Even dead in a tale where the witches dwell
So, there's something you all should know about me. I have this massive crush on the actor Doug Jones. It hit me about a month ago when I was on YouTube looking for something unrelated, and it's only grown stronger since then.
Let me explain. You've probably seen him in something if you're into genre film in any way--he's famous for having played a lot of monsters, creatures, and nonhumans, most famously the Faun and the Pale Man in Pan's Labyrinth, Abe Sapien in the Hellboy movies, and in the second Fantastic Four movie as No Junk McShinyBuns the Silver Surfer. (Not even for Doug Jones am I watching that movie, but I hear his performance is the good part.) And he played the lead Gentleman in that one episode of BtVS that made everyone so uncomfortable (it was "Hush"--there's nothing like being deprived of speech to provoke unease).
Also, that's Jones in my icon as Billy the dorky zombie from Hocus Pocus. He has less than ten minutes of screen time, but they're good minutes.
I remember that one from my childhood--which is rare for me, because before my teens we didn't have a TV in the house and I rarely saw anything in the theaters that wasn't animation. But I watched Hocus Pocus right after it came out, and despite watching it with a bunch of numbskulled fellow twelve-year-olds who talked through the whole thing, I loved every second of it. Of course I did. It had witches and magic and flying broomsticks and a talking black cat and cemeteries and an entire town dancing itself to death and old people drinking children's souls to become young again. So it was pretty much made for me personally, as much as if the filmmakers had known my tastes. I remember also that the three harridan witches raised a dead ex-boyfriend as a zombie to do their bidding. With his lips sewn shut. I identified with him, even if I didn't know that use of the word "identified" at the time. There's nothing like being deprived of speech to provoke unease.
There is this lovely phenomenon among people who saw Hocus Pocus in their early youth. I re-watched the whole movie via clips on YouTube, and every time there was a scene where Billy Butcherson appeared, someone or other was sure to have left a comment to the video that said something like, "I had such a crush on Billy when I was a kid! Yep, I was a baby bat even then." And someone else will say, "OMG me too! I'm such a freak!" and a third woman will add, "Don't worry, I did too." It's adorable. And it happens every single time this character is mentioned in a comment thread. (For the record, Doug Jones knows that having-a-girlhood-crush-on-Billy is a common thing, because grown fans come up to him in person and tell him about it. From all I can tell, he thinks it's cute and hilarious.) As for me, zombies are my people, so it doesn't seem freaky.
In my recent bout of joy at rediscovering a performer whom I love, I've watched a bunch of stuff of Jones's. By his own admission he was in a lot of turkeys early in his career, so I'm not going to try to view an exhaustive list of every film and TV appearance in the history of ever. But a lot of his work is in films that I think I'll like or can at least sit through for his performance, so I have many options. Gods be good to us, there is a movie out there called Raze which features Zoe Bell as the latest in a series of women kidnapped and forced to fight in gladiatorial matches in secret underground arenas for the entertainment of jaded rich people. Jones plays the major villain. I'm probably going to watch it no matter what it's like, so fingers crossed that it's a lot of campy fun and doesn't try to take itself seriously. The most recent thing of his that I tried was an episode of a Canadian TV series called "Fear Itself" where he plays a wendigo. It interested me for a few reasons; I'll post about that separately. Not a lot of wendigos in pop culture. They could use a little more love, it seems to me. There's apparently one in "Supernatural" but that's about it in the grand scheme of things.
Of course I want to see Doug Jones in all kinds of roles. I wish he'd do more human characters; he's exceedingly tall and thin, and so hyperflexible he can put his leg behind his neck. He's also a mime and a contortionist. For someone who's spent a lot of professional time having monstrous/inhuman bodies built around him, his own physical appearance is fascinating without special effects. (Hear me out: this guy as Jack Point in The Yeomen of the Guard. Right?!)
aunt_zelda and I have an ongoing conversation on Tumblr where we cast him in imaginary projects like "Wingmen," which would be a buddy cop show with him and Andy Serkis playing twenty different roles and having slashy subtext. (Then it turned out that Jones himself knows that Tumblr exists and has an account and reads people's posts about him AND likes "Wingmen." And then Zelda and I both exploded into a million pink candy hearts. The End.) He has muse-like powers for everybody, not only for Guillermo del Toro.
Like a lot of classic horror actors I admire, Jones out of character is very cute and winsome, with elegant hands and big soulful eyes. Yep. I'm crushing, here, and I don't care who knows it. The man has provided us with the most potent images of monstrousness to appear in recent years, and as if that weren't enough, he seems charming and funny and nice to his fanbase. Here he is at a con (it's the infamous Dashcon), dancing and being twirled at the evening party. Look at those legs. The man dances like Jack Skellington.
Oh, csecooney? ~Yoohoo~ When there is a movie version of The Big Bah-Ha and "Wild Over Tombs Does Grow," this is the man who can play the Flabberghast. No one else can do him justice. Am I right or am I right?! (I don't know what he's doing in that last one. Velociraptor impressions, probably.)
Get this, people: VOLTAIRE WROTE A SONG ABOUT HIM. Let me run that by you again. Voltaire the cabaret singer/songwriter/pirate/highwayman/vampire/elf is a huge fan of Doug Jones, and wrote a song about him called "The Devil And Mr. Jones," showcasing a ton of fannish love. Check it out here--I love it, but be warned the chorus is one big mass of in-jokes for those who know exactly who directed Jones in what movie. I adore things like this, where one person whom I admire has a crush on has affection for someone else I hold dear. Makes me more at ease about being a fangirl, too.
