved that side of him.
His first love was Yunho.
His first kiss was Yunho.
His first lover was Yunho.
His first time of having sex was with Yunho.
Jaejoong thrashed on the bed when Yunho`s fingers made their way into his lubed hole. His hole clenching tightly making Yunho soothed him down his kisses. When Yunho pulled his fingers out, Jaejoong whined at the sudden gushed of cold wind.
I Love You.
Those words never left Yunho`s lips when he slipped his length into Jaejoong.
When Jaejoong shed tears due to the pain, Yunho would always mumbled apologies which made Jaejoong felt better. When Yunho began thrusting in him while pumping Jaejoong`s length, Jaejoong would always chanted how he loved Yunho, like a mantra.
Jaejoong felt like he was completed when Yunho came in him, tainted his hole with his love seeds.
When Yunho helped Jaejoong to reached his peak, he felt like Yunho was his life.
But of course sex was not everyting.
He loved Yunho because Yunho was Yunho. He loved Yunho for who he was.
After Yunho slipped put of him, he snuggled to Yunho`s warm and inviting chest.
When Yunho asked him to marry him when he was in the brink of dozing off, Jaejoong`s eyes snapped open.
Yunho smiled tenderly at him, the love of his life. Yunho repeated his question when Jaejoong stayed silent for some minutes.
Jaejoong nodded his head like a child, a cute one. Jaejoong flung his arms around Yunho`s neck, hugging him for his dear life, happy tears rolled down for the first time.
There was no romantic proposal.
There was no extravagant ring, just a simple silver ring.
But Jaejoong couldn`t care less, as long as he got his Yunho to himself.
His life was brighter when they successfully adopted a baby boy into their life after one year of marriage.
Jung Moonbin was the new addition into their small family.
"I Love You.."
Life is perfect like that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/n: This is the first time i took so many days to complete a oneshot!! U___U
And this is my first angst fic too.. I never wrote one before.. ><
Comments are loved!!
my Twitter: @tehahhero
Author: tehah_hero
Length: Oneshot
Pairing: Yunjae
Rating: R
Genre: Angst, Romance
Warning: Suicide Attempt~
Disclaimer: I love Jaejoong~ I want him for myself~ But he isnt mine! =="
Summary: A confession leads to disaster...
Made a wrong turn, once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that`s alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistread, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss, no way it`s all good, it didn`t slow me down
The minute he broke the news of him being attracted to boys rather than girls, was like the moment of his life that`s he would never ever forgot. He was beaten into a bloody pulp by his schoolmates who used to be his bestfriends. Why? Because he lived in a secluded province of South Korea, where boys were supposed to like girls and vice versa.
Once he got home, he was again beaten by his parents. Such news travelled faster than wind you inhaled in a small village of the province.
Dad thought he was a disgraced of the Kim family.
Dad thought he should be swallowed by the ground for having such child in his family.
Mom thought she should went for abortion of her last pregnancy 18 years ago.
His sisters thought that they shouldn`t love him like he was their most treasured brother.
For months Jaejoong got abused, neglected, alienated by his biological family and his so-called bestfriends, he finally ran away from his hometown, away from bunch of homophobic who thought homosexual was a contagious disease. School was long forgotten.
He arrived in Seoul. the heart of Korea, without much money with him, some worn out shirts and a sore heart. His shelters for few days were the bus stops, train station, and the streets.
Then, on a rainy days, he met a kind-hearted man with a clean face, no trace of scars or oil. Mr.Cha was a good guy who provided him with shelter that was an apartment, food and clothes. He provided him anything he needed that was when Mr.Cha began to touch him in inappropriate parts of his body. He thought that Mr.Cha was trying to be comfortable around him. How naive is he.
Mr.Cha was like an uncle to him, slightly younger than his dad. But when Mr.Cha pushed him to topple over the sofa, hovered above him and his face wore that disgusting smirk, Jaejoong pushed him hard. He ran and ran, till he couldn`t feel his legs anymore, numbness took over him. He collapsed in front of an old cafe. Pitch black enveloped his conciousness.
Mistaken, always second guessing
Underestimated, look, I`m still around
Pretty, pretty please, don`t you ever, ever feel
Like you`re less than, less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you`re nothing you`re perfect to me
Jaejoong jogged a little to the table at the end of the cafe. Jotting down the orders, he bowed to the couple and fled to the kitchen, passing the order to the chef, an old grandma who took him in.
