A tiny update to Casey/Olivia episode base ficiton
Title: Collide
Working Title: How Casey and Olivia became Casey and Olivia
Sub title: Season five Episode Unknown
Series Summary: A series based on what could have happened before, during, or after an episode. My version of how Casey and Olivia could have realistically come to be.
Episode summary: -
Length: 1765 words
Rating: TV 14 - this episode
Disclaimer: I do not own the show Law and Order, SVU or the characters or the scripted episodes, I only have fun with them ;)
Thanks: I would like to thank whatever DVD studio produced season five b/c if it wasn't for them, closed captioning and the pause button I would never be able to get parts from the episodes right.
I also wanna thank whatever fan fic author (I'm so sorry I have no idea her name) who wrote several Olivia/Alex episode centric fics that gave me this idea.
Notes: I don't know if you ever notice but based on the dates in the episodes, there's several cases going on at once, I do not have the time to work that in so for this story let's just assume the episodes come right after another, time-wise.
Second note: I like to play with this in my other Casey/Olivia fictions but in this one Olivia and Alex NEVER had a sexual/romantic relationships.
Episode Note: I don't know yet which next episode I'll be working on, but this will be the beginning of it. I'm posting this now for several reasons, I'm excited and two I really want to work on several pieces of fiction and my Buffy epic fiction, all of which I have been pushing aside for months for work on this fiction.
Last note: I've read this through, and did my best on typos and grammar but I'm not a very good editer so if you feel the need to let me know about it, go right ahead, I won't take offense. As always, I love feed back, I live for it, please let me know how I'm doing!!! Thanks!
The lack of noise was what awoke Olivia. After all these years of sirens outside, her own cell phone ringing, or the neighbors above her causing the ceiling to creak like it would come down on her own head.
But there was none of that, only peaceful silence with just a slight mummer of the city quietly going about the day from what seemed to be very far away. And for some reason, this caused her to wake. Her eyes opened, staring at a wall that wasn’t familiar, she frowned, confused, and wondering what time it was. Had she slept in? She wasn’t even sure what day was today for that matter. Trying to discover this she thought back to her most recent memories. Events from the day before entered her conscious. Guilt and regret spread through her chest like a wildfire and she shut her eyes tight against it. But of course that didn’t help it any.
Her eyes popped open again, remembering what had happened next. Feeling horrible she had wandered out of the station house. Even at this late hour cars still sped by, blaring their horns every few seconds. But Olivia didn’t seem to hear any of it, or feel the chill of the night. She felt like an empty shell and that shell, the only thing she was, was a shell made out of the shame she felt.
She had just reached the bottom of the steps when she had heard Elliot’s voice calling her name. But stopping and turning around to face him seemed like too much effort, and she really didn’t see the point, so instead she just kept walking, knowing she couldn’t face him. He had caught up with her in seconds, grabbing her shoulder and turning her around. He told her it wasn’t her fault, she heard his words but they were empty. He asked her if she needed anything and she shook her head.
“Don’t beat yourself up over this.” He had said, his voice hard, commanding, as if he hoped she would take those words to heart.
But she couldn’t respond, couldn’t find the words so she just walked away.
She walked for close to an hour before finding herself where she realized was the one place she needed to be.
Olivia wondered if it had all been a dream. But no, she knew in her heart it hadn’t been a dream. She shifted her body, turning around in the bed and saw all of her heart’s unspoken desires laying only inches away from her.
In her sleep Casey Novak looked like a child. Not really a child but innocent. Like all of the hardships in her life hadn’t happened to her. That the daily struggle, pains and terrors of the human race was something that the young ADA did not deal with. Here, as Olivia watched the rise and gentle fall of her belly, Olivia felt she was getting to see who Casey truly was at heart, not the person her life had forced her to become.
Olivia stared, mesmerized, unable to look away, not wanting to even if she could. Because as she lay next to her, watching, simply being close enough to be in her presence Olivia realized a horrible truth.
A truth she had only ever felt a few times in her life before and each time Olivia had known it would always lead to a very bad place.
Olivia was in love with Casey Novak.
The apprehension of this concept left Olivia struggling for breath because she knew what this meant and it made her afraid. Olivia had something now. Joy and happiness from knowing Casey. And now there was something that could be taken away from Olivia, now she had something to lose. Living life basically alone had made it easier to walk in this world. If you have nothing you’re afraid to lose, you have nothing to fear.
And now as Olivia Benson struggled with this notion, lying tangled in sheets from a bed belonging to Casey, in Casey’s apartment, Olivia wondered what had happened the night before, mere hours ago. Olivia had come to her in the middle of the night because she needed nothing else in the world but to be near Casey and soak in her radiance. Casey had asked her what she needed, Olivia had answered and Casey had complied.
