Drabble # 236
“Why do you keep doing that Pi?”
Tegoshi looked up from the white sofa he was sitting at as Yamapi passed by silently. His words caught the elder’s attention, he stopped and their eyes met for the first time today.
“Why do I keep doing what?” The older man asked dumbfounded.
“You know what I am talking about.”
Tegoshi sighed and turned his head toward a group of guys chatting excitedly about the planning for the upcoming concert, to point out the obvious. Apparently nothing at all was close to obvious for Yamapi, and he didn’t say a single word in response, instead he looked at the younger boy with an empty stare.
As always Yamapi had been the reason for the unbearable pain in his chest; it had been a real mess deep down inside for so long and he just couldn’t get it sorted out. It didn’t help when recently Yamapi decided to show his funniest side by playing around with Massu and Shige and yeah his best-what-so-ever-friend Ryochan. Tegoshi didn’t dislike any of the other members, instead he treasured them like his family, but watching the person that he adored most ignoring him, again, didn’t feel good the slightest.
“Is it really a game for you?” Tegoshi reached out to fist the hem of Yamapi’s blue shirt with his trembling fingers, wishing he could just as easily reach deeper and into the stupid man’s soul. “It’s like…throwing buds, throwing coins.”
They were attracted to each other for sure, and the fact that they had been sneaking around countless times before to desperately crush their lips together in a vertigo-inducing kiss, made it even worse for Tegoshi to accept the emotional rollercoaster Yamapi put him on by ignoring him in front of the camera. He knew their making out backstage wasn’t to be taken for granted, yet he thought he didn't have to accept his behaviour and still longed for the other's touch each time he saw Yamapi pass by.
Tegoshi gazed at the older man who silently sat down next to him, the younger’s eyes filled with anger and melancholy, like he didn’t know anymore where he belonged to. “I don’t want to continue throwing each other’s consciousness to the ground.”
The younger man didn’t want to kiss Yamapi in front of the camera, of course not. Well not really and honestly, totally and completely kissing him, and even teasingly ‘chu-ing’ at his leader was something he could only do when he was already drunk on the addicting high of a concert, yet he had been pushed away and it hurt.
Being ignored most of the time when others were around wasn’t easy.
“That’s not how you want it to be? Right?” Tegoshi looked deep into the other’s eyes that seemed to be affected by what he was saying, sparkling with something that seemed to be tears filling them and ready to drown his doubts, “Tell me that I’m right, tell me damnit!”
Yamapi shook his head slowly as if unsure if he should shake it or not but scooted closer unconsciously and leant in towards Tegoshi and whispered, “You’re the REASON.”
Now it was time for Tegoshi to stare back at him dumbfounded and he slightly flinched when Yamapi’s cold fingers touched his burning hot cheek, gently stroking his soft skin with his thumb.
“You are the reason why I live, the reason why I cry, the reason why I always have to say goodbye.” The older man breathed as he leaned in to close the little space left between them and their mouths touched and their tongues entwined in slick roughness, shamelessly and in a familiar manner, tasting each other’s intoxicating sweetness. Yamapi reached for Tegoshi’s waist and pulled himself closer and the younger embraced him with his own arms. He slowly wrapped his shaking hands around the others back, tight enough to feel his heart beat rapidly against his chest.
“You are the reason why I smile; I can't deny…you are the reason why I breathe, because of your love.”
Yamapi whispered against the others lips as he broke the kiss for the sake of breathing properly, and he smiled at Tegoshi’s open mouth before capturing his lips in another sweet kiss, wishing he’d be able to transfer the pure love and bliss that always filled his insides when he could hold the younger boy in his arms.
∞This is just something to distract myself this afternoon before seriously working on something else. I’m sorry for those of you that treasure Massu-pi and Shige-pi and anything that is Ryochan, but they are hurting Tego XD so… it’s really not fair of Pi and I hope he already made up to his little fanboy-boyfriend with a sweet kiss =p
Sorry that this ficlet isn’t anything new, interesting or good. +_+””