(no subject)
the show i'm curating is going well except that my own pieces are only about 70% finished and opening night is a week away. I spend my off time avoiding work by traumatizing my capillaries (in the worst way possible: while the hipster west oakland kids, home bums, crack heads, and ne'er-do-wells look on agast)
tonight: went to get drinks as per mine-and-paul's thursday ritual, ran into many personal favorites and one straight up shocker-- an old friend from back in the day whom i told straightforwardly to contact me when he stopped being a disrespectful prick -- who offered me a live painting gig at a party october first (the day of the opening for my solo show) one i don't know if i can refuse, even if i hate this kid's guts, because a gig is a gig, right? and the kid looked sincere, though drunk. not putting my eggs in any baskets yet. just cruisin' and we'll see how it goes. also, he said: i miss being friends with you. made me queasy. what if what if what if.
no apology, shirked responsibility but that's really all i can expect from such a d-bag. love him to death but see past his tricks, and fuck, i am trying to grow up aren't i?
smoked delicious birthday hash atop the bp wind energy headquarters with one of my nearest and dearest customers, both of us shitfaced. left secret notes on random strangers' desks.
the boy i was talking to apparently deleted me out of his fone, feel super dumb. but happy maybe cause i didnt really have feelings for him anyway and had already started making up stupid excuses in my head for why i can't hang out next week. must have sensed trouble.
kind of trying to lay low, but still lonely.
lonely and lame, it's always the same. but i could never imagine it any other way.
tonight: went to get drinks as per mine-and-paul's thursday ritual, ran into many personal favorites and one straight up shocker-- an old friend from back in the day whom i told straightforwardly to contact me when he stopped being a disrespectful prick -- who offered me a live painting gig at a party october first (the day of the opening for my solo show) one i don't know if i can refuse, even if i hate this kid's guts, because a gig is a gig, right? and the kid looked sincere, though drunk. not putting my eggs in any baskets yet. just cruisin' and we'll see how it goes. also, he said: i miss being friends with you. made me queasy. what if what if what if.
no apology, shirked responsibility but that's really all i can expect from such a d-bag. love him to death but see past his tricks, and fuck, i am trying to grow up aren't i?
smoked delicious birthday hash atop the bp wind energy headquarters with one of my nearest and dearest customers, both of us shitfaced. left secret notes on random strangers' desks.
the boy i was talking to apparently deleted me out of his fone, feel super dumb. but happy maybe cause i didnt really have feelings for him anyway and had already started making up stupid excuses in my head for why i can't hang out next week. must have sensed trouble.
kind of trying to lay low, but still lonely.
lonely and lame, it's always the same. but i could never imagine it any other way.