Why? Why had she done that? Because she wanted to give those things to Olivia? Or simply because it was an obligation?
Olivia understood obligation, and knew what it felt like to have one feel it for her.
The first time she had kissed a girl had been when she was sixteen. The first time she had known her heart was capable of loving a woman, never mind the wordless emotion she felt when she was four. That emotion that didn’t have a name was known simply as being different.
It had been one of those boy girl make out parties that parents pretended not to know about but did anyways because they had probably gone to them as well when they were kids. Olivia had seen her at other parties and they had always had a good time, talking and laughing, before going back to their perspective boys who were waiting for them. At this party, when those weren’t planning on staying the night had left and those who were, were already asleep Olivia had found her in a dark hallway. They whispered words of greeting to each other in tones of sleepiness and excitement. And in that darkness Olivia had reached for her and kissed her. She had been kissed back and so falling asleep that night Olivia was floating on a cloud. Until the next day when she was ignored and avoided. Heartbroken for the first time at the young age of sixteen Olivia forced herself to move on.
All this time later Olivia could still remembered how the heartache had hurt. As she gazed at Casey she knew deep in her gut that if that happened, if this was how Casey had truly felt, and what she had been acting out of last night, the detective feared she wouldn’t be able to move past that.
Scared Olivia whispered Casey’s name and when Casey didn’t wake up or even stir Olivia moved a tiny bit closer to her, brushing her lips to the lawyer’s smooth cheek. Still not waking Olivia pulled back, suddenly happy that she was such a heavy sleeper.
Because now was the perfect moment when she could leave. She could leave and not have to face what had taken place, how Olivia had embarrassed herself, exposing herself as she had. She hated it when she cried uncontrollably like that. How trying to form words made the seemingly endless loop of repeated words and choking stutters all the more worse.
Her mother had always made fun of her for that. So did other children. Olivia remembered that, so now she was asking herself how she could allow that to happen in front of Casey.
Olivia remembered her words and the way it felt to have Casey’s lips gently against the back of her neck and she shut her eyes. Tight enough so no tears would leak out.
Olivia moved, removing the sheets and swinging her legs over the side of the bed.
“Olivia?”
Olivia paused, her back to Casey she didn’t even breath, hoping Casey had simply been talking in her sleep.
“Olivia.” Casey mumbled her name again and when Olivia felt a soft touch of fingers on her back she knew Casey hadn’t been sleep talking.
Olivia turned around, unable to force a smile, unable to keep the heartbroken look off of her face.
“Where are you going?” The question was simple and uncomplicated and her tone was one of childish confusion. As if the thought of Olivia leaving seemed the most preposterous thing in the world.
“I - I think I should leave.” Olivia took the pause between the repeated word as a moment to collect her thoughts and emotions.
“But why?” Casey’s eyes were still glazed over with sleep and the way her hair fell lazily into her face when she shook her head slightly made Olivia want to fall forever into the image of Casey Novak.
“Because - I-” Again Olivia paused, trying to find the right words. “I think I should walk away before I’m too deep to come out unscathed, I’m afraid I might already be.”
Casey frowned in complete and uttered confusion, it was too early and she hadn’t been awake nearly long enough to unscramble Olivia’s carefully thought out answer. Finally, understanding it Casey said with a low chuckle, “You’re in too deep?”
“Yes. I didn’t mean to expose myself like I had, I’m sorry.”
“You’re in too deep?” Casey asked again, as if she wasn’t hearing the words Olivia had just said, her tone that of disbelieve.
“Yes.” Olivia said slowly.
Moving faster than Olivia realized someone could who had just woken up Casey shot out an hand, grabbed Olivia’s own hand and yanked her back into bed, pulling her into a tight embrace. “Well I was in too deep the moment you were in front of me.” Casey’s voice came out tight and horse.
Olivia searched her eyes, not fully believing the words she had just heard. “Casey-” Olivia started to say but stopped when Casey shook her head.
Casey had no words to say, so instead she just allowed one finger to trace down the bottom half of Olivia’s arm, where there was exposed skin. Her throat tight Olivia only looked back at Olivia and Olivia looked right back at her, thinking she had never seen eyes so green before.
As if giving away to some pull that was of a power greater than her, Olivia collapsed against Casey, the side of her face finding comfort on the upper part of Casey’s breast. “Please tell me you’re telling the truth.” She whispered. When Casey said nothing Olivia looked up, feeling like her heart had paused in its beats.
When Olivia met her gaze Casey sighed, opening her mouth to speak but still, words didn’t seem right, no words at all. So instead Casey just reached for Olivia, leaning forward as Olivia did the same, coming together in a breathless kiss that would change them forever. Either allowing the universe to be perfect for them if only for the mere moments they had like these, or allowing both of their hearts to be open to deepening scars that don’t heal.