There, I feel better for having talked about it. Share your own celebrity crushes in the comments, if you like.
Let me explain. You've probably seen him in something if you're into genre film in any way--he's famous for having played a lot of monsters, creatures, and nonhumans, most famously the Faun and the Pale Man in Pan's Labyrinth, Abe Sapien in the Hellboy movies, and in the second Fantastic Four movie as No Junk McShinyBuns the Silver Surfer. (Not even for Doug Jones am I watching that movie, but I hear his performance is the good part.) And he played the lead Gentleman in that one episode of BtVS that made everyone so uncomfortable (it was "Hush"--there's nothing like being deprived of speech to provoke unease).
Also, that's Jones in my icon as Billy the dorky zombie from Hocus Pocus. He has less than ten minutes of screen time, but they're good minutes.
I remember that one from my childhood--which is rare for me, because before my teens we didn't have a TV in the house and I rarely saw anything in the theaters that wasn't animation. But I watched Hocus Pocus right after it came out, and despite watching it with a bunch of numbskulled fellow twelve-year-olds who talked through the whole thing, I loved every second of it. Of course I did. It had witches and magic and flying broomsticks and a talking black cat and cemeteries and an entire town dancing itself to death and old people drinking children's souls to become young again. So it was pretty much made for me personally, as much as if the filmmakers had known my tastes. I remember also that the three harridan witches raised a dead ex-boyfriend as a zombie to do their bidding. With his lips sewn shut. I identified with him, even if I didn't know that use of the word "identified" at the time. There's nothing like being deprived of speech to provoke unease.
There is this lovely phenomenon among people who saw Hocus Pocus in their early youth. I re-watched the whole movie via clips on YouTube, and every time there was a scene where Billy Butcherson appeared, someone or other was sure to have left a comment to the video that said something like, "I had such a crush on Billy when I was a kid! Yep, I was a baby bat even then." And someone else will say, "OMG me too! I'm such a freak!" and a third woman will add, "Don't worry, I did too." It's adorable. And it happens every single time this character is mentioned in a comment thread. (For the record, Doug Jones knows that having-a-girlhood-crush-on-Billy is a common thing, because grown fans come up to him in person and tell him about it. From all I can tell, he thinks it's cute and hilarious.) As for me, zombies are my people, so it doesn't seem freaky.
In my recent bout of joy at rediscovering a performer whom I love, I've watched a bunch of stuff of Jones's. By his own admission he was in a lot of turkeys early in his career, so I'm not going to try to view an exhaustive list of every film and TV appearance in the history of ever. But a lot of his work is in films that I think I'll like or can at least sit through for his performance, so I have many options. Gods be good to us, there is a movie out there called Raze which features Zoe Bell as the latest in a series of women kidnapped and forced to fight in gladiatorial matches in secret underground arenas for the entertainment of jaded rich people. Jones plays the major villain. I'm probably going to watch it no matter what it's like, so fingers crossed that it's a lot of campy fun and doesn't try to take itself seriously. The most recent thing of his that I tried was an episode of a Canadian TV series called "Fear Itself" where he plays a wendigo. It interested me for a few reasons; I'll post about that separately. Not a lot of wendigos in pop culture. They could use a little more love, it seems to me. There's apparently one in "Supernatural" but that's about it in the grand scheme of things.
Of course I want to see Doug Jones in all kinds of roles. I wish he'd do more human characters; he's exceedingly tall and thin, and so hyperflexible he can put his leg behind his neck. He's also a mime and a contortionist. For someone who's spent a lot of professional time having monstrous/inhuman bodies built around him, his own physical appearance is fascinating without special effects. (Hear me out: this guy as Jack Point in The Yeomen of the Guard. Right?!)
aunt_zelda and I have an ongoing conversation on Tumblr where we cast him in imaginary projects like "Wingmen," which would be a buddy cop show with him and Andy Serkis playing twenty different roles and having slashy subtext. (Then it turned out that Jones himself knows that Tumblr exists and has an account and reads people's posts about him AND likes "Wingmen." And then Zelda and I both exploded into a million pink candy hearts. The End.) He has muse-like powers for everybody, not only for Guillermo del Toro.
Like a lot of classic horror actors I admire, Jones out of character is very cute and winsome, with elegant hands and big soulful eyes. Yep. I'm crushing, here, and I don't care who knows it. The man has provided us with the most potent images of monstrousness to appear in recent years, and as if that weren't enough, he seems charming and funny and nice to his fanbase. Here he is at a con (it's the infamous Dashcon), dancing and being twirled at the evening party. Look at those legs. The man dances like Jack Skellington.
Oh, csecooney? ~Yoohoo~ When there is a movie version of The Big Bah-Ha and "Wild Over Tombs Does Grow," this is the man who can play the Flabberghast. No one else can do him justice. Am I right or am I right?! (I don't know what he's doing in that last one. Velociraptor impressions, probably.)
Get this, people: VOLTAIRE WROTE A SONG ABOUT HIM. Let me run that by you again. Voltaire the cabaret singer/songwriter/pirate/highwayman/vampire/elf is a huge fan of Doug Jones, and wrote a song about him called "The Devil And Mr. Jones," showcasing a ton of fannish love. Check it out here--I love it, but be warned the chorus is one big mass of in-jokes for those who know exactly who directed Jones in what movie. I adore things like this, where one person whom I admire has a crush on has affection for someone else I hold dear. Makes me more at ease about being a fangirl, too.
There, I feel better for having talked about it. Share your own celebrity crushes in the comments, if you like.