Grandma Shim was like an angel to him. The day where he fainted in front of her cafe, she helped him, who was shivering due to the coldness of the night. Her only family, Shim Changmin was a good boy with a sharp tongue.
Changmin was the only friend he had at the time.
Everytime some perverts harrassed him, trapping him by the wall, Changmin would came to his rescue.
He thought Changmin was a Superman.
He told the Shim family about his sexual orientation. Changmin just shrugged off and continue to eat his third plate of lunch, Grandma Shim just smiled and kissed his head. Her wrinkled fingers brushed off his hot trails of tears, that he unconsiously shed. He hugged the old woman and sobbed into her chest, which made her hugged him back.
You`re so mean when you talk
About yourself, you`re wrong
Change the voices in your head
Make them like you instead
So complicated, look how big you`ll make it
Jaejoong hated his feminine face.He hated it when people mistook him as a girl.
Jaejoong hated his small waist.
He hated it when people thought he wasn`t capable to lift up some boxes.
He hated his pale skin.
People would noticed him right away in public.
He hated all the attentions he got from unfamiliar people.
Jaejoong hated his clumsy self.
He hated it when he broke plates and bowls.
He hated it when Changmin rushed to his injury.
Why he didn`t have a strong body?
Why he didn`t have a masculine face?
He was stupid.
He didn`t finish his studies.
He didn`t have any talents.
He loved to cook but he was afraid of people judgements.
All his negative thoughts vanished completely when he met a tall guy, small face with a mole on top of his lips, strong-built body, fierce gaze, his smile melt him.
Jaejoong thought himself was beautiful.
Jaejoong thought he needed that guy`s attention.
Jaejoong thought that guy should attend to his injury instead of Changmin.
His inner barrier shattered into dust when that guy saved him from bunch of drunk men.
"Yunho. Jung Yunho."
Jaejoong thought his heart had stopped beating when Yunho took his hand.
Jaejoong had fallen in love.
Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game
It`s enough, I`ve done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, see you do the same
Pretty, pretty please, don`t you ever, ever feel
Like you`re less than, less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you`re nothing, you`re perfect to me
For a teenager like him, Jaejoong thought he was a jinx.
When he finally realised what he wanted to achieve, to grab happiness, he was alienated by his family, his friends.
He was mocked, cursed, and some would just spat on him, disgusted by a homo.
For months, he was abused physically and mentally by his family, bullied by his schoolmates.
He cried and cried till there were no more tears to be shed.
His parents hated him.
His siblings and friends felt disgusted just by looking at his shadow.
That till one fateful day where his anger erupted.
He screamed at his mom, he cursed his sisters, he punched his schoolmates, and he pushed his dad down the stairs.
Dad didn`t move, blood oozing out from his head.
Mom gasped.
Sisters crowded and wailed around their dad.
Jaejoong ran away.
The whole world stares while I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in lying and we tried, tried, tried
But we tried too hard, it`s waste of my time
Done looking for the critics `cause they`re everywhere
They don`t like my genes, they don`t get my hair
Strange ourselves and we do it all the time
When one of his sisters found him in Seoul, she slapped Jaejoong. She cried and cried while she clung on his arm.
She told him that dad had lost his memories.
Jaejoong`s breathes hitched. He should be happy right?
His dad didn`t remember about him, a disgraceful son. Jaejoong tears rolled down profusely.
It was his fault! He was the reason of his dad`s memories lost. Jaejoong ran.
Ran from his sister. Ran from the reality.
He drowned himself in alcohol. Bottles of bottles of beers, he drank like there was no tomorrow. He inhaled and exhaled the cigarette`s smoke. He dropped himself in the bathtub, full of water, naked. Bottles of beers lying on the floor, cigarette in between his lips. Puff of smokes clouded his vision. He drank again. cigarette was dipped into the water.
Tears rolled down again.
In his hand, a rozor blade of Yunho`s. He stared and stared at the razor.
Yunho`s.
It was Yunho`s razor.
Tears rolled down like a broken dam. He loved Yunho. He loved that guy too much. But he wasn`t worth it for a good guy like Yunho. Yunho deserved someone better. Yunho doesn`t need a worthless guy like him as a lover, his family didn`t need a disgraceful child like him, the world ddin`t need him.
Slowly, he slit his wrists. Jaejoong hissed in pain.
Red.
He loved that colour. Full of energy and passion.
