FML!
Never go grocery shopping when you're feeling emo, people! I went and came home with 416,50SEK worth of comfort foods and ingredients for making comfort food. And a bag of crisps. Which I'm sulkily eating while I hammer away at the keys. Salt and vinegar crisps are the best thing Britain has ever invented! The competition was stiff, but since Merlin season 2 is still being scorned by SVT and Torchwood killed off Ianto, salt and vinegar crisps take home the gold!
My impulse shopping was just as bad yesterday, when I foolishly went to the fancy delicacy market (Saluhallen) in the city, just to check out their new building or so I thought, but bought ridiculously fancy chocolate pralines and candy for 100SEK and ordered half a kilo of elk/moose mince meat! For making burgers. Because I was feeling nostalgic for the amazing burger I had in Stockholm, with pickles, coleslaw and lingonberries. Ok fine, but making burgers with REAL MEAT for the first time this millennium and starting out with expensive game mince meat? Maybe not the smartest idea I've had.
Why does my tummy say: "Meatmeatmeatmeatmeat, feed me meat!" and then turn around and say "Ouchy, ouchy, ouch!"? THE SIGNALS; THEY ARE MIXED! (I need to stop watching so much House, I'm now convinced I have either a bezoar or a tapeworm in there.)
This bout of emo was brought on by a visit from one of my few friends on Monday. It went down something like this, only for 2.5 hours and me sniffling for the most part. I was like "Cool, come over, I had a great time in Stockholm, do you wanna see the dresses I bought?" and she was like "We need to have a serious talk, you've been a pain in the ass in general and with ALspamming in particular, and this has been going on for a long time." "I'm really sorry about that, but my emotional needs are not being met right now and have never really been met, so I get disappointed and passive aggressive when you don't have time for me." "Well, I can't meet them." "IK, but the feelings are still there." "You need to get over them, because you're no fun to hang with.""It's not that easy!" "Yes it is, I never dwell on anything!" "I'm insanely jealous about that, and also your awesome career and life in general" "I never get jealous, and also I hate talking on the phone" "Good for you! and WHAT? This is news to me!" "I can't tell you what to do to feel better, I'm not an empathic person" "I thought we were like Kradam, but then I've learned that you're like Gokey or something and that makes me sad and disappointed!" (no I didn't actually say that last line, even though I felt like it, I used real grown-up words instead.)
We decided we aren't gonna break up, that she'll email me next week, and that I should explore other sources of validation.
So I've basically been sad, angry and insecure ever since, questioning my current and coming social interactions, looking for signs of ass-paining. Not fun at all.
I know I can be annoying when I'm enthusiastic about something, but I let it loose in contrast to my normal state of being, which is pessimistic, negative and ridiculously critical of myself and everything else. Is that badwrong of me?
My impulse shopping was just as bad yesterday, when I foolishly went to the fancy delicacy market (Saluhallen) in the city, just to check out their new building or so I thought, but bought ridiculously fancy chocolate pralines and candy for 100SEK and ordered half a kilo of elk/moose mince meat! For making burgers. Because I was feeling nostalgic for the amazing burger I had in Stockholm, with pickles, coleslaw and lingonberries. Ok fine, but making burgers with REAL MEAT for the first time this millennium and starting out with expensive game mince meat? Maybe not the smartest idea I've had.
Why does my tummy say: "Meatmeatmeatmeatmeat, feed me meat!" and then turn around and say "Ouchy, ouchy, ouch!"? THE SIGNALS; THEY ARE MIXED! (I need to stop watching so much House, I'm now convinced I have either a bezoar or a tapeworm in there.)
This bout of emo was brought on by a visit from one of my few friends on Monday. It went down something like this, only for 2.5 hours and me sniffling for the most part. I was like "Cool, come over, I had a great time in Stockholm, do you wanna see the dresses I bought?" and she was like "We need to have a serious talk, you've been a pain in the ass in general and with ALspamming in particular, and this has been going on for a long time." "I'm really sorry about that, but my emotional needs are not being met right now and have never really been met, so I get disappointed and passive aggressive when you don't have time for me." "Well, I can't meet them." "IK, but the feelings are still there." "You need to get over them, because you're no fun to hang with.""It's not that easy!" "Yes it is, I never dwell on anything!" "I'm insanely jealous about that, and also your awesome career and life in general" "I never get jealous, and also I hate talking on the phone" "Good for you! and WHAT? This is news to me!" "I can't tell you what to do to feel better, I'm not an empathic person" "I thought we were like Kradam, but then I've learned that you're like Gokey or something and that makes me sad and disappointed!" (no I didn't actually say that last line, even though I felt like it, I used real grown-up words instead.)
We decided we aren't gonna break up, that she'll email me next week, and that I should explore other sources of validation.
So I've basically been sad, angry and insecure ever since, questioning my current and coming social interactions, looking for signs of ass-paining. Not fun at all.
I know I can be annoying when I'm enthusiastic about something, but I let it loose in contrast to my normal state of being, which is pessimistic, negative and ridiculously critical of myself and everything else. Is that badwrong of me?