Thoughts
These are just random thoughts of how I'm feeling about life right now. If they are hard to follow sorry.
There are many things I miss. My life is so unbearably predictable it’s strangling and yet in the midst of all this monotony I find myself thinking, pondering about my life a little too much. The more I think the worse it gets because I always come to the same realizations: that which I dream and wish to achieve can never come true. That which I loved in the past is gone forever, and the life I am living now is depressing and unfulfilling.
The life I knew before is gone.
I have always said a home is where you are at the time, and for a long time I think I believed that. But now that it’s truly gone it breaks my heart. Things change, die, start a new but it is so true to say that you can never fully appreciate something until it’s gone.
So now I’m stuck, remembering the good times I’ve had, dreaming of times that don’t yet exist and perhaps never will, and hanging on for dear life right now so I don’t sink, trying to find some meaning some happiness somewhere. It is there, it’s just very hard to see some days.
When one is stuck in a rut, the only way to get out is to pick yourself out, find a new passion, find a new joie de vivre. Stop complaining, stop feeling sorry for yourself, get out there and do something about it.
I believe all this is true.
But how?
Things are so easy to say, never as easy to do especially when you have no starting point.
Sometimes we have all these thoughts and needs running through our heads our very being just hoping, pleading with anyone to listen to the signs and care, help. But they don’t. How can they when they don’t know and you can’t tell them.
In the end I think we are all lost. Trying desperately to find a niche, a place of peace of normalcy and of compassion.
It seems to me that nobody really achieves it.
So we continue to wander.
Such is life I guess.
There are many things I miss. My life is so unbearably predictable it’s strangling and yet in the midst of all this monotony I find myself thinking, pondering about my life a little too much. The more I think the worse it gets because I always come to the same realizations: that which I dream and wish to achieve can never come true. That which I loved in the past is gone forever, and the life I am living now is depressing and unfulfilling.
The life I knew before is gone.
I have always said a home is where you are at the time, and for a long time I think I believed that. But now that it’s truly gone it breaks my heart. Things change, die, start a new but it is so true to say that you can never fully appreciate something until it’s gone.
So now I’m stuck, remembering the good times I’ve had, dreaming of times that don’t yet exist and perhaps never will, and hanging on for dear life right now so I don’t sink, trying to find some meaning some happiness somewhere. It is there, it’s just very hard to see some days.
When one is stuck in a rut, the only way to get out is to pick yourself out, find a new passion, find a new joie de vivre. Stop complaining, stop feeling sorry for yourself, get out there and do something about it.
I believe all this is true.
But how?
Things are so easy to say, never as easy to do especially when you have no starting point.
Sometimes we have all these thoughts and needs running through our heads our very being just hoping, pleading with anyone to listen to the signs and care, help. But they don’t. How can they when they don’t know and you can’t tell them.
In the end I think we are all lost. Trying desperately to find a niche, a place of peace of normalcy and of compassion.
It seems to me that nobody really achieves it.
So we continue to wander.
Such is life I guess.