retraction entry
here's a retraction entry...clearing a few things up. maybe by my last entry i made it seem like i wanted to eventually get back together with blake. I don't. thats the whole idea of moving on. i have moved on. i have moved on to someone so incredibly amazing that just the sound of his voice (as cheesy as this sounds) makes me feel so complete, so fullfilled, and so incredibly safe. just being on the phone with him, even if he's saying nothing, makes everything seem and feel ok. i want him to know that i care SO MUCH about him. and im scared and excited and happy all at the same time. life with him loving me is the best life i could ever ask for. maybe this is all too soon to be saying. but like he said, "time and love don't go hand in hand". when you love someone, you just know. it just feels right. and you have to give in to it. you have to surrender to it. run the risk, everything i have been telling mush but now have to tell myself.
i have to learn to trust other people, to let other people in. last night he was talking to me/singing to me and one of the things he said made me cry. he said something like i want you to trust me. and i want to so so so badly. and for some reason, i do trust him. i am opening myself up to him. i am falling in love with him. and i want to. im not forcing myself to love him and im not trying to stop myself either. im falling in love with the incredible person that he is...the person he doesnt see, but i see so well.
and i love this feeling.
"You keep bringing out the free in me
What you do to my heart just makes me melt
And I don't think I can resist
But I've never been one to kiss and tell
A love this true can't be subdued
So I'm gonna let out a yell"
i have to learn to trust other people, to let other people in. last night he was talking to me/singing to me and one of the things he said made me cry. he said something like i want you to trust me. and i want to so so so badly. and for some reason, i do trust him. i am opening myself up to him. i am falling in love with him. and i want to. im not forcing myself to love him and im not trying to stop myself either. im falling in love with the incredible person that he is...the person he doesnt see, but i see so well.
and i love this feeling.
"You keep bringing out the free in me
What you do to my heart just makes me melt
And I don't think I can resist
But I've never been one to kiss and tell
A love this true can't be subdued
So I'm gonna let out a yell"