Working Title: How Casey and Olivia became Casey and Olivia
Sub title: Season five Episode Unknown
Series Summary: A series based on what could have happened before, during, or after an episode. My version of how Casey and Olivia could have realistically come to be.
Episode summary: -
Length: 1765 words
Rating: TV 14 - this episode
Disclaimer: I do not own the show Law and Order, SVU or the characters or the scripted episodes, I only have fun with them ;)
Thanks: I would like to thank whatever DVD studio produced season five b/c if it wasn't for them, closed captioning and the pause button I would never be able to get parts from the episodes right.
I also wanna thank whatever fan fic author (I'm so sorry I have no idea her name) who wrote several Olivia/Alex episode centric fics that gave me this idea.
Notes: I don't know if you ever notice but based on the dates in the episodes, there's several cases going on at once, I do not have the time to work that in so for this story let's just assume the episodes come right after another, time-wise.
Second note: I like to play with this in my other Casey/Olivia fictions but in this one Olivia and Alex NEVER had a sexual/romantic relationships.
Episode Note: I don't know yet which next episode I'll be working on, but this will be the beginning of it. I'm posting this now for several reasons, I'm excited and two I really want to work on several pieces of fiction and my Buffy epic fiction, all of which I have been pushing aside for months for work on this fiction.
Last note: I've read this through, and did my best on typos and grammar but I'm not a very good editer so if you feel the need to let me know about it, go right ahead, I won't take offense. As always, I love feed back, I live for it, please let me know how I'm doing!!! Thanks!
The lack of noise was what awoke Olivia. After all these years of sirens outside, her own cell phone ringing, or the neighbors above her causing the ceiling to creak like it would come down on her own head.
But there was none of that, only peaceful silence with just a slight mummer of the city quietly going about the day from what seemed to be very far away. And for some reason, this caused her to wake. Her eyes opened, staring at a wall that wasn’t familiar, she frowned, confused, and wondering what time it was. Had she slept in? She wasn’t even sure what day was today for that matter. Trying to discover this she thought back to her most recent memories. Events from the day before entered her conscious. Guilt and regret spread through her chest like a wildfire and she shut her eyes tight against it. But of course that didn’t help it any.
Her eyes popped open again, remembering what had happened next. Feeling horrible she had wandered out of the station house. Even at this late hour cars still sped by, blaring their horns every few seconds. But Olivia didn’t seem to hear any of it, or feel the chill of the night. She felt like an empty shell and that shell, the only thing she was, was a shell made out of the shame she felt.
She had just reached the bottom of the steps when she had heard Elliot’s voice calling her name. But stopping and turning around to face him seemed like too much effort, and she really didn’t see the point, so instead she just kept walking, knowing she couldn’t face him. He had caught up with her in seconds, grabbing her shoulder and turning her around. He told her it wasn’t her fault, she heard his words but they were empty. He asked her if she needed anything and she shook her head.
“Don’t beat yourself up over this.” He had said, his voice hard, commanding, as if he hoped she would take those words to heart.
But she couldn’t respond, couldn’t find the words so she just walked away.
She walked for close to an hour before finding herself where she realized was the one place she needed to be.
Olivia wondered if it had all been a dream. But no, she knew in her heart it hadn’t been a dream. She shifted her body, turning around in the bed and saw all of her heart’s unspoken desires laying only inches away from her.
In her sleep Casey Novak looked like a child. Not really a child but innocent. Like all of the hardships in her life hadn’t happened to her. That the daily struggle, pains and terrors of the human race was something that the young ADA did not deal with. Here, as Olivia watched the rise and gentle fall of her belly, Olivia felt she was getting to see who Casey truly was at heart, not the person her life had forced her to become.
Olivia stared, mesmerized, unable to look away, not wanting to even if she could. Because as she lay next to her, watching, simply being close enough to be in her presence Olivia realized a horrible truth.
A truth she had only ever felt a few times in her life before and each time Olivia had known it would always lead to a very bad place.
Olivia was in love with Casey Novak.
The apprehension of this concept left Olivia struggling for breath because she knew what this meant and it made her afraid. Olivia had something now. Joy and happiness from knowing Casey. And now there was something that could be taken away from Olivia, now she had something to lose. Living life basically alone had made it easier to walk in this world. If you have nothing you’re afraid to lose, you have nothing to fear.
And now as Olivia Benson struggled with this notion, lying tangled in sheets from a bed belonging to Casey, in Casey’s apartment, Olivia wondered what had happened the night before, mere hours ago. Olivia had come to her in the middle of the night because she needed nothing else in the world but to be near Casey and soak in her radiance. Casey had asked her what she needed, Olivia had answered and Casey had complied.
