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[teflonfeathers]

Crawling back into sobriety is an interesting experience if you're detatched enough.
Like walking down this empty road until you meet yourself, drooling, coughing, spouting insane gibberish...yet slowly evolving back into yourself

Comments

[elizabeth_rv]

I saw a friend of mine today who told me that tomorrow is her anniversary of being 27 years sober - I never even knew. She said that only once did she feel herself start to want to crash it, so she called her friend, and he came right over and talked with her at length and helped her not want it. She made it through that and she kept going, kept sober, and now it's been 27 years. When she was telling me about it, she looked so proud and happy, you could see it in her face and whole body, she was quietly radiant.

The leap to what you do want is one of those momentous times the I Ching talks about when it says,

"These periods of sudden change have great importance. Just as rain relieves atmospheric tension, making all the buds burst open, so a time of deliverance from burdensome pressure has a liberating and stimulating effect on life. One thing is important, however: in such times we must not overdo our triumph. ... If there are any residual matters that ought to be attended to, it should be done as quickly as possible, so that a clean sweep is made and no retardations occur."

Now you could start a new practice/interest/study/activity/thing, sort of a substitute, but something that draws you, and that can be continued over time. maybe until you're an expert, something healthy to cultivate, a new thing that you *do* want, that you think you might really want to get into.

You've freed up all this space in your life, so now you get to consciously fill it and direct it however you want - and it's good to have the thing (or one of the new things) be something that you can always do anytime, you can always go to it, it's always there. (What could it be? Do you already know?)