Untitled for xiu_jie
Title: Untitled
For: xiu_jie
Author: chwihae
Rating: PG
Length: 2732
Summary: N/A
The sting of the ball bouncing against her wrist feels good.
The ball thumps against the hard cement wall and bounces back to her. Bump, bounce, spike. That's her strategy.
Junhee has been practicing really hard for weeks now. The annual girls' volleyball competition is fast approaching and team captain Minseo has pushed them to do their best.
She sits at one corner after, catching her breath. It isn't much of a secret that she wants to impress the older girl. Ever since her freshman year, Junhee had admired the way Minseok played. Minseo was still a sophomore back then, but undoubtedly one of the best players in the court. She played with intensity yet she seemed to enjoy herself in the process. She had fallen in love with Minseo's passion. And that's how she finds herself joining the volleyball team every year.
This year, by far, is the most special year for Junhee. Minseo is a senior already and everything should be special for Minseo. It feels like somehow Junhee is missing time, like sand slipping from her fingers.
Because the thing is, Junhee is in love with Minseo.
°
Junhee bends and plants her hands on her knees. It is an exhausting practice. Jonghee keeps sidetracking the ball and it’s infuriating. Minseo is, thankfully, still understanding but she keeps telling them to continue until Jonghee ends up with a clean game.
“Goddammit, Jonghee.” She mutters under her breath as they set in line again. She prays that this will be the last time because she swears she can’t move properly anymore.
Things are looking good as Jonghee sends a particularly powerful attack and Yutao intercepts it. The game progresses into a better one and Jonghee sends another powerful attack. Unfortunately, Junhee is too tired to return it and before she knows it, she’s seeing black and her body falls to the ground. She barely registers the screaming and the people running towards her and instead acknowledges the pain that pounds into her head like a hammer to a nail.
Strong arms are pulling her up and she lets out a groan as her whole world starts to spin. Voices are blurring as she hears them.
“Junhee, can you hear me?”
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, Junhee!”
“Hurry up and bring her to the infirmary you idiots!”
“Can you walk?”
An angry hiss and unpleasant name calling. She’s being lifted and there’s a rhythm of hurried walking. She passes out in the process but the last voice she hears is Minseo’s.
“Oh God Junhee, I’m so sorry.”
°
She wakes up two hours later, a painful throbbing in her head.
“Good, you’re awake. Take this.” A glass of water and a pill is handed to her. Minseo is still in her volleyball uniform and her face is adorned with a concerned expression.
“Go on. You’ll feel a lot better after drinking this.” Junhee obediently takes the medicine and she feels her headache being lessened a little to be bearable.
“Nurse Jang says it’s not a serious thing. Just a shock from being hit. Although you’re going to have a bump on your head.” Minseo babbles. She’s wringing her hands together. She’s nervous. "Do you feel better?"
"Yes, unnie." Junhee smiles at the girl. "Don't worry too much about me."
°
Junhee watches from the sidelines since Minseok restricted her from practicing. She insisted that her head is okay, that nothing feels wrong, but the latter insists on nursing her injuries. One of Minseo's qualities is that she's stubborn as well as dominant and who is Junhee, really, to deny her instructions. Junhee agrees but to the condition that she watches. Jongdae, Baekri's boyfriend sits next to her, cheering for his girlfriend.
Jonghee is progressively better today and she shoots a lot of apologetic looks in Junhee's way. She looks pitiful and Junhee puts a stop to with a reassuring smile and a cheer of "Go Jonghee!" sent to the younger girl's way. Yutao and Baekri are both average players and Sehee might probably be their hidden ace since her attacks are powerful yet well placed.
Of course, her eyes always slip to that one particular player. Minseo is naturally great, as if she was born to really be on court.
Minseo looks like a cute little bunny when she jumps to spike the ball.
Watching her team play makes her realize that they're really good and aside from the few slip ups, they're good to go.
°
The next day Minseo finally lets her play. Fortunately, no life threatening balls come to knock her out again.
"Yeah! We're done!" Everyone exchanges sweaty hugs and high fives, hoping to catch their breath. The practice ran smoothly, everyone left in a great mood.
She hugs Minseo and the girl hugs her back, bodies flush against each other. Junhee can smell her shampoo (it smells like roses) and the scent of sweat that clings to her body. Junhee feels like her brain will go haywire, because she has never been this close to her crush before. She can feel tingles running through her back.
"Let's go shower before we go home. You did great everyone!" Minseo hooks her arms around Junhee's shoulders and they walk to the shower room.
There was a light chatter and laughter around as everyone cleaned up. Baekri is teasing Sehee and Yutao is laughing her ass out. Junhee grins at their bickering but freezes when she sees Minseo.