Why? Why had she done that? Because she wanted to give those things to Olivia? Or simply because it was an obligation?
Olivia understood obligation, and knew what it felt like to have one feel it for her.
The first time she had kissed a girl had been when she was sixteen. The first time she had known her heart was capable of loving a woman, never mind the wordless emotion she felt when she was four. That emotion that didn’t have a name was known simply as being different.
It had been one of those boy girl make out parties that parents pretended not to know about but did anyways because they had probably gone to them as well when they were kids. Olivia had seen her at other parties and they had always had a good time, talking and laughing, before going back to their perspective boys who were waiting for them. At this party, when those weren’t planning on staying the night had left and those who were, were already asleep Olivia had found her in a dark hallway. They whispered words of greeting to each other in tones of sleepiness and excitement. And in that darkness Olivia had reached for her and kissed her. She had been kissed back and so falling asleep that night Olivia was floating on a cloud. Until the next day when she was ignored and avoided. Heartbroken for the first time at the young age of sixteen Olivia forced herself to move on.
All this time later Olivia could still remembered how the heartache had hurt. As she gazed at Casey she knew deep in her gut that if that happened, if this was how Casey had truly felt, and what she had been acting out of last night, the detective feared she wouldn’t be able to move past that.
Scared Olivia whispered Casey’s name and when Casey didn’t wake up or even stir Olivia moved a tiny bit closer to her, brushing her lips to the lawyer’s smooth cheek. Still not waking Olivia pulled back, suddenly happy that she was such a heavy sleeper.
Because now was the perfect moment when she could leave. She could leave and not have to face what had taken place, how Olivia had embarrassed herself, exposing herself as she had. She hated it when she cried uncontrollably like that. How trying to form words made the seemingly endless loop of repeated words and choking stutters all the more worse.
Her mother had always made fun of her for that. So did other children. Olivia remembered that, so now she was asking herself how she could allow that to happen in front of Casey.
Olivia remembered her words and the way it felt to have Casey’s lips gently against the back of her neck and she shut her eyes. Tight enough so no tears would leak out.
Olivia moved, removing the sheets and swinging her legs over the side of the bed.
“Olivia?”
Olivia paused, her back to Casey she didn’t even breath, hoping Casey had simply been talking in her sleep.
“Olivia.” Casey mumbled her name again and when Olivia felt a soft touch of fingers on her back she knew Casey hadn’t been sleep talking.
Olivia turned around, unable to force a smile, unable to keep the heartbroken look off of her face.
“Where are you going?” The question was simple and uncomplicated and her tone was one of childish confusion. As if the thought of Olivia leaving seemed the most preposterous thing in the world.
“I - I think I should leave.” Olivia took the pause between the repeated word as a moment to collect her thoughts and emotions.
“But why?” Casey’s eyes were still glazed over with sleep and the way her hair fell lazily into her face when she shook her head slightly made Olivia want to fall forever into the image of Casey Novak.
“Because - I-” Again Olivia paused, trying to find the right words. “I think I should walk away before I’m too deep to come out unscathed, I’m afraid I might already be.”
Casey frowned in complete and uttered confusion, it was too early and she hadn’t been awake nearly long enough to unscramble Olivia’s carefully thought out answer. Finally, understanding it Casey said with a low chuckle, “You’re in too deep?”
“Yes. I didn’t mean to expose myself like I had, I’m sorry.”
“You’re in too deep?” Casey asked again, as if she wasn’t hearing the words Olivia had just said, her tone that of disbelieve.
“Yes.” Olivia said slowly.
Moving faster than Olivia realized someone could who had just woken up Casey shot out an hand, grabbed Olivia’s own hand and yanked her back into bed, pulling her into a tight embrace. “Well I was in too deep the moment you were in front of me.” Casey’s voice came out tight and horse.
Olivia searched her eyes, not fully believing the words she had just heard. “Casey-” Olivia started to say but stopped when Casey shook her head.
Casey had no words to say, so instead she just allowed one finger to trace down the bottom half of Olivia’s arm, where there was exposed skin. Her throat tight Olivia only looked back at Olivia and Olivia looked right back at her, thinking she had never seen eyes so green before.
As if giving away to some pull that was of a power greater than her, Olivia collapsed against Casey, the side of her face finding comfort on the upper part of Casey’s breast. “Please tell me you’re telling the truth.” She whispered. When Casey said nothing Olivia looked up, feeling like her heart had paused in its beats.
When Olivia met her gaze Casey sighed, opening her mouth to speak but still, words didn’t seem right, no words at all. So instead Casey just reached for Olivia, leaning forward as Olivia did the same, coming together in a breathless kiss that would change them forever. Either allowing the universe to be perfect for them if only for the mere moments they had like these, or allowing both of their hearts to be open to deepening scars that don’t heal.