Ha! What the Crap is going on?
God is messing with me again...
I was just upset at Joe for not inviting me to a Piston's game on Sunday and I check my voicemail to have Cole invite me to a Tiger's game tomorrow...
That's how it's always going to be. Cole will always be exactly what I need...I just have to accept that he is not typical, or achievable normally...
Joe is a great guy. I love being with him. Cole just has the unfair advantage of knowing exactly how to treat me, without me ever really telling him how.
It's not that he necessarily cares about me more than Joe does, he just shows it exactly the way I recognize it. I finally realize that very important difference. It always seemed like he loved me so much more than everyone else did...he doesn't. He just expresses himself the same way I do.
I'm not delusional. I promise. I am actually happy. I just know that the old me would have started to lean back on Cole, just for the attention he so wonderfully provides. I guess I have grown up a lot. I don't really need all the attention anymore. (I know it's really hard to believe). I just am enjoying loving and being loved. We fight, we're total opposites and we drive each other crazy, but...it's really, very good.
It's not movie-love. It's reality. And for the first time, that seems so much better. It's more stable, less dramatic, and a hell of a lot more obtainable. Sometimes it's boring, sometimes it is predictable, but it is helping me through one of the hardest times in my life and for that, I am eternally grateful.
I know that some close people to me don't really understand why I am with him. But, those same people never seemed to have a problem with the masichistic way that I always ran back to Adam, so I am not so sure that their particular opinions are unbiased. Just know that I am happy. I mean, I am miserable. I am poor and moving, and working two jobs and FREAKING OUT, but not about my relationship. For once, I have more important things to obsess over....
and on that preposition, good night.
I was just upset at Joe for not inviting me to a Piston's game on Sunday and I check my voicemail to have Cole invite me to a Tiger's game tomorrow...
That's how it's always going to be. Cole will always be exactly what I need...I just have to accept that he is not typical, or achievable normally...
Joe is a great guy. I love being with him. Cole just has the unfair advantage of knowing exactly how to treat me, without me ever really telling him how.
It's not that he necessarily cares about me more than Joe does, he just shows it exactly the way I recognize it. I finally realize that very important difference. It always seemed like he loved me so much more than everyone else did...he doesn't. He just expresses himself the same way I do.
I'm not delusional. I promise. I am actually happy. I just know that the old me would have started to lean back on Cole, just for the attention he so wonderfully provides. I guess I have grown up a lot. I don't really need all the attention anymore. (I know it's really hard to believe). I just am enjoying loving and being loved. We fight, we're total opposites and we drive each other crazy, but...it's really, very good.
It's not movie-love. It's reality. And for the first time, that seems so much better. It's more stable, less dramatic, and a hell of a lot more obtainable. Sometimes it's boring, sometimes it is predictable, but it is helping me through one of the hardest times in my life and for that, I am eternally grateful.
I know that some close people to me don't really understand why I am with him. But, those same people never seemed to have a problem with the masichistic way that I always ran back to Adam, so I am not so sure that their particular opinions are unbiased. Just know that I am happy. I mean, I am miserable. I am poor and moving, and working two jobs and FREAKING OUT, but not about my relationship. For once, I have more important things to obsess over....
and on that preposition, good night.