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[teh_sp00ky]

Anyone who knows me could tell you that I'm one of the most gutteral, unspiritual people you could ever hope to meet. I blaspheme daily, I despise the world around me, I could put a bullet through a toddler's head without feeling remorse. I'm just a cold, bitter son of a bitch. This could be considered a problem by most people, but it's just the

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[semigrounded]

I spent most of my high school life over exaggerating my situations to make them special and conforming to me. I took events that many people had gone through and made them cataclysmic for myself, and just for myself, because I couldn't move on. Over time I would shuck outside ambitions because my focus, my absolute sense of self was so whole heartedly devoted to the past and it's troubles.
Then I found god.
....Kidding. But still, you say your moral infrastructure fell when dissention crept in on your religious faith, but rather then building your own moral infrastructure and your own sense of self, and essentially moving on to another focus with new motivations and goals, you decided you would rather fixate on whatever it is you lost and subsequently feed and vomit up the excretions and dead skin of the Christian institution.
Maybe, and I may be overstating myself, Jesus told you to Move the fuck on, to find an interest, to pursue it, and to learn that those past indiscretions, all of them, whatever they are, are not an enduring process.
Eventually you should be able to look back on things, but you can't look back on something you're still carrying with you. You just see how long the trail is of what you keep by your side, fill with remorse, and you keep walking on.