the streets are dark and empty
Meme fic for lb_x, who requested Remus/Regulus, to include the line "we'll just tentatively hold hands". Officially my first HP fic. Also: abrupt ending hurrah.
Some Small Measure
Avada is a word to summon death, to call it up and invite it in. It is a word of wicked intent.
Kedavra is a word to finalise death, to bring it down and send it forth. It is the word that lies beyond the point of return; it makes the wicked inexcusable.
Funny, Regulus never fully understood why those curses were called unforgivable until he cast them.
Funny, when even his own brother has given up on him, that it's Lupin who still comes to him; Lupin with his threadbare coat and good intentions and his stick-thin limbs, he's too thin, no work for a werewolf these days. (Yes, Regulus knows his little secret, but Remus doesn't know he knows, because Regulus keeps secrets for fun and profit.)
He likes it best in the days before the full moon, when he can almost see the wolf behind Lupin's eyes, scars livid with heightened blood and a feralness in his eyes that makes Regulus shiver. He strokes the limp brown hair, blunt push of Remus' head into his palm like a dog begging for affection, and he smiles.
You could get out, Remus tells him, urges him. The Order would protect you, hide you -
Oh yes? And then what? He knows his sneer is strained and doesn't care. Then what? You and me standing against the odds, eh? We'll just tentatively hold hands, and the whole world will change for the love of a Death Eater and a - He stops himself before he says 'werewolf' and finishes lamely - and one of Dumbledore's henchmen.
And Lupin just looks sadly at him, like a kicked dog, smiles a little and turns away, and doesn't mention it again.
The reason those curses are called unforgivable, Regulus understands now, is because whoever casts them will not escape their wrath. Like the old magics, the ones that promised threefold retribution for evils done, no man who casts an unforgivable can hope to be untouched by them. Evil, in the end, returns upon the sender, and he thinks that his time is coming soon.
He's losing his nerve, they all know it; losing his appetite for cruelty, for power. Curses taste sour in his mouth, and avada kedavra sends a rush of nausea to the pit of his stomach. He's losing his taste for it, and a Death Eater with no taste for death is, well, a contradiction in terms.
One day, when Remus arrives Regulus doesn't let him in, leans against the locked door and screams at him to fuck off, never come back; screams until his throat is raw and his ears are ringing and then slides down to sit on the floor, head resting against the dusty wood. After a while he hears footsteps moving away, slow unwilling scrape of them, suppresses the momentary urge to throw the door open and run after them down the street, and when they fade away he knows that Lupin is finally gone. He gets a glass of water then and wonders if tomorrow will be the day they come after him, and whether Remus will try to come back again (he hopes not, he's killed enough people, doesn't need another fool to take with him into the void) and whether one unselfish act is enough to earn some small measure of forgiveness.
[/fic]
Some Small Measure
Avada is a word to summon death, to call it up and invite it in. It is a word of wicked intent.
Kedavra is a word to finalise death, to bring it down and send it forth. It is the word that lies beyond the point of return; it makes the wicked inexcusable.
Funny, Regulus never fully understood why those curses were called unforgivable until he cast them.
Funny, when even his own brother has given up on him, that it's Lupin who still comes to him; Lupin with his threadbare coat and good intentions and his stick-thin limbs, he's too thin, no work for a werewolf these days. (Yes, Regulus knows his little secret, but Remus doesn't know he knows, because Regulus keeps secrets for fun and profit.)
He likes it best in the days before the full moon, when he can almost see the wolf behind Lupin's eyes, scars livid with heightened blood and a feralness in his eyes that makes Regulus shiver. He strokes the limp brown hair, blunt push of Remus' head into his palm like a dog begging for affection, and he smiles.
You could get out, Remus tells him, urges him. The Order would protect you, hide you -
Oh yes? And then what? He knows his sneer is strained and doesn't care. Then what? You and me standing against the odds, eh? We'll just tentatively hold hands, and the whole world will change for the love of a Death Eater and a - He stops himself before he says 'werewolf' and finishes lamely - and one of Dumbledore's henchmen.
And Lupin just looks sadly at him, like a kicked dog, smiles a little and turns away, and doesn't mention it again.
The reason those curses are called unforgivable, Regulus understands now, is because whoever casts them will not escape their wrath. Like the old magics, the ones that promised threefold retribution for evils done, no man who casts an unforgivable can hope to be untouched by them. Evil, in the end, returns upon the sender, and he thinks that his time is coming soon.
He's losing his nerve, they all know it; losing his appetite for cruelty, for power. Curses taste sour in his mouth, and avada kedavra sends a rush of nausea to the pit of his stomach. He's losing his taste for it, and a Death Eater with no taste for death is, well, a contradiction in terms.
One day, when Remus arrives Regulus doesn't let him in, leans against the locked door and screams at him to fuck off, never come back; screams until his throat is raw and his ears are ringing and then slides down to sit on the floor, head resting against the dusty wood. After a while he hears footsteps moving away, slow unwilling scrape of them, suppresses the momentary urge to throw the door open and run after them down the street, and when they fade away he knows that Lupin is finally gone. He gets a glass of water then and wonders if tomorrow will be the day they come after him, and whether Remus will try to come back again (he hopes not, he's killed enough people, doesn't need another fool to take with him into the void) and whether one unselfish act is enough to earn some small measure of forgiveness.
[/fic]