Because there's no Daily Show and we must take up the slack

Nov 09, 2007 11:59

Suspected Conan (O'Brien) Stalker Recalled As 'Kind' Priest!

According to the AP:"He was a good seminarian. He was kind and generous and affable and concerned how people were," said the Reverend John Mark Hannon, who mentored (the stalker) before he graduated from St. John's Seminary in Boston in 2001. "He's very likable," Hannon added. "It's just he's stupid, apparently."

I don't know about you, but I can actually hear Jon Stewart reading that last line aloud.

Later that night, Colbert would have a contest called "Who Will Be Stephen Colbert's Stalker?!?" The graphic would be that picture he always uses where he's smiling big-time and has his left arm around someone, pointing to their face with his right hand, except the face would have a scary-looking question mark on it. Stephen would have a list of requirements that any stalker of his would have to meet: for instance, his stalker must be willing to throw himself on any suicide bomber who might try to take out one of America's greatest icons, Stephen Colbert. His stalker must post to Colbertnation.com at least once a day, berating any liberals who might have posted a criticism of Stephen, using the screen name "icanhazcolbert", which will be set aside for the stalker's sole use. Any potential new stalker must also be willing to defend Stephen from bears.

...see, this is why we need the writers back so badly.

dailyshow

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