She has only her cream colored bra and her volleyball shorts on. An expanse of white skin and a flat stomach greets Junhee. In the background, she hears Baekri whistle and Jonghee holler unnie has game! Junhee feels like they lit up her inside on fire.
Minseo doesn't cover herself up but she does redden and throws Baekri a half made frown. Yutao gives her a hug and tanned skin makes a contrast with pale ones. Her naughty hands snake up to Minseo's breasts and the latter gives out a squawk of indignity and swats ger hands away. Everyone laughs and for a moment, Junhee wishes that she was the one snaking her hands around Minseo, not to grope her, but to keep her from everyone's eyes.
Junhee walks to the showers and sets the setting to cold. Might as well take advantage of it.
°
A day before the competition, Minseo treats them to ice cream. She says they deserve the break for practicing hard. They pick a table in the corner of the shop and a waiter takes their order. The cool air conditioned shop is a relief to their hot skin and the girls
are elevated into a better mood. A table full of chattering attractive girls, makes everyone's gaze turn in their direction.
"Minseo unnie," Jonghee points to her lips then to Minseo's and giggles. "You have ice cream here."
"Really?" Minseo licks her lips and Junhee shifts in her seat. Okayyy, so much for controlling her feelings.
She eats her ice cream in silence for the next following minutes vaguely aware of Minseo's concerned eyes on her and Jongdae and Baekri's boisterous laughter.
"Hey, are you okay? Did you have a good time? You were so quiet, I thought maybe you didn't like hanging out." Jongdae had taken the task of escorting Baekri home and Yutao wanted to go shopping with Jonghee and Sehee. Minseo's house had the same directions as Junhee's apartment so they walk together.
"I'm fine." Junhee replies. "Maybe it was too hot and it was exhausting to talk?" Minseo hums and she links their arms together.
"I agree. It's like the weather is conspiring against humanity or something."
"Minseo unnie, do you think we have the chance to win?"
"Of course." Minseo puts her hands on Junhee's shoulders and shakes her. "What has happened to you? You got your head knocked for a day and you lose confidence? I believe we will win! I can feel it in my bones!" Minseo fist pumps the air, and cheers.
Junhee can't help the smile that breaks out on her face at the elder's antics. "You'll see, they'll be cheering for us because we will be the best! So don't ever doubt it!"
"Thank you for the reassurance, unnie. Fighting!" She cheers. "I'll give my best!"
"You better!" Minseo says and gives her a wave. "Or I'll kick your butt!" Junhee laughs and waves back a goodbye.
Fluttering feelings aside, Junhee feels that Minseo is the best captain the volleyball team has ever had.
°
As expected, everyone has nerves the following day. Usually they had small talk going on but today, it's completely quiet all the way to the sports stadium.
Their rival team is composed of tall and wiry girls, their leader a scary looking girl with thick eyebrows.
The whole game went by in a blur. The game was wrought in tension, the scores often tied.
"Hey guys." Minseo rounds them up before the last set. "We can do this! They're tall but we got better stances than they have. Don't worry about winning okay? Have lots of fun and remember that I'll always be proud of you whatever happens! Fighting!" They cheer for themselves and then they go into position.
As if invigorated, their team is on the lead, with the score of 10 to 8. Minseok words resonate on Junhee's mind and before she knows it, she delivers the last blow to their win.
The exhilaration of winning is what Junhee blames for her actions as she pulls Minseo up close. And kisses her. It was a fairly quick kiss but the sudden silence and expressions of shock on everyone's faces are taunting Junhee.
Minseo must probably be the biggest receiver of shock, eyes wide and dumbfounded expression on her face. Junhee lets go of her and runs to the backstage, face flaming red.
°
"Junhee." A hand comes up on her shoulder. "We need to talk."
She left before everyone else, taking the bus home. Her wallet feels lighter since the stadium was a few bus stops away but it was okay since she's at the safety of her apartment unit.
"Minseo unnie, how did you get in here?" She sits up quickly, gaping at the older girl.
"Ahh, I was knocking but I didn't know if you could hear me. I also called you but you don't answer. And umm, your apartment door was unlocked so I figured just to go in. Sorry." Sure enough, there were 10 miss calls from Minseo. Her phone must have been on silent.
Silence permeated the room. Junhee twists her blankets with her hands and Minseo is staring at the window at the view outside.
Junhee really can't stand it. Silence pounded into her ears.
"Unnie-"
"It's not that I don't like you, Junhee. I do. But not in that kind of way." Minseo suddenly blurts. "I think of you as my dongsaeng, somebody I would take care of and be a good sister to."
