what's ahead?
i can't help but think that i may not be around long enough to see what my future will be like. it's a stupid thing to think but it feels like it sometimes...who knows? the way i see it i dun know what my purpose is? what my being here is for? i dun see myself going anywhere,dun see myself achieving much in life...i just dun see my point if being around. it's scary to have thoughts like that but i do feel that way. I DO want to see what's in store for me...I DO want things to happen...I DO want to see the end of the rainbow...but somehow i just can't see anything right now.
maybe nothing good is happening for me because no point having good things when you not going to be around for long...why waste those good moments for someone who's not going to enjoy it long enough?
no i'm not suicidal...i'm not going to kill myself...i'm not there yet...i dun think i ever will. perhaps that is way i feel that i might as well just take wat i can get for now because who knows wat can happened tomorrow...even if i know it will hurt me or cause me unnecessary sadness. damn it...i think i've just been idle for too long. my emotions are running wild and i have no way of directing them. i just dun want to think anymore...
maybe nothing good is happening for me because no point having good things when you not going to be around for long...why waste those good moments for someone who's not going to enjoy it long enough?
no i'm not suicidal...i'm not going to kill myself...i'm not there yet...i dun think i ever will. perhaps that is way i feel that i might as well just take wat i can get for now because who knows wat can happened tomorrow...even if i know it will hurt me or cause me unnecessary sadness. damn it...i think i've just been idle for too long. my emotions are running wild and i have no way of directing them. i just dun want to think anymore...