He Doesn't Say: / SGA
Title: He Doesn't Say:
Rating: PG
Fandom: SGA
Prompt: Write about a time someone said "no".
Summary: Despite his big mouth, there's a lot Rodney doesn't say. (Pre-McShep; AU before Irresponsible).
It’s a beautiful day out in the middle of P4X-933: there’s sun (but not too much), trees (but not too many), and ocean (but not too shark-infested). It’s an alien Eden, and Rodney thinks he could vacation here, or would have, if the Genii hadn’t ruined the whole planet for him. He just can’t relax in a place where his and John’s life had been threatened, especially by a smug Kolya, who has John by the neck and a gun to his head.
An ambush. How did we let this happen? Rodney doesn’t wonder.
“Nice day, isn’t it?” Kolya asks, grinning in that wicked, madman way of his. Rodney can see Kolya’s hand flex against the pistol handle. He’s dying to pull the trigger, but he’s careful, because he doesn’t have what he wants yet.
He never will Rodney doesn’t say, and snaps: “Yes, let’s talk about the weather. How very original of you. I suppose we can discuss sports next? How about those Yankees?”
Kolya’s grin widens (how is that funny to you? Rodney doesn’t demand. You don’t even know what baseball is.), and he looks like a shark. “Testy,” he observes, while John remains silent. “Your nerves are showing, Doctor McKay. You’re a brilliant scientist, but a terrible diplomat.”
“I’m good where it matters,” he angrily retorts, realizing too late how perverse that sounds; Kolya hears it too, and laughs. It sounds greasy. Rodney clenches his jaw, refusing to blush or get flustered about it, biting his tongue before anything truly regretful comes out, like take me instead, I’m the one you need. He’s being taunted. He knows that.
“I’m sure the Colonel appreciates your many talents,” comes the disgusting response. Rodney’s stomach rolls. Where are Ronon and Teyla? They’re supposed to bring marines, the reinforcements who are actually trained for this. They should be here by now, right?
He’s not trained. Not for this situation. Kolya’s standing behind John, using the Colonel as a shield; Kolya’s gun is resting against John’s temple, while Rodney’s is pointed towards the Genii soldier, or at least in his general direction. Rodney knows if he were to pull the trigger right now, he’d hit John by accident, by mistake. Kolya wants that. He wants John dead, and he wants Rodney to suffer for it.
“Grade school taunts, huh? You really are as stupid as I thought,” Rodney spits out, seeing red and feeling faint all at once. Because Kolya’s right about John, about how Rodney would be happy to use his talents on his best friend, if only John weren’t-oh, what’s the word?-ah, yes, straight. Besides, Rodney doesn’t see it going well: Colonel, here are the specs for the ‘jumper repairs. Ah, and I almost forgot-I’m stupidly, pathetically, ridiculously in love with you.
Rodney swallows hard. Forget love. John is his closest friend, the only one who truly understands him. Losing John would be-
Stop.
Don’t think about it.
Stop.
Rodney’s arm straightens, and his eyes narrow.
What should I do? What would John do?
He would be… calm. Prepared. Patient. A good soldier. He’d negotiate. Talk. Offer a trade. Use his enemy’s strengths and weaknesses against themselves. But Kolya only wants Atlantis (a non-negotiable proposal) and Rodney has no idea how to use Kolya’s talents (the military training, the gun competency, that sort of thing) and flaws for John’s benefit.
Smug. He’s smug. Too sure of himself. He underestimates me.
“A team of marines are going to be here any moment,” Rodney says, and he’s suddenly grateful he did drama as a kid. “You’re not leaving here alone.”
“Really? You know, I’m not sure Colonel Sheppard is going to like that idea,” Kolya replies, tightening his grip. John’s going to have bruises there tomorrow. "I get irrational when I'm nervous. It's a bad trait."
“I'm afraid that’s not your only bad trait,” Rodney doesn’t want to mutter, but does.