He was attempting to slit his throat when the bathroom`s door bursted open, revealing a breathing mess Yunho.
Jaejoong smiled at him but then he hugged his knees to his chest, sobbing.
The razor in his hand was snatched away by Yunho, who threw it somewhere in the bathroom.
Yunho sneaked an arm under Jaejoong`s knees and the other under Jaejoong`s armpit. He carried the thin guy out from the bathroom and put him on the bed, their bed. Yunho wrapped a fluffy towel around his naked form, then he attended to his injury. Yunho dried the blood on Jaejoong`s wrist with a clean towel before he dipped some alcohol on the cotton wool. He put the cotton wool on Jaejoong`s wrist making him flinched.
While wrapping a cloth on Jaejoong`s wrist, Yunho broke into tears making Jaejoong broke down as well.
Yunho sobbed while mumbling about how he couldn`t live without Jaejoong. Yunho hugged Jaejoong tightly on the bed.
Yunho kept on promising how he would make their life better and how he`ll make Jaejoong happy. Jaejoong kept on nodding his head on Yunho`s chest while mumbling apologies for his suicide attempt. Both of them dozed off in each other`s arms, faces streaked with tears.
Jaejoong was hoping for a happy life with Yunho and so did Yunho.
Why do we do that?
Who do I do that?
Why do I do that?
Why did he ran away?
Because the world is unfair like that.
Why did he tried to commit suicide?
Because he was tired of this sick world.
Why did he stayed?
Because he loved him.
Oooh, pretty, pretty, pretty
Pretty, pretty please, don`t you ever, ever feel
Like you`re less that, less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you`re nothing, you`re perfect to me
You`re perfect to me
You`re perfect, you`re perfect to me
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you`re less than, less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you`re nothing, you`re perfect to me
He didnt remembr how he ended up naked on their bed, all he could recalled was when he attended Yoochun and Junsu`s small party. He knew both of them through Yunho. Yoochun and Junsu were a married couple, they got married in America. For their Korean friends, they threw a small private party to celebrate their wedding. He did drink some wine but only a little since Yunho kept on nagging him about alcohol`s effects. How come he didn`t remember? He sneaked a bottle of wine in Yoosu`s bathroom when Yunho was busy chatting around.
He writhed under Yunho when he bit at the spot at the back of his ear.
Yunho had always been a gentle lover, whether they were making love or not.
Yunho had always whispered those there words into his ears without reasons.
Yes. He was as corny as that but Jaejoong loved that side of him.
His first love was Yunho.
His first kiss was Yunho.
His first lover was Yunho.
His first time of having sex was with Yunho.
Jaejoong thrashed on the bed when Yunho`s fingers made their way into his lubed hole. His hole clenching tightly making Yunho soothed him down his kisses. When Yunho pulled his fingers out, Jaejoong whined at the sudden gushed of cold wind.
I Love You.
Those words never left Yunho`s lips when he slipped his length into Jaejoong.
When Jaejoong shed tears due to the pain, Yunho would always mumbled apologies which made Jaejoong felt better. When Yunho began thrusting in him while pumping Jaejoong`s length, Jaejoong would always chanted how he loved Yunho, like a mantra.
Jaejoong felt like he was completed when Yunho came in him, tainted his hole with his love seeds.
When Yunho helped Jaejoong to reached his peak, he felt like Yunho was his life.
But of course sex was not everyting.
He loved Yunho because Yunho was Yunho. He loved Yunho for who he was.
After Yunho slipped put of him, he snuggled to Yunho`s warm and inviting chest.
When Yunho asked him to marry him when he was in the brink of dozing off, Jaejoong`s eyes snapped open.
Yunho smiled tenderly at him, the love of his life. Yunho repeated his question when Jaejoong stayed silent for some minutes.
Jaejoong nodded his head like a child, a cute one. Jaejoong flung his arms around Yunho`s neck, hugging him for his dear life, happy tears rolled down for the first time.
There was no romantic proposal.
There was no extravagant ring, just a simple silver ring.
But Jaejoong couldn`t care less, as long as he got his Yunho to himself.
His life was brighter when they successfully adopted a baby boy into their life after one year of marriage.
Jung Moonbin was the new addition into their small family.
"I Love You.."
Life is perfect like that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/n: This is the first time i took so many days to complete a oneshot!! U___U
And this is my first angst fic too.. I never wrote one before.. ><
Comments are loved!!
my Twitter: @tehahhero