Song: "The Concrete Frog Murder" (co-authored with arrogantemu)
Back about a month ago, arrogantemu and I wrote this song while on a camping trip, in a burst of mutual inspiration, and I've finally had a chance to type up the words. It was such a collaborative effort that I can't even remember who wrote which line, but we contributed equally. The tune is "Five Nights Drunk." It's based on a true story: Leigh Anne Sabine's murder of her husband John Sabine, which happened sometime in 1997 but which only recently hit the news after Ms. Sabine's own death.
The Concrete Frog Murder
Words: teenybuffalo and arrogantemu
Tune: traditional
While strolling out one evening
All to the church bazaar,
To see our friends and neighbors
And ask them how they are,
We met with Mrs. Johnson
A-sitting in the sun,
She said, "I've killed my husband,"
We said, "Pull the other one."
CHORUS
"Oh no, you must believe me,
My husband Frank is dead,
I hit him with a concrete frog
And put him in the shed."
When I went down the stylist's
For a shampoo and set,
My hairdresser said to me,
"Have you heard the gossip yet?
Mrs. Johnson's husband left her,
He must have gone away."
"Well, that explains the tasteless joke
She made the other day."
CHORUS
Mrs. Johnson lived all lonely
As the years went rolling on,
If you ask my opinion
She seemed glad that he was gone.
If Frank was ever mentioned
Down the pub on Friday night,
She'd always make the same sick joke--
We laughed to be polite.
CHORUS
Now amateur dramatics
Are a longtime love of mine,
I said, "I'm directing Hamlet,"
Mrs. Johnson said, "That's fine,
I've got a skull that you can use,
It's in the garden shed,
It belonged to my dead husband,"
"Not this again," I said.
CHORUS
Now Mrs. Johnson passed away
Quite peacefully in bed,
We called a cleaning service
To clear out her garden shed,
They found a body in a tarp
All rolled up like a log,
And in the forehead was a dent
Shaped like a concrete frog.
FINAL CHORUS:
Whoever would have thought it?
She never even said!
That sweet old lady frogged poor Frank
And put him in the shed.
The Concrete Frog Murder
Words: teenybuffalo and arrogantemu
Tune: traditional
While strolling out one evening
All to the church bazaar,
To see our friends and neighbors
And ask them how they are,
We met with Mrs. Johnson
A-sitting in the sun,
She said, "I've killed my husband,"
We said, "Pull the other one."
CHORUS
"Oh no, you must believe me,
My husband Frank is dead,
I hit him with a concrete frog
And put him in the shed."
When I went down the stylist's
For a shampoo and set,
My hairdresser said to me,
"Have you heard the gossip yet?
Mrs. Johnson's husband left her,
He must have gone away."
"Well, that explains the tasteless joke
She made the other day."
CHORUS
Mrs. Johnson lived all lonely
As the years went rolling on,
If you ask my opinion
She seemed glad that he was gone.
If Frank was ever mentioned
Down the pub on Friday night,
She'd always make the same sick joke--
We laughed to be polite.
CHORUS
Now amateur dramatics
Are a longtime love of mine,
I said, "I'm directing Hamlet,"
Mrs. Johnson said, "That's fine,
I've got a skull that you can use,
It's in the garden shed,
It belonged to my dead husband,"
"Not this again," I said.
CHORUS
Now Mrs. Johnson passed away
Quite peacefully in bed,
We called a cleaning service
To clear out her garden shed,
They found a body in a tarp
All rolled up like a log,
And in the forehead was a dent
Shaped like a concrete frog.
FINAL CHORUS:
Whoever would have thought it?
She never even said!
That sweet old lady frogged poor Frank
And put him in the shed.