A Hee-Hawing Donkey Weekend
This weekend was my parents 20th anniversary, so my dad suprised my mom with a suprise trip to Paris. As a consolation to Sean, Ryan, and Myself, dad was kind enough to hire a babysitter for the week. But not just any babysitter, but.... DAWNAH MERRIL!!
Anyways. Mike, Pete, Will, and Joe came over on Saturday. Around 8 we decided to get Will smashed so that he'd get in trouble when he went home. We made him drink Tequila and Rum while we drank watered down shit so we could enjoy the show. It was better than we imagined. Who would have geussed Ryan can hold his drink better than Will? Me. After four shots Will was hyperventalating and accusing us of a vast conspiracy to get him drunk. Then he tried to fight me and Peter before we threw him to the ground and beat him with a box until it was in many peices. Then Sean threw up twice after thirteen shots of Whiskey. He threw up on the porch and IN the trash can. We told Dawnah, or "The D-Machine" as Sean calls her, that Kristi was the one that threw up. She bought it. Now lets recap: Kristi, an 11 inch tall Beagle, managed to throw up Pizza and booze into a three foot tall garbage can. Sounds plausible, right?
Then on sunday we discussed how douchey the Lewis's are and Dawnah told us someting interesting(Imagine the conversation is "DAWNAH MERRIL 'EBAWNICS'"):
ME: Ya, not only is Will a d-bag, but his brothers wore diapers until they were nine!
(Blah blah blah)
D-Machine: Oh my Gawd! Its probably gentetic! I used to share a bed with my sister and she would always wet the bed and I would wake up all covered in pee!! She would pee all ovah me!!
Me: What a bitch.
D-Machine: No, shee couldnt help it.
Me: I bet she did it out of spite.
D-Machine: No, she would dream about peeing and then she'd wet the bed and pee on me.
Me: You should have shit on her face and then told her that you did it in your sleep.
Later she said:
Dawnah: "Wouldn't it be funny if you guys got drunk and wore your moms underwear?" ..... "Thats what I would have done." (we stop laughing) "I geuss you had to be there."
Sean: "I geuss not."
Then Sean convinced her to belt out an emotional rendition of "She's a Hee- Hawing Donkey girl" TWICE and once in Falsetto including several "Wooooohoooo"'s and "Ooooh hooooo"'s. I swear on my life!
Anyways. Mike, Pete, Will, and Joe came over on Saturday. Around 8 we decided to get Will smashed so that he'd get in trouble when he went home. We made him drink Tequila and Rum while we drank watered down shit so we could enjoy the show. It was better than we imagined. Who would have geussed Ryan can hold his drink better than Will? Me. After four shots Will was hyperventalating and accusing us of a vast conspiracy to get him drunk. Then he tried to fight me and Peter before we threw him to the ground and beat him with a box until it was in many peices. Then Sean threw up twice after thirteen shots of Whiskey. He threw up on the porch and IN the trash can. We told Dawnah, or "The D-Machine" as Sean calls her, that Kristi was the one that threw up. She bought it. Now lets recap: Kristi, an 11 inch tall Beagle, managed to throw up Pizza and booze into a three foot tall garbage can. Sounds plausible, right?
Then on sunday we discussed how douchey the Lewis's are and Dawnah told us someting interesting(Imagine the conversation is "DAWNAH MERRIL 'EBAWNICS'"):
ME: Ya, not only is Will a d-bag, but his brothers wore diapers until they were nine!
(Blah blah blah)
D-Machine: Oh my Gawd! Its probably gentetic! I used to share a bed with my sister and she would always wet the bed and I would wake up all covered in pee!! She would pee all ovah me!!
Me: What a bitch.
D-Machine: No, shee couldnt help it.
Me: I bet she did it out of spite.
D-Machine: No, she would dream about peeing and then she'd wet the bed and pee on me.
Me: You should have shit on her face and then told her that you did it in your sleep.
Later she said:
Dawnah: "Wouldn't it be funny if you guys got drunk and wore your moms underwear?" ..... "Thats what I would have done." (we stop laughing) "I geuss you had to be there."
Sean: "I geuss not."
Then Sean convinced her to belt out an emotional rendition of "She's a Hee- Hawing Donkey girl" TWICE and once in Falsetto including several "Wooooohoooo"'s and "Ooooh hooooo"'s. I swear on my life!