And then Kolya does exactly what Rodney hopes he’d do: he laughs. He tilts his head back and laughs, relaxed because he thinks Rodney can’t do anything, can’t aim, but Rodney’s the smartest man in two galaxies. He understands speed, trajectory, proximity, and Kolya has leaned his head back just enough.
For the first time in his life, Rodney doesn’t think.
He shoots.
There’s a deafening bang that leaves his ears ringing. His eyes squeeze tight at the noise. When he opens them again, he sees John splattered in blood, and there’s not even a word that describes the fear he feels. The fear of having unintentionally missed. But John doesn’t fall; Kolya does, a hole in his neck, and there’s not a word for the relief he feels, either.
There’s a silence after that, where John stares at Rodney in disbelief while Rodney stares at the dead man on the ground. “Rodney?” John whispers, but Rodney doesn’t shift his gaze; he can’t take the chance.
“Rodney,” John says again, more forcefully. “You did good. You were… amazing. You scared the shit out of me, but you did it.”
“I asked myself what you would do,” Rodney answers, and then realizes there was never a question. He doesn’t care; he just keeps talking as John moves towards him. “Shoot first, ask later. That’s a soldier’s motto, isn’t it? So I-I played on his weaknesses, and he’s so smug, so sure of himself, like the Ancients were. I only needed to distract him for a second.”
John’s close enough now so that their breath mingles. His right hand lifts and runs the pad of his thumb over Rodney’s cheek.
“The thing is,” he continues, shaking his head and not moving away. This might be the only time he gets to be this close to John. “He didn’t give me a choice. It was you or him. No choice. I had to say no.” He meets John’s eyes. “I had to say no.”
He doesn’t say you scared me. He doesn’t say don’t get caught again. He doesn’t say I love you.
But John’s not stupid; he knows, has known for a long, long time, so he doesn’t let go even as a noise echoes just beyond the hill.
Teyla and Ronon and all those well-trained marines are finally coming to their rescue.
FIN.
Rating: PG
Fandom: SGA
Prompt: Write about a time someone said "no".
Summary: Despite his big mouth, there's a lot Rodney doesn't say. (Pre-McShep; AU before Irresponsible).
It’s a beautiful day out in the middle of P4X-933: there’s sun (but not too much), trees (but not too many), and ocean (but not too shark-infested). It’s an alien Eden, and Rodney thinks he could vacation here, or would have, if the Genii hadn’t ruined the whole planet for him. He just can’t relax in a place where his and John’s life had been threatened, especially by a smug Kolya, who has John by the neck and a gun to his head.
An ambush. How did we let this happen? Rodney doesn’t wonder.
“Nice day, isn’t it?” Kolya asks, grinning in that wicked, madman way of his. Rodney can see Kolya’s hand flex against the pistol handle. He’s dying to pull the trigger, but he’s careful, because he doesn’t have what he wants yet.
He never will Rodney doesn’t say, and snaps: “Yes, let’s talk about the weather. How very original of you. I suppose we can discuss sports next? How about those Yankees?”
Kolya’s grin widens (how is that funny to you? Rodney doesn’t demand. You don’t even know what baseball is.), and he looks like a shark. “Testy,” he observes, while John remains silent. “Your nerves are showing, Doctor McKay. You’re a brilliant scientist, but a terrible diplomat.”
“I’m good where it matters,” he angrily retorts, realizing too late how perverse that sounds; Kolya hears it too, and laughs. It sounds greasy. Rodney clenches his jaw, refusing to blush or get flustered about it, biting his tongue before anything truly regretful comes out, like take me instead, I’m the one you need. He’s being taunted. He knows that.
“I’m sure the Colonel appreciates your many talents,” comes the disgusting response. Rodney’s stomach rolls. Where are Ronon and Teyla? They’re supposed to bring marines, the reinforcements who are actually trained for this. They should be here by now, right?
