Life
Things don’t always work out they way you expect them to. In fact, if you’re anything like me, they NEVER work out the way you planned. I know that I am always so busy getting in my own way, that I am the last one to know what’s going on in my own life. It would be great if I could get daily updates like the stockmarket, telling me which decisions that I should sell or buy. It’s interesting, this thing called hindsight. Every decision you ever make is so obviously connected to every event that follows.
Example: you go to the store in your pajamas to buy bagels. You, of course, run into all of your superiors and your most dreaded ex boyfriend. You babble on and on about how great you are, how you’ve moved on and how you only left the hot passionate sex you were having to come to the store and buy jumbo-sized condoms. He smiles and nods, folding his arms and shifting his weight as you explain. You begin to feel really good about yourself, after all, he looks miserable. Then, it hits you. He’s with her. You know, the girl that you always felt shitty about. You excuse yourself from the conversation as she begins to make her way toward you from the Herbal Essences section. You then buy twelve bags of pizza rolls, your body weight in Doritos and gorge yourself for a straight month in hopes of achieving a perpetual food coma to undo your emotional devastation.
This inevitably leads to gastric-bypass surgery and a life of shopping in the maternity section. And all because you had a craving for bagels at midnight.
Example: you go to the store in your pajamas to buy bagels. You, of course, run into all of your superiors and your most dreaded ex boyfriend. You babble on and on about how great you are, how you’ve moved on and how you only left the hot passionate sex you were having to come to the store and buy jumbo-sized condoms. He smiles and nods, folding his arms and shifting his weight as you explain. You begin to feel really good about yourself, after all, he looks miserable. Then, it hits you. He’s with her. You know, the girl that you always felt shitty about. You excuse yourself from the conversation as she begins to make her way toward you from the Herbal Essences section. You then buy twelve bags of pizza rolls, your body weight in Doritos and gorge yourself for a straight month in hopes of achieving a perpetual food coma to undo your emotional devastation.
This inevitably leads to gastric-bypass surgery and a life of shopping in the maternity section. And all because you had a craving for bagels at midnight.