the revenge of the cheerio...
Dear You,
Honestly I don't know what is going on inside this head of mine these days. One day I am dead set on the way I feel, and the next everything is upside down and I don't even know what to feel anymore.
I'm starting to believe that I am cursed as you say. I guess it's just a matter of cereals. I mean i love capn crunch, or at least I thought that I did. Then all of a sudden it's like the revenge of the cheerio. Deep down I will always love cheerios, even if it is only the tiniest bit.
How is it that you have the power to turn my world upside down and right side up and send me spinning in circles all at once? I doubt that you even know that you do it. Or is it that you know and you simply don't care? Either way it's a lose lose situation.
Do I tell you how I feel and risk the rejection that I know is bound to come, or do I just leave it all inside? Things are different now then they used to be and I know that.
Maybe if I had said something back when it mattered, everything would be different now. Maybe not. But the truth is that I will never know.
I wish that I had the courage even today to let you know how I feel, but I don't and I never will. Maybe in a few days, a few weeks, or a few months down the line I will be able to tell you all of these things that I have kept inside. Or maybe not. Maybe you will never know, because I will never give you the pleasure of knowing.
All of these questions, running through my head, unanswered. All of these questions that I wish I knew the answers to. All of these questions that only you can answer.
One day I will have the courage to let this all out. Sometimes I just want to shout it out to the whole world how I feel. But today isn't that day. Today I will be satisfied with this letter to the boy who will forever be tucked in a corner of my heart. For now I will be satisfied with our so rare conversations. For now I will be satisfied with me.
With Unrequited Love,
Your Secret Admirer