like the ocean, always in love with the moon
Well akai_laputa, you said you wanted to see my Yanase Izumi musings, so here they are. Raw and scrappy, but present nonetheless.
Romantic Disentanglement
(Arashi/Izumi)
Life had always been a complicated thing for you, a twisted knot of emotion and event that defied any resolution. The job that gave you every comfort, but left you hollow; the hopeless love you clung to desperately; the professional facade worn so long you'd almost forgotten there was anything underneath. Often you despised your position as B&B's number one while craving the attention it brought, because it was better than being alone.
You never imagined that life could be anything but a series of bewildering convolutions. And then you met Arashi.
For him - with him - things were different. His life was clear and uncluttered, and he honestly believed that there was no problem that couldn't be solved by facing it, no demon that wouldn't run if you looked it square in the eye. He seemed fearless when it came to his emotions and actions, and he chased away your demons as easily as his own, for a while at least.
He became so precious to you so quickly, and for the longest time you waited for him to turn away from you. To hate you for what you were; to pity you for what you had been; to see the truth and recoil.
He didn't.
He took it all in, every ugly thing, and looked you in the eyes, and smiled. He didn't love you despite your past (it's too much a part of you for that) nor did he love you more for it (he's not the sort to hand out affection for pity's sake). He simply accepted it, as part of someone he already - for some inexplicable reason - loved. And suddenly it was as if your life was redrawn with the same clean, simple lines as his, that tangled mess cleared away by his smile and his touch and words whose meaning you'd never truly understood until you heard them from him.
Even after that, you still didn't dare believe this could last, kept half-expecting him to get tired of the complications you brought to his straightforward life. Who could blame him? But it never happened, and you finally had to accept that he wasn't going anywhere. Every obstacle, every problem, was treated with the same air of easy nonchalance, and he laughed in the face of his demons and yours.
Like that time you raised the question of what his parents would think if they knew, and he simply said: "Let's find out".
And you did, with him grasping your hand tightly while you wished the ground would swallow you. It went surprisingly well, his father stunned but not condemning, his mother saying she'd suspected as much, and smiling in a way that was oddly reminiscent of his.
"See?" he said later. "You make too much out of things."
You smiled, and shrugged, and didn't mention the death-grip he'd had on your hand while telling them. Because that's the thing about him - even if he's afraid of the consequences, he'll still do what he sees as needful. He refuses to let fears or regrets complicate his life and he runs roughshod over anything that might stop him from living the way he wants to.
The only thing he demands from life is happiness; at once such a simple and such a difficult thing to ask, but he sees no reason why he shouldn't have it - why you both shouldn't - and it takes so little to make him happy, really. Or to make you happy, when you're with him.
Things aren't always straightforward, of course. You have to live in the real world, after all, which is very different from the world of B&B, and which you're still making an effort to get used to. But you have Arashi, and he has you, and you're pretty sure there's nothing out there that the two of you together can't face down.
Life is still a complicated thing, in some ways.
But it's simple in all the ways that matter.
[/fic]
C&C is, as always, extremely welcome.
*toddles off to finish emailing and do some beta-ing*
Romantic Disentanglement
(Arashi/Izumi)
Life had always been a complicated thing for you, a twisted knot of emotion and event that defied any resolution. The job that gave you every comfort, but left you hollow; the hopeless love you clung to desperately; the professional facade worn so long you'd almost forgotten there was anything underneath. Often you despised your position as B&B's number one while craving the attention it brought, because it was better than being alone.
You never imagined that life could be anything but a series of bewildering convolutions. And then you met Arashi.
For him - with him - things were different. His life was clear and uncluttered, and he honestly believed that there was no problem that couldn't be solved by facing it, no demon that wouldn't run if you looked it square in the eye. He seemed fearless when it came to his emotions and actions, and he chased away your demons as easily as his own, for a while at least.
He became so precious to you so quickly, and for the longest time you waited for him to turn away from you. To hate you for what you were; to pity you for what you had been; to see the truth and recoil.
He didn't.
He took it all in, every ugly thing, and looked you in the eyes, and smiled. He didn't love you despite your past (it's too much a part of you for that) nor did he love you more for it (he's not the sort to hand out affection for pity's sake). He simply accepted it, as part of someone he already - for some inexplicable reason - loved. And suddenly it was as if your life was redrawn with the same clean, simple lines as his, that tangled mess cleared away by his smile and his touch and words whose meaning you'd never truly understood until you heard them from him.
Even after that, you still didn't dare believe this could last, kept half-expecting him to get tired of the complications you brought to his straightforward life. Who could blame him? But it never happened, and you finally had to accept that he wasn't going anywhere. Every obstacle, every problem, was treated with the same air of easy nonchalance, and he laughed in the face of his demons and yours.
Like that time you raised the question of what his parents would think if they knew, and he simply said: "Let's find out".
And you did, with him grasping your hand tightly while you wished the ground would swallow you. It went surprisingly well, his father stunned but not condemning, his mother saying she'd suspected as much, and smiling in a way that was oddly reminiscent of his.
"See?" he said later. "You make too much out of things."
You smiled, and shrugged, and didn't mention the death-grip he'd had on your hand while telling them. Because that's the thing about him - even if he's afraid of the consequences, he'll still do what he sees as needful. He refuses to let fears or regrets complicate his life and he runs roughshod over anything that might stop him from living the way he wants to.
The only thing he demands from life is happiness; at once such a simple and such a difficult thing to ask, but he sees no reason why he shouldn't have it - why you both shouldn't - and it takes so little to make him happy, really. Or to make you happy, when you're with him.
Things aren't always straightforward, of course. You have to live in the real world, after all, which is very different from the world of B&B, and which you're still making an effort to get used to. But you have Arashi, and he has you, and you're pretty sure there's nothing out there that the two of you together can't face down.
Life is still a complicated thing, in some ways.
But it's simple in all the ways that matter.
[/fic]
C&C is, as always, extremely welcome.
*toddles off to finish emailing and do some beta-ing*