"I know."
"You shouldn't even have a big crush on me." And this is where Minseo came wrong.
"But unnie. I can't just control who I like and who I shouldn't." Tears fill Junhee's eyes.
"I know. That's just me being stupid. Just. Forget it. Forget we talked and forget that you kissed me."
"You're unfair." Junhee whispers head bowed low and tears starting to stream down through fair cheeks.
"I'm sorry, Junhee. Just…" She stands up from the bed and closes the door gently as she leaves.
Junhee closes her eyes and takes deep breaths to calm herself. So this is what rejection feels like, sadness flowing through her veins.
°
Baekri texts her.
From: Baekri
So it's Minseo unnie huh?
She frowns. She doesn't bother to reply.
From: Baekri
You know you should have told us. We would've helped you. We're your friends unnie. Talk to us anytime.
From: Baekri
Anyway, are you coming to Minseo unnie's party? It's supposed to be for our victory but I heard it was some kind of farewell party too.
From: Baekri
It doesn't mean that she doesn't like you back means you should stop being her friend.
To: Baekri
Fine fine I'll be there.
She throws her phone to the side, not caring if it hit the wall. Right. She shouldn't stop being friends with Minseo. She just needed to control her feelings around her.
Not.
°
She doesn't attend Minseo's victory/farewell party. She holes up in her room, with a blanket over her head. Her phone chirps with messages (probably from Baekri asking where is her rump and what is it not doing here in the party?!?!?!?) She needs to sort out her conflicted and hurt thoughts.
Under her covers, she feels safe where no promises of hurt will threaten her. She doesn't need to hide anything.
Maybe she'll live here. She giggles at the ridiculous thought. Was she going crazy?
Knocks at her door makes her stand up and open it.
"Hey, why aren't you dressed yet? You’re half an hour late for my party!" Minseo pushes herself in the apartment and gawks at
Junhee.
"Unnie?"
"Get dressed! I've been waiting for you!"
"But-"
"No buts! Really, just forget everything I've said yesterday and enjoy yourself today. I mean it! You'll have the best party of your life today!"
"Unnie, are you crazy? I don't want to go to your party." She says and wish she can take it back because Minseok suddenly looks like a kicked puppy. She doesn't however, opting to let the words flow from her freely.
"I've hidden these feelings for years and when I finally say it, you pretend it's not true."
"I'm sorry, Junhee. I didn't mean to be insensitive. I'll just leave." Minseo says, face flaming red. And there she goes through the door, out of Junhee's life again.
°
Fourth year presents her as new team captain. Of course, she's the best candidate since she's been with the team for a solid four years and one of the best players. She's pretty great as team captain, rounding the younger girls into discipline and being a good unnie to all of them but she can't help but compare herself to Minseo.
Junhee swears that she's grown out of that love. Or so she thinks. Her heart doesn't flutter anymore when somebody mentions Minseo's name. One year of toxic sadness is enough.
So. As usual they were having a big volleyball competition and she's pushing everyone to do their best so much that Yutao whines at her and Baekri complains every day.
The same feeling of nervousness bubble in her stomach when the day arrives. They file in the stadium and give their best.
"So guys, we can totally do this-"
"Okay, unnie, you sound like Minseo unnie. Let's just go there and kick asses!" Baekhee says. Junhee shoots her a frown.
"Okay fine. Fighting everyone!"
It's like last time, they win but without kissing and a lot of drama. It feels a little bit of sad.
°
Everyone piles into the shower rooms and showers to their content. Junhee was the only one left, taking her sweet time since she knows everyone will wait for her.
"Hey Junhee." Junhee quickly hides her body.
"Holy shit unnie. Don't scare me like that." She tells Minseo.
"Sorry. You played real good today." Minseo is smiling and her hair is shorter than the last time she saw her, which was back when she left her apartment. The memory sends a small ache to her heart.
"Thanks." She says, eyes never leaving Minseo's face.
"Remember when I said that I don't like you in that way. I think I'm ready to learn to. I think I might already."
"What?" Junhee is thoroughly confused and shocked.
"It's just that I've never had a girl like me before. It was disorienting. But I can't deny the fact that it was stirring feelings in me. So I got scared and pushed it all aside. I'm sorry for that Junhee. And I like you too."
Junhee smiles.
"I like you too, unnie. I love you actually. I'm sorry for being cold too that one time."
"Hug?" Minseo opens her arms. Junhee runs to her embrace.
"Hey Junhee do you know that I can feel your boobs?"
"What!? Shut up, unnie, you’re ruining the mood."