The fan's on!
This is the best time of year. It's when I start being ok with having less hours (despite my ever-growing financial obligations). It's when I start finding my several hundred pairs of multi-colored flip flops. It's also the time of year that my self esteem plummits. Don't get me wrong, I love the warm weather. It's great to ride with Joe in the Mustang with the top down, and it's great to put my nylons back into storage, but squeezing into those summer clothes after a winter filled with food, family, and a load of weather-related excuses to sit on my ass, really depresses me.
The feeling of self loathing is a little less intense this year, as I have become more accepting of my body with age, but my impending trip to Florida is really making me want a new body. I guess there's a lot more pressure on me during this particular vacation than other ones. I am going with Joe and his friends and let me tell you, the girls who are going, well... they're high maintenance. They're tan, and tone, and rich...I know, I know, wah wah wah. I guess I'm writing this because I am proud of my progress, despite it's lack of perfection. I am not content with my appearance, because I think that I should always be improving, keeping myself healthy and active. I guess I am just glad that even though I am nowhere near my old days of self destruction and borderline eating disorders, I am still happier with how I look. Even though I think I would like to promise myself that I will exercise on a more regular basis, despite my busy work schedule. Running just makes me feel a lot better...
The feeling of self loathing is a little less intense this year, as I have become more accepting of my body with age, but my impending trip to Florida is really making me want a new body. I guess there's a lot more pressure on me during this particular vacation than other ones. I am going with Joe and his friends and let me tell you, the girls who are going, well... they're high maintenance. They're tan, and tone, and rich...I know, I know, wah wah wah. I guess I'm writing this because I am proud of my progress, despite it's lack of perfection. I am not content with my appearance, because I think that I should always be improving, keeping myself healthy and active. I guess I am just glad that even though I am nowhere near my old days of self destruction and borderline eating disorders, I am still happier with how I look. Even though I think I would like to promise myself that I will exercise on a more regular basis, despite my busy work schedule. Running just makes me feel a lot better...