I feel so weird right now
I dunno what's going on with me. I haven't gone this long without a girlfriend or someone that is close enough to my heart anymore. There is one girl, she's moving here. I like her, there's no denying that. I just don't think she likes me that way, and it's kinda expected, and I dunno.. I really want to try it with her, but I feel like that's because I just want to be with someone dearly. I'm not desperate for a girl, I just kinda... turn into this giant silent person when I do. I need to carry someone, I want to save someone. I want someone, and she seems to be the girl I want to be with now. I just don't know because she found out her affections for her best friend where she's at now and loves him.. She knows they can't do anything about eachother cause she's moving, and I feel kinda dirty trying to move in after that.. I just.. I dunno anymore, why can't I find someone that I know will be someone I can be with? Everyone has things that make them still feel great. Having someone know they wanna be with me is what I want so much.. I just want to.. I dunno anymore.. I'm so confused with myself. I want to be loved, more than just friend love though... Like... I want to spend the evening with someone cuddling underneath the sunset and watch the stars come out while it turns night.. I don't think I'm a good bf.. Everyone I date breaks up with me, like, it's seriously something I didn't do to make them feel special enough. I dunno... I'm tired