He’s not trained. Not for this situation. Kolya’s standing behind John, using the Colonel as a shield; Kolya’s gun is resting against John’s temple, while Rodney’s is pointed towards the Genii soldier, or at least in his general direction. Rodney knows if he were to pull the trigger right now, he’d hit John by accident, by mistake. Kolya wants that. He wants John dead, and he wants Rodney to suffer for it.
“Grade school taunts, huh? You really are as stupid as I thought,” Rodney spits out, seeing red and feeling faint all at once. Because Kolya’s right about John, about how Rodney would be happy to use his talents on his best friend, if only John weren’t-oh, what’s the word?-ah, yes, straight. Besides, Rodney doesn’t see it going well: Colonel, here are the specs for the ‘jumper repairs. Ah, and I almost forgot-I’m stupidly, pathetically, ridiculously in love with you.
Rodney swallows hard. Forget love. John is his closest friend, the only one who truly understands him. Losing John would be-
Stop.
Don’t think about it.
Stop.
Rodney’s arm straightens, and his eyes narrow.
What should I do? What would John do?
He would be… calm. Prepared. Patient. A good soldier. He’d negotiate. Talk. Offer a trade. Use his enemy’s strengths and weaknesses against themselves. But Kolya only wants Atlantis (a non-negotiable proposal) and Rodney has no idea how to use Kolya’s talents (the military training, the gun competency, that sort of thing) and flaws for John’s benefit.
Smug. He’s smug. Too sure of himself. He underestimates me.
“A team of marines are going to be here any moment,” Rodney says, and he’s suddenly grateful he did drama as a kid. “You’re not leaving here alone.”
“Really? You know, I’m not sure Colonel Sheppard is going to like that idea,” Kolya replies, tightening his grip. John’s going to have bruises there tomorrow. "I get irrational when I'm nervous. It's a bad trait."
“I'm afraid that’s not your only bad trait,” Rodney doesn’t want to mutter, but does.
And then Kolya does exactly what Rodney hopes he’d do: he laughs. He tilts his head back and laughs, relaxed because he thinks Rodney can’t do anything, can’t aim, but Rodney’s the smartest man in two galaxies. He understands speed, trajectory, proximity, and Kolya has leaned his head back just enough.
For the first time in his life, Rodney doesn’t think.
He shoots.
There’s a deafening bang that leaves his ears ringing. His eyes squeeze tight at the noise. When he opens them again, he sees John splattered in blood, and there’s not even a word that describes the fear he feels. The fear of having unintentionally missed. But John doesn’t fall; Kolya does, a hole in his neck, and there’s not a word for the relief he feels, either.
There’s a silence after that, where John stares at Rodney in disbelief while Rodney stares at the dead man on the ground. “Rodney?” John whispers, but Rodney doesn’t shift his gaze; he can’t take the chance.
“Rodney,” John says again, more forcefully. “You did good. You were… amazing. You scared the shit out of me, but you did it.”
“I asked myself what you would do,” Rodney answers, and then realizes there was never a question. He doesn’t care; he just keeps talking as John moves towards him. “Shoot first, ask later. That’s a soldier’s motto, isn’t it? So I-I played on his weaknesses, and he’s so smug, so sure of himself, like the Ancients were. I only needed to distract him for a second.”
John’s close enough now so that their breath mingles. His right hand lifts and runs the pad of his thumb over Rodney’s cheek.
“The thing is,” he continues, shaking his head and not moving away. This might be the only time he gets to be this close to John. “He didn’t give me a choice. It was you or him. No choice. I had to say no.” He meets John’s eyes. “I had to say no.”
He doesn’t say you scared me. He doesn’t say don’t get caught again. He doesn’t say I love you.
But John’s not stupid; he knows, has known for a long, long time, so he doesn’t let go even as a noise echoes just beyond the hill.
Teyla and Ronon and all those well-trained marines are finally coming to their rescue.
FIN.