(no subject)
A while back I wanted to post that you can be in love with two people at one time. However, my mood shifts so rapidly that I am not sure this is the case.
I am nostalgic. And I want to do more drugs.
However, this does not mean I am in love with everyone or...well, possibly...with two people.
I am drunk right now, which is probably the only reason i am actually posting. I like to write, but most days I feel like it is too inane to post. I still think that, but I just don't give a fuck, so there. Bitches. Anyway...went to a royals game with James and his dad. Went well. Went to a republican picnic with my dad and bro. Went well.
My bro has a girlfriend, for once. That's going well. The only thing that seems to be not going well is my relationship, which is meh. We're getting to the point where we need to make a decision. However, that seems to be "meh" from me. And so I play SW:TOR, and he plays FFXI, and we go on living. But I want more. I want to go out more. I want to do more things IRL, shockingly enough. So many of my cohort are having kids, getting married, etc. I want that. I want what Mike and Molly have, but I don't think I have it. :-/ I'm not sure we can get there from here. I guess we'll see. If I had to put a label on it, I'd say I'm still depressed, but I am starting to think James isn't the right person for me. It's probably (honestly) both. Dreams of late have consisted of dorms, of new people, of adventures, of things I'm not getting at home. I'm not...it's always the same. School is the same. Work (if I every gained employment while still with james) would probably be the same.
Anyway, it's taken a bit of time to write this, but....I WANT TO GO OUT MORE. Fuck.
I miss being 22. BALLS. I want to go hang out with Amanda. Everybody's in their "forever" relationships. I just want to have fun. I want to get in shape (for REALS) and have fun.
I am nostalgic. And I want to do more drugs.
However, this does not mean I am in love with everyone or...well, possibly...with two people.
I am drunk right now, which is probably the only reason i am actually posting. I like to write, but most days I feel like it is too inane to post. I still think that, but I just don't give a fuck, so there. Bitches. Anyway...went to a royals game with James and his dad. Went well. Went to a republican picnic with my dad and bro. Went well.
My bro has a girlfriend, for once. That's going well. The only thing that seems to be not going well is my relationship, which is meh. We're getting to the point where we need to make a decision. However, that seems to be "meh" from me. And so I play SW:TOR, and he plays FFXI, and we go on living. But I want more. I want to go out more. I want to do more things IRL, shockingly enough. So many of my cohort are having kids, getting married, etc. I want that. I want what Mike and Molly have, but I don't think I have it. :-/ I'm not sure we can get there from here. I guess we'll see. If I had to put a label on it, I'd say I'm still depressed, but I am starting to think James isn't the right person for me. It's probably (honestly) both. Dreams of late have consisted of dorms, of new people, of adventures, of things I'm not getting at home. I'm not...it's always the same. School is the same. Work (if I every gained employment while still with james) would probably be the same.
Anyway, it's taken a bit of time to write this, but....I WANT TO GO OUT MORE. Fuck.
I miss being 22. BALLS. I want to go hang out with Amanda. Everybody's in their "forever" relationships. I just want to have fun. I want to get in shape (for REALS) and have fun.