We'll turn our faces to the skies, fair weather for to know
I'm so tired, you guys. So so tired. I feel like I'm made out of over-boiled noodles. I've spent every free moment doing Moving Stuff for the last couple of weeks. If I'm not packing boxes and bags and lugging them downstairs to the car, I'm sorting out old papers to burn or clothes to give to charity. I'm sick to fucking death of this process and I can't wait to get comfortable in the new place and actually have free time again.
I didn't ask anyone for help with this process, because it's hard for me to give my friends orders and the discomfort I'd have to overcome there was not as easy as just doing everything myself. And because I don't want even my closest friends going through my stuff. And because, well, I have a lot of crap that I'm having to throw out, and I was worried people would judge me.
I swear I never thought of myself as a hoarder until this episode of my life. But I've been here for two years and ten months, which has been enough time for me to lay down strata of paperwork I'll never need again or clothes I no longer wear or craft supplies that passed their usefulness long ago. I've been throwing out stuff for the last couple of weeks; lots of paper has gone into the recycling or to feed fires, and I've filled five big black trash bags with usable clothes and put them in the donation bin. And it doesn't even look like I've made a dent in my possessions. I need to purge more things. Trying to pack my stuff into the new and slightly smaller bedroom is going to be impossible otherwise. I feel gross for having all this crappy old stuff that I don't use; I feel stripped and insecure as I toss out all these familiar old relics.
I would welcome recommendations for places to buy a cheap bed and bookshelves.
On the plus side, in the last week I:
--tried yoga and liked it, with a strong sense of, "Ahh. This has been missing from my life." I'll probably go back.
--introduced my therapist to the expression, "And Bob's your uncle," which he'd never heard before. He was very amused and it was fun trying to explain it to someone and realizing I'd never understood it myself, only accepted it as part of speech.
--got my dry-cleaning done and realized that my fancy jackets were back in the game
--made myself a pin in the shape of a crescent moon
--watched some silly movies with friends
Going to view a bit more "Gravity Falls" and call it a night.
I didn't ask anyone for help with this process, because it's hard for me to give my friends orders and the discomfort I'd have to overcome there was not as easy as just doing everything myself. And because I don't want even my closest friends going through my stuff. And because, well, I have a lot of crap that I'm having to throw out, and I was worried people would judge me.
I swear I never thought of myself as a hoarder until this episode of my life. But I've been here for two years and ten months, which has been enough time for me to lay down strata of paperwork I'll never need again or clothes I no longer wear or craft supplies that passed their usefulness long ago. I've been throwing out stuff for the last couple of weeks; lots of paper has gone into the recycling or to feed fires, and I've filled five big black trash bags with usable clothes and put them in the donation bin. And it doesn't even look like I've made a dent in my possessions. I need to purge more things. Trying to pack my stuff into the new and slightly smaller bedroom is going to be impossible otherwise. I feel gross for having all this crappy old stuff that I don't use; I feel stripped and insecure as I toss out all these familiar old relics.
I would welcome recommendations for places to buy a cheap bed and bookshelves.
On the plus side, in the last week I:
--tried yoga and liked it, with a strong sense of, "Ahh. This has been missing from my life." I'll probably go back.
--introduced my therapist to the expression, "And Bob's your uncle," which he'd never heard before. He was very amused and it was fun trying to explain it to someone and realizing I'd never understood it myself, only accepted it as part of speech.
--got my dry-cleaning done and realized that my fancy jackets were back in the game
--made myself a pin in the shape of a crescent moon
--watched some silly movies with friends
Going to view a bit more "Gravity Falls